1.  Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? [B]Trying to sqeeze that last little bit of electricity out of the batteries.

2.  Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Cuz they know they will get their money first.

3.  Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? They don't want to bother counting the stars, but wet paint is easy to verify

4.  Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Needs air to stick

5.  Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? They don't want to cause an infection in case the guy is repreived at the last second.

6.  Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Running into too many trees? Too many encounters with lion's razor sharp claws?

7.  Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?  His head ain't gun proof?

8.  Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Head injuries are the leading cause of death in collisions with solid objects. Plus it makes clean up easier if you have the brains all in one location.

9.  Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Someone who does not lisp

10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Ask the republicans and democrates. Closest things to apes I have found.

11. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Yes, always.

12. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? The water bleaches it (Bubbles are multi colored if you look very close)

13. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Christmas and New Years Stores are closed.

14. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Faith that the fresh food God will have blessed them.

15. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Verify that the offending string is not glued to said carpet. Plus no one wants to have to go out and buy another vacum cleaner.

16. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Designed that way. Just so some poor schmuck can feel important and superior about his job.

17. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
Practice, lots and lots of practice.

18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Newtons law. For every action, there is a equal and opposite reaction.

19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Stupidity.

20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Not as funny. since most father-in-laws are happy their son and/or daughters are married and not living at home.21. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. [/B]    And your point is what???????
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Uh oh..stillcrazy sounds insulted..me thinks hes that 1 friend out of the 4 

Funny questions Nxt2Hvn..i found them pretty unanswerable   
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1.  Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?for some reason I've always like just pressing the buttons...

2.  Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? because they can?

3.  Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? paint is fun to poke, you cannot poke the stars

4.  Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? why doesn't toothpaste clean boars?

5.  Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? why does the old woman belch?

6.  Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? shark tooth make good razor

7.  Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him? because he has a chronic fear of guns

8.  Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Safety First

9.  Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? who's idea was it to put the 'h' in "John"?

10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? If god created humans, why is there still god?

11. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? Yes.

12. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? because bubbles are racist

13. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Doubt it

14. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? heh, i do that all the time. Usually because i'm hoping my mom would have gone to the store and back between my naps

15. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? because string is a vile little thing, and it deserves to be tormented

16. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? why do paper bags smell funny?

17. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures? magic

18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Usually, in an attemp to knock something over, i manage to save something too...

19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? i....hate....heat

20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? why don't you ever hear "Your Daddy" jokes?

21. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.     I feel violated...
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