Hi Anyone bothering to read this....
I'm feeling fed up (self pity I know, I'm sorry) and REALLY
need cheering up.
To cut a long story short I turn 30 on Friday, I've no husband,
no kids and I seem to be spending my week off work, on this site.
I don't care if it's a joke (even a really old one) or just some
good deed you've done recently to make me feel good about the
world again....
Thanks VERY much
Meri
Full Version: Cheer me up PLEASE !
ok wat do u get if u cross a monkey with banna?
something that eats it self
good deed i grassed my mate up 12 the cops 4 driving inlegaly
(also if ya r single i qwould like 2 say helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nurise)
something that eats it self
good deed i grassed my mate up 12 the cops 4 driving inlegaly
(also if ya r single i qwould like 2 say helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nurise)
Hi meristar, sorry that you are feeling so low i am not sure if I can cheer you up but i truly believe happiness and sadness are served as a well balanced diet in everyones lifetime. And if things look really down at the moment something equally up is about to come your way. So look forward to whats next on the menu.
When I turned 40 my life turned upside down for awile. I lost my wife of 20 years and good paying job of 20 years all within a couple of months. I was so depressed I packed up three suitcases and returned to N.Ireland. kinda a social suicide thing. That year turned out to be a spiritual awakening for a devout sceptic at the time I was shown things I did not know existed. I traveled alot during that period staying in b&b's and hostels never knowing were I would go the next day I just followed my heart for awile.
I am now back in Canada things could not be better for me now. I give back to the community (volunteer work) I have a great job and I am currently President of a national service organization. So you see my life has completely changed for the better and I understand that life truly does not begin until your 40. for you I hope its 30. Good luck and keep smileing
When I turned 40 my life turned upside down for awile. I lost my wife of 20 years and good paying job of 20 years all within a couple of months. I was so depressed I packed up three suitcases and returned to N.Ireland. kinda a social suicide thing. That year turned out to be a spiritual awakening for a devout sceptic at the time I was shown things I did not know existed. I traveled alot during that period staying in b&b's and hostels never knowing were I would go the next day I just followed my heart for awile.
I am now back in Canada things could not be better for me now. I give back to the community (volunteer work) I have a great job and I am currently President of a national service organization. So you see my life has completely changed for the better and I understand that life truly does not begin until your 40. for you I hope its 30. Good luck and keep smileing
To "KingDude22a"
Your joke made me smile - thanks but I'm not
too sure your mate saw your act as good deed....
And To "Irish"
Thanks VERY much for your reply I'm glad things
have got so much better for you. The volunteering
bit has made me think...It's something I keep
thinking about and putting off maybe 2005 is the
year I stop "putting off"
Thanks again
Meri
Your joke made me smile - thanks but I'm not
too sure your mate saw your act as good deed....
And To "Irish"
Thanks VERY much for your reply I'm glad things
have got so much better for you. The volunteering
bit has made me think...It's something I keep
thinking about and putting off maybe 2005 is the
year I stop "putting off"
Thanks again
Meri
Wait a minute, let's reverse this senario meristar, if i may.
You're SINGLE, you're UNBURDENED by bratty snotty kids who drain your wallet, you've got a free week to yourself, and a perfect excuse to get out and have a great time coming up!
You're way less than middle aged, which means you have plenty of time left yet to do the whole marriage and kids stuff, so why not enjoy this time, and don't let the troubles of what society tells you you should be doing. Have fun! Live a little with nothing to hold you back!
Don't be this guy,
Be this guy:
You're SINGLE, you're UNBURDENED by bratty snotty kids who drain your wallet, you've got a free week to yourself, and a perfect excuse to get out and have a great time coming up!
You're way less than middle aged, which means you have plenty of time left yet to do the whole marriage and kids stuff, so why not enjoy this time, and don't let the troubles of what society tells you you should be doing. Have fun! Live a little with nothing to hold you back!
Don't be this guy,
Be this guy:
Well em, Think of it this way,I was reading the Sun (British Tabloid) and the dear Deardie Page had A Guy Who Wrote in complaing he only had 2 inches (when he felt "happy") 
As they say there is always somone who feels worse than you!
Also if that didnt work Here's some jokes I posted A while Back
Two women friends had gone out for a girl's night out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they need to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, and used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These bloody girls' night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, `From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.
"Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. "I got a ride down here in some guy's moustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar.
"Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "You go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?"
So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see but Oscar - looking more chilled and miserable than before. "Listen," said Oscar, "I did everything you said. I made it to the stewardess lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, and made a perfect landing and got so warm and cosy that I dozed right off." "And so?" asked the first flea. "And so the next thing I know, I'm on this guy's moustache again!"
Here is a link to the Thread with more funnies
Link
As they say there is always somone who feels worse than you!
