Right after this I'll post a poem I wrote for a... well... someone that I know...
Cya!
Full Version: Need some reviews
Hey guys I need some reviews for some short stories/songs/poems/artwork that I'm sending to a publicing company but I would like some outside opinions, too. If you guys could read them, I'd be really thankful. I'm working on this series of short stories about these vampires, werewolves, ESP's, and sprites, but most of them aren't done yet, so I'll post them later.
Right after this I'll post a poem I wrote for a... well... someone that I know...
Cya!
Right after this I'll post a poem I wrote for a... well... someone that I know...
Cya!
Remembrance
I sit upon my bed
Thinking of the next time
That I see you
And your beauty
I remember when we had met
That day
I saw you
Sitting by yourself
All alone
With no one there
I tried to comfort you
I went over and said hi
You looked up with bloodshot eyes
And cried
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
I remember when I could look at you
And you were happy
You had
A positive influence
Everyone wanted to be just like you
With beauty and charm
And the grace of a swan
You were such a pretty thing back then
So far
And now
You’re even more beautiful so don’t cry
Just lay your head on me and everything
Well be
Alright and you can once again can be happy
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
I still look back (I still look back)
At the past with you (at the past with you)
By my side (by my side)
Smiling away at me (at me)
I know that you once were a happy soul
Just put your faith in me and watch the gladness return
I know that I may help you
But now
Just trust in me and you will pull through
I know I can save you from this place
Give you back the life you once had adored
All of the pain will be forgotten
And I can see your pretty smile again (again)
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
In the end
I find you sitting with me
My arm around you
Caressing your head
You’re once again happy
I can now see you smile
You may wonder the reason behind what I do
It’s because
In truth
I love you
Copyright Dylan Kilby
I sit upon my bed
Thinking of the next time
That I see you
And your beauty
I remember when we had met
That day
I saw you
Sitting by yourself
All alone
With no one there
I tried to comfort you
I went over and said hi
You looked up with bloodshot eyes
And cried
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
I remember when I could look at you
And you were happy
You had
A positive influence
Everyone wanted to be just like you
With beauty and charm
And the grace of a swan
You were such a pretty thing back then
So far
And now
You’re even more beautiful so don’t cry
Just lay your head on me and everything
Well be
Alright and you can once again can be happy
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
I still look back (I still look back)
At the past with you (at the past with you)
By my side (by my side)
Smiling away at me (at me)
I know that you once were a happy soul
Just put your faith in me and watch the gladness return
I know that I may help you
But now
Just trust in me and you will pull through
I know I can save you from this place
Give you back the life you once had adored
All of the pain will be forgotten
And I can see your pretty smile again (again)
No! I won’t let it happen again!
Anymore!
I see you
In pain all around
I don’t want anything to happen
To you
That’s my goal
My purpose on Earth
To protect you
In the end
I find you sitting with me
My arm around you
Caressing your head
You’re once again happy
I can now see you smile
You may wonder the reason behind what I do
It’s because
In truth
I love you
Copyright Dylan Kilby
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