Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping..." Now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Why do you have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier!!"

Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

LOL, this is me all over, lol.

not to mention everyone looks good doing it and laughing is allways in style.

I think there brill.

Laughing makes me feel good- and hopefully those around me feel good.

yeah, laughing is good.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!...thats funny and so true...

I like the "don't argue with an idiot..." and the "swearing on the Bible..."

Haha Funny made me laugh....

The Ten Commandments are not a set of laws. Therefore, they should not be displayed in front of a federal building.

Cute stuff.