Also if that didnt work Here's some jokes I posted A while Back
Two women friends had gone out for a girl's night out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they need to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, and used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These bloody girls' night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, `From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.
"Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. "I got a ride down here in some guy's moustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar.
"Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "You go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?"
So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see but Oscar - looking more chilled and miserable than before. "Listen," said Oscar, "I did everything you said. I made it to the stewardess lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, and made a perfect landing and got so warm and cosy that I dozed right off." "And so?" asked the first flea. "And so the next thing I know, I'm on this guy's moustache again!"
Here is a link to the Thread with more funnies
Link
OK here's a joke my substitute teacher told me...
A police officer pulls over a blonde because she ran a red light. The officer says do you have a licence? The blond says a what? The officer says a drivers licence!(By the way the officer is blonde too) The blonde says,"What's a licence look like?" The officer says." Well it's small and has your picture on it!" So the blonde looks through her purse. She pulls out a mirror and says, "oh here this must be it, it has my picture on it."
So the officer takes the mirror and says," Oh I'm sorry I had no idea you were a officer!!!"
Get it? HAHAHA
A police officer pulls over a blonde because she ran a red light. The officer says do you have a licence? The blond says a what? The officer says a drivers licence!(By the way the officer is blonde too) The blonde says,"What's a licence look like?" The officer says." Well it's small and has your picture on it!" So the blonde looks through her purse. She pulls out a mirror and says, "oh here this must be it, it has my picture on it."
So the officer takes the mirror and says," Oh I'm sorry I had no idea you were a officer!!!"
Get it? HAHAHA
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/
go here it will make you happy
o my word this tune is annoying
yes i know its really annoying
i cant get this song out of my head
make it stop this tune is annoying
i gotta go to work in the morning
now i am gonna be humming it in my bed
go here it will make you happy
o my word this tune is annoying
yes i know its really annoying
i cant get this song out of my head
make it stop this tune is annoying
i gotta go to work in the morning
now i am gonna be humming it in my bed
Hi Meristar! Please don't be sad. It will get better. Your thirties can actually be a lot of fun! I'm 38 and still single, and I've gotten to the point where I really appreciate having the freedom to please myself.
Loved the jokes, guys (although that ant one . . . ouch!) and, Burnside, those pictures are adorable! They cheered me up!
(we have an impending death in our family so I'm kind of down too 
)
Loved the jokes, guys (although that ant one . . . ouch!) and, Burnside, those pictures are adorable! They cheered me up!
(we have an impending death in our family so I'm kind of down too )
Hi Meristar, cheer up! Here's something that my friend e-mailed me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of USA. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and
Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down
on them and makes them perspire."
4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are
going away."
6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in
the cow."
7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."
8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called
Mosquitoes."
9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to
house increasing the population."
10. "Most of the houses in France are made of
plaster of Paris."
11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The
head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom."
12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because
it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."
14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church
from sinners."
15. The sun never set on the British Empire because
the British Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.
16. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should
be hanged twice for the same offence.
17. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic
decline.
18. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by
another man of that name.
19. Bach was the most famous composer in the world
and so was Handel. Handel was half German , half Italian and half English. He
was very large.
20. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and
without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
21. The invention of the steamboat caused a network
of rivers to spring up.
22. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on
a thorn for 63 years.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of USA. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and
Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down
on them and makes them perspire."
4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are
going away."
6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in
the cow."
7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."
8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called
Mosquitoes."
9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to
house increasing the population."
10. "Most of the houses in France are made of
plaster of Paris."
11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The
head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom."
12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because
it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."
14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church
from sinners."
15. The sun never set on the British Empire because
the British Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.
16. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should
be hanged twice for the same offence.
17. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic
decline.
18. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by
another man of that name.
19. Bach was the most famous composer in the world
and so was Handel. Handel was half German , half Italian and half English. He
was very large.
20. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and
without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
21. The invention of the steamboat caused a network
of rivers to spring up.
22. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on
a thorn for 63 years.
Ok, this one is a bit of a reach but.....hear goes.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the bulb and two more to fill a bathtub with brightly-painted machinery of some sort.
Hope that will cheer someone up!
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the bulb and two more to fill a bathtub with brightly-painted machinery of some sort.
Hope that will cheer someone up!
Llama songhere we go meristar somethings that never fails to cheer me up, tis kinda weird though so be warned 
you will have plenty of time to have kids if your healthy
and
your gonna have a life span of around 5000 years or live forever
Hope your happy
and
your gonna have a life span of around 5000 years or live forever
Hope your happy
Subby has arrived to entertain the masses.
*subby puts on his jester costume and starts to jig*
How many UM posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
1.... But the others will debate the existance of the lightbulb, drawing on personal experiance...whilst others will dismiss this whole lightbulb thing as nothing more then an illusion...
