I was not going to post this online at first, but as I have had some more time to think about this and get it all straight in my head so I think I shall. Also I was afraid id be looked upon as a weirdo or lunatic, if anyone thinks that, then fair play to you.
Not the Christmas just gone, but on the Christmas day of 2003 My dog Star passed over because of a problem with cancer she had been suffering with, she went rapidly down hill on that Christmas day and the vet was called and she was put to sleep. I did not deal with it well at all and had to have hospital treatment for it and spent nearly a month moping in bed. After time I regained enough confidence to start walking alone in the countryside, where me and star had walked a 1000 times before. On these walks I would ask that star be with me in spirit, but never expected to experience anything, but many times I would hear her dog tags jangling as if she was walking beside me, my imagination? I did not know at the time.
Also here is something else strange that happened when star was still here on one of our long walks in the Cambridgeshire countryside, which is where I still live, at one point on a walk on a woodland path, a dog come out from nowhere and stood in my path (Star always growled at other dogs) but she never at this one and just waged her tail at him/her I thought it very strange how this dog appeared from nowhere, because there where no houses for at least 2 miles in every direction, it was deep in the countryside and no other dog walkers where to be seen, I then looked at the dog closer which was a brown whippet type dog, and then realised it was a spitting image of a dog Sam that Star used to play with as a puppy in the local park where I used to live in hook Hampshire, it was the only dog she ever got on with, anyway the dog dashed back into the bushes and vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, I thought that was a odd experienced, but soon forgot about it. A week or 2 after this incident star was diagnosed with cancer, which was eventually the cause of her passing on Christmas 2003. Also on one of my walks after her passing I saw a black and white patched cat that Star always chased, it came up to me as I was on my own and I stroked it, when all of a sudden the cat sprouted up right and looked behind me in shock and ran off as if it had seen something behind me, I looked but there was nothing or no one there, I sometimes wonder if the cat had sensed Star.
Anyway to the point of the post. on Christmas eve of 2004 just gone I was not in the best of moods as Christmas is not something I like anymore since the passing of Star the year before .
I was board in bed and decided to watch the passion of Christ on box office, I watched it thinking I was going to see a good movie with a good story, instead I saw a fundamentalist propaganda film that shocked, sickened, and appalled me, the whole movie was just Jesus being tortured, it made me feel physically sick, anyway the movie just ended up making me feel even worse so I decided to go to sleep which I did.....
The past few nights I had been having dreams with Star in them, what was to happen next would be something I will never forget….
I woke up to see star standing over me as she did when alive, wagging her tail, I could even feel her breath on my cheek, I sat up confused thinking it was a vivid dream, but it felt different from a dream, but not the same as the normal awake state, I was pleased and happy but at the same time a little confused, as I could feel something or someone in the corner of the room, I got a feeling of someone or something overwhelming watching me, not bad but just something I know my thoughts could not contemplate or understand so I could not turn to look at it. I know this will sound cheesy and crazy, but I got the impression who ever it was, was the person who brought star through to me, I know they where a light of some sort, many people would say it was some religious figure or something like that. I don’t know who or what it was, I just know I could not look at them even if I wanted to, I was more focused on Star anyway who then jumped up on to my bed, and so I then got up and started stoking her, which made me very emotional, the "figure" angel, light being, past over relative, higher self, what ever it was, was still standing there its something that I could not ignore even though I could not look at the presence.
Then the oddest thing happened, I was still hugging star when I heard my bed room door open, and even though I did not look I could hear my dad as I was still sitting up stroking Star, he said ‘What the hell are you doing? are you dreaming?’ I ignored his words and continued to stroke Star, when all of a sudden, it was like BANG!! I woke up again and Star and the presence was gone, the door was now closed and the experience ended, I felt overjoyed yet stunned and confused.
I told some people about it the next day or two later, but did not want to go into great detail as I was still getting my head around it.
I know now it was a visitation by Star, after thinking greatly about it I am now convinced it was some strange dream visitation. Even though I know I was in some kind of weird dream state it was not a normal dream it seemed even more real than a normal waking state. I still wonder if in fact my dad opening the door was in fact what he did, because he had come into my room and saw me stroking someone that was not there to his eyes, because he heard me talking to someone in my room, but I guess ill never know as its not something I can talk about with him or my family.
I know that dream meant something very powerful, and I thank with all my heart who ever, or what ever it was that brought star to me, exactly a year after she passed.
The visitation just out of interest was not just a year from when star passed to the day, it was in the same hour she had passed too, because I looked at the time on my video when I woke up after the experience.
Even though at first it left me rather confused I now have total comfort from the visitation in that I will one day be with star again. 2004 was not a good one for me emotionally and I still get upset just out of the blue, but now I know that she is alive somewhere else for sure so its not as painful as it was.
The best I can describe to what happened was the scene in the movie Ghost when Sam wakes up in bed and has the visions of the Virgin Mary statue, except it was not as frightening. The experience was not a normal dream, and it was not a normal awake state, it was some other form of weird conciseness I have never felt before.
All the best
Faeden
. Take care, my friend.
