# You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that typeface."

# You set up an automatic rerouting of your e-mail to your pager.

# You get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 (or whatever hardware you were raised on), and use large amounts of money/time trying to track one down.

# You are wearing ten year old spectacles, made of steel.

# You realize you _never_ cook, eating only take-away pizza.

# You check your web access_page more than once a day.

# You seriously consider devoting a web page to your computer. (Not the brand, mind you, but the actual computer itself)

# You have more e-mail addresses than you do pairs of shoes.

# You get depressed when you get less than 10 e-mail msgs a day.

# You already know what you want to write both Master's papers and your dissertation about, and you just graduated from College.

# You can discuss the philosophical and physical differences among the tangos.

# Although vaguely insulted by pocket-protector jokes, you still find them funny.

# You plan to get two Masters degrees.

# You start getting paranoid you aren't getting all your e-mail.(If you have sent me e-mail, and there seems to be no life from me, try again.)

# Someone asks you what languages you know, and you reply Upper Slavic, French, Esperanto and C.

# You spend more than 10 minutes contemplating how traffic lights work.

# You can talk for hours about how, in 25 years, the whole country won't have E-Mail addresses.

# You design detailed floorplans before moving all of your furniture around.

# You've created a new variety of rose.

# If anyone has said to you: "You are Jhayden?!?! I see you on the Vax all the time!" (Insert the appropirate substitutions, as appropriate.)

# You set up your own newsgroup.

# If you know the correct pronunciation of Tex, Linux, and TCL.

# If you paid $6000 for your computer and $500 for your car.

# There's a newsgroup dedicated to you because of your netly activities.

# Someone mentions the Q Continuum, and you know what that means.

# You seriously consider scanning in a picture of a squirrel, just to bug Maryam. (Got the nice picture; am using it for blackmail.)

# You get really excited that your mixer has a dough hook.

# Everyone in the neighborhood brings you (to) their computers to figure out what is wrong.

# You can hold detailed technical conversations in a second language.

# You are on the Obscure Software and Computer Crap Junk Mailing Lists

# You can explain how AppleTalk Networks work.

# Sleep and nightime are no longer irrevocably linked

# You arrange to get e-mail access no matter where you go.

# WAIS is your life.

# You walk past a Con and people know who you are.

# You have a definite philosphy of stacking wood for fires.

# You hear the word "Scuzzy" and the first thing you think of is not an adjective.

# You went to a high school where the only team with a winning record was the Chess team.

# You rig up elaborate mechanisms to do really basic tasks.

# You know about USENET cultures in groups you don't even read.

# You put your pathfinder on the web

# You get REALLY excited when people from countries with limited access to the 'net are frequent visitors to your pages.

# You don't hand in final papers unless they've been formatted on a desktop publishing program.

# You write web pages about your web pages.

# Your favorite part of Geometry was proving theorems.

# You've ever contemplated collecting graters.

# You can remember your web address faster than your phone number.

# You'll spend a long time customizing a computer you'll use for one day to the absolute pinacle of comfort, but you won't bother to spend two hours sewing up a skirt, and wear the damn thing sarong style.

# You do your best work after 11 p.m.

# You work in a building where you need a badge to move between floors.

# You calculate the odds of getting one of the primo parking spaces in relation to your apartment, factoring in time, weather, season, etc, and are accurate over 80% of the time.

# You can count the number of moderately good hacker/computer dude type films on one hand. (I promised not to froth at the mouth when I went to go see The Net -- I failed miserably. )

# You've bought one of those license plate holders on which you can have your URL or E-Mail address embossed.

# You head straight past People and the always entertaining Weekly World News for this month's Computer Shopper

# You can track the geek gene through your family tree.

# You froth at the mouth when someone talks about the "Information Superhighway."

# You are a member of the USENET elite, invoked in posts in threads to which you have not posted.

# You can sing Tom Lehrer's element song.

# Not only is your computer in the center of your room, it's set up so as allow 'netting from your couch, as well as your desk chair.

# You arrange your jobs so you can telecommute.

# You organize your CDs, so the tops all face upward, alphabetically, or by record label (If you do more than one of these, you are an Anal-Retentive Geek).

# You spend a lot of time figuring out which of 100 adult goldfish are the most fertile, have the strongest genes, and combined to produce tiny little goldfish.

# You carry an 88 mb removable cartridge to and from work.

# You can sing any song from Grease 2. If you do the hand movements while singing, you should get out more.

# You plot to get your grandmother on E-mail.

# You've ever contemplated devoting a web page to World News Now, Kevin, Thalia, Bill, Shielah, Nissan, Okido, Asha, Dick Schapp, Willis, or, natch, Barry.