Ok, at least i tryed to be original....
*Decides just to stick to jigging*
*subby puts on his jester costume and starts to jig*
How many UM posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
1.... But the others will debate the existance of the lightbulb, drawing on personal experiance...whilst others will dismiss this whole lightbulb thing as nothing more then an illusion...
Ok, at least i tryed to be original....
*Decides just to stick to jigging*
Meristar
I turned 30 *cough* on the 28th Jan (sharing my birthday with Nxt). 30 for me is no different from being 29 except now it gets exciting!
I have been told that the 30's are the best time of your life, so bring it on! Don't do a Bridget Jones on us! you have lots of time to find Mr Right and have babies. It will happen when you least expect it.
Have a huge party and celebrate!
Lottie
I turned 30 *cough* on the 28th Jan (sharing my birthday with Nxt). 30 for me is no different from being 29 except now it gets exciting!
I have been told that the 30's are the best time of your life, so bring it on! Don't do a Bridget Jones on us! you have lots of time to find Mr Right and have babies. It will happen when you least expect it.
Have a huge party and celebrate!
Lottie
QUOTE(Subtemperate @ Feb 9 2005, 10:33 AM)
Subby has arrived to entertain the masses.
*subby puts on his jester costume and starts to jig*
How many UM posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
1.... But the others will debate the existance of the lightbulb, drawing on personal experiance...whilst others will dismiss this whole lightbulb thing as nothing more then an illusion...
Ok, at least i tryed to be original....
*Decides just to stick to jigging*
[right][snapback]481022[/snapback][/right]
*subby puts on his jester costume and starts to jig*
How many UM posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
1.... But the others will debate the existance of the lightbulb, drawing on personal experiance...whilst others will dismiss this whole lightbulb thing as nothing more then an illusion...
Ok, at least i tryed to be original....
*Decides just to stick to jigging*
[right][snapback]481022[/snapback][/right]
That was very, very good. It cheered me up!
Okay, here's one of my favorite "blonde" jokes. Poor blondes.
Anyway, an ambulance was summoned to the scene of an attempted suicide.
They arrive at a three-story building where a blonde had tried to jump to her death.
She lays on the sidewalk, battered and bruised and barely alive. One paramedic kneels next to her and asks, "Why, why did you jump?"
The blonde opens her lips and whispers, "The box said, Maxi Pad with WINGS."
At age 28 I was miserable I thought I should have been married and had kids by then and this is a man talking lol. I wasnt where I "thought" (keyword) I should be. It took my Mother (bless her heart) to remind all I had done so far and the great achievments I had done. Once I did so and I let go of my obcession with where I "thought" I should be things fell into place I am now happily married with five beautiful children.
meristar,
a lot of wise words here, burnsy hit upon it best, don't look at what you don't have, look at what you do have.
i remember my 30th birthday, single, depressed cause i was getting older, i went out and had drinks with some friends who were in their forties, that for starters made me feel better, they kept calling me the young one.
but back to what burnsey said, you've got no responsibilites, nothing to tie you down, that in itself is a huge bonus, so get out there and travel, do whatever you want, you're free and that's the best thing there is.
a lot of wise words here, burnsy hit upon it best, don't look at what you don't have, look at what you do have.
i remember my 30th birthday, single, depressed cause i was getting older, i went out and had drinks with some friends who were in their forties, that for starters made me feel better, they kept calling me the young one.
but back to what burnsey said, you've got no responsibilites, nothing to tie you down, that in itself is a huge bonus, so get out there and travel, do whatever you want, you're free and that's the best thing there is.
To All Those who HAVE cheered me up,
I haven't read a single post without smiling ( and some
without laughing !!)- My repertoire of jokes etc has
certainly increased just before I turn 30 so thank you
for that ( I think ?!)
Some EXCELLENT suggestions though I've noticed not
many "good deeds"- though replying to this thread
is a good deed as far as I'm concerned so those without
good deeds you're all exonerated !!
To BURNSIDE I loved your pictures and the point you made !!
But I've one question are you like the God of this site as
everywhere I go I see your name....You're omnipresent !!
A little note to those who made "blond jokes" - it's a
good darn job I'm NOT blond wouldn't you say !!
Anyway once again to ALL, Thank you VERY much
and I'm feeling a bit better because of you ALL.
Best Wishes
Take Care
Meri
I haven't read a single post without smiling ( and some
without laughing !!)- My repertoire of jokes etc has
certainly increased just before I turn 30 so thank you
for that ( I think ?!)
Some EXCELLENT suggestions though I've noticed not
many "good deeds"- though replying to this thread
is a good deed as far as I'm concerned so those without
good deeds you're all exonerated !!
To BURNSIDE I loved your pictures and the point you made !!
But I've one question are you like the God of this site as
everywhere I go I see your name....You're omnipresent !!
A little note to those who made "blond jokes" - it's a
good darn job I'm NOT blond wouldn't you say !!
Anyway once again to ALL, Thank you VERY much
and I'm feeling a bit better because of you ALL.
Best Wishes
Take Care
Meri
If there's a tourist season here, why can't we shoot them?
QUOTE
To BURNSIDE I loved your pictures and the point you made !!
But I've one question are you like the God of this site as
everywhere I go I see your name....You're omnipresent !!
But I've one question are you like the God of this site as
everywhere I go I see your name....You're omnipresent !!
I'm happy i brought a smile to your face.
The god of this site? haha no, that would be Saruman the admin. I'm just some guy who's job is boring, and as such, has alot of posts. But thanks.
Meristar, go to this thread for a quick cheer up.
http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum...=0&#entry481880
http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum...=0&#entry481880
I'm awful at cheering people up.... but i bet little hopping green dudes have to make you smile
umm 
smile yet?
smile yet?
[edit: removed all 6 posts of spam. MJB, read the forum rules, #1 in this case]
Once again Thanks to ALL my "CHEER-ER UPPERS"
Just to let you know (sad as it may be) I've "saved" all your
kind and funny replies so that if and when I feel down in the
future I can re-read them and have my heart warmed and my laughter tickled all over again.
My "Big Day" tomorrow (Friday) and I'm not dreading it half as
much because of you guys.
THANKS and LOVE
Meri
Just to let you know (sad as it may be) I've "saved" all your
kind and funny replies so that if and when I feel down in the
future I can re-read them and have my heart warmed and my laughter tickled all over again.
My "Big Day" tomorrow (Friday) and I'm not dreading it half as
much because of you guys.
THANKS and LOVE
Meri
your welcome always here to help a member
meristar.. life is not made on the husband and amount of kids you have.. and who's to say you will be happy with them anyway? go out, go crazy and have a blast.. after all, its your day.. and your birthday
and dammit.. if you want to run down the street, competely naked, with a rubber glove on your head yelling "im a chicken" well you go and do it
i do hope you have a great birthday tho.. you never know.. when doing the chicken thing.. you may find the man of your dreams
*buk buk..BAH-BAAWWWWK*
and dammit.. if you want to run down the street, competely naked, with a rubber glove on your head yelling "im a chicken" well you go and do it
i do hope you have a great birthday tho.. you never know.. when doing the chicken thing.. you may find the man of your dreams
*buk buk..BAH-BAAWWWWK*
QUOTE
if you want to run down the street, competely naked, with a rubber glove on your head yelling "im a chicken" well you go and do it
I thought you were familiar Tigger
lol
well... i do get around in some strange costumes..
i am also known as guy (gal?) incognito
i am also known as guy (gal?) incognito
Oh well, could be worse! I’m 31, and HAVE been married twice, and am now single! (No children). I’m on permanent holiday, because I work from home. And I too live in cold wet, miserable England, but I lived in Mexico for 4 years, and for some unbeknown reason moved back to England only 9 months ago! Apart from that I love life to the full, and am always grateful that my life is under my control and enjoying every minute of it.
Sorry that you are feeling sad and rejected. But my reasoning is; if you don’t have the down days, then you don’t enjoy the good ones!
Sorry that you are feeling sad and rejected. But my reasoning is; if you don’t have the down days, then you don’t enjoy the good ones!
Happy Birthday Meristar!! Hope you have a great day.
Happy Birthday! Welcome to a great time in your life!!
Happy Birthday...
we hope this cheers you up. no need to thank us.
Moe, that is truly scary. I will have nightmares all week. 
ROFL @ Moe pic. 
burnsy is right- you dont want kids! Go out tonight, pull a hottie, and good things may come!
Just listen to Family Reunion or I Wanna F--k a Dog by Blink 182. I swear you will laugh so much.
Just listen to Family Reunion or I Wanna F--k a Dog by Blink 182. I swear you will laugh so much.
QUOTE(moe eubleck @ Feb 12 2005, 01:51 AM)
we hope this cheers you up. no need to thank us.
[right][snapback]484473[/snapback][/right]
Y'know I thought I looked really PRETTY in that photo
(my very very BESTEST infact) and everyone's saying
it's scary....I wanted Cheering up NOT bringing down
even further !!
Well I'm now 30+ 1 day and I haven't spontaneously
combusted so maybe it's not so bad !! I had a pretty good
day though I didn't pull a "hottie" but maybe that's 'coz
my peach bikini (see photo) was in the wash, ah well....
Anyway THANKS for ALL the replies and "Happy Birthday"s.
-You guys are the BEST and I've never even met ya !!
LUV U ALL
Meri
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