my uncle abner
has a peg leg and wood teeth
we dont like his sneer
Full Version: {un}holy haiku
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we don't like his sneer,
He's got a big grunty thirst,
and his smile smells.
He's got a big grunty thirst,
and his smile smells.
and his smile smells
like twice cooked cabbage maggots
dont jog behind me
like twice cooked cabbage maggots
dont jog behind me
Don't jog behind me
It's rude to stare at my bum
Can't you look elsewhere?
It's rude to stare at my bum
Can't you look elsewhere?
Can't you look elsewhere?
There's a hidden mystery
This is my first clue.
There's a hidden mystery
This is my first clue.
This is my first clue:
A fish, a fish, where's the fish
Do you understand?
A fish, a fish, where's the fish
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
You don't let me do nothing!
Mummy you are mean!
You don't let me do nothing!
Mummy you are mean!
Mummy you are mean!
Give me back my candy, now!
*throws temper tantrum*
Give me back my candy, now!
*throws temper tantrum*
*throws temper tantrum*
I'll kill you right now!
*gets out a sharp knife*
I'll kill you right now!
*gets out a sharp knife*
*gets out sharp knife*
and what if I killed him then
would I be happy?
and what if I killed him then
would I be happy?
Would I be happy?
with a one legged poodle?
*hits the pinata*
with a one legged poodle?
*hits the pinata*
*hits the pinata*
the darned thing won't break, oh no!
I need a big stick.
the darned thing won't break, oh no!
I need a big stick.
I need a big stick.
The Big Stick Club is meeting.
I needs me big stick!
The Big Stick Club is meeting.
I needs me big stick!
I needs me big stick!
I is ejookated, ya?
Big stick go bam bam!
I is ejookated, ya?
Big stick go bam bam!
Big stick go bam, bam!
Look over there to the left!
Yes, the number's shag!
Look over there to the left!
Yes, the number's shag!
yes, the number's shag!
shag? shake, wiggle? obsolete
numbers uncertain.
shag? shake, wiggle? obsolete
numbers uncertain.
Numbers uncertain,
What the heck was I watching?
Sat on the remote.
What the heck was I watching?
Sat on the remote.
Sat on the remote
island, deep in fujiian
seas, I dream of sleep
island, deep in fujiian
seas, I dream of sleep
Seas, I dream of sleep
I will pass out before long
Some people can't drink
I will pass out before long
Some people can't drink
Some people can't drink
of life fully, unhappy
they always remain
of life fully, unhappy
they always remain
they always remain
hidden way under the bed
those nasty gym socks
hidden way under the bed
those nasty gym socks
those nasty gym socks
hidden way under the bed
(I am such a cheat!)
hidden way under the bed
(I am such a cheat!)
(I am such a cheat)
like gag me with a spoon! shaa!
a talking pimple!
like gag me with a spoon! shaa!
a talking pimple!
a talking pimple
a hairy mole and a wart
go into a bar...
a hairy mole and a wart
go into a bar...
Go into a bar...
Order a shot of whiskey
And toast my post count!
Order a shot of whiskey
And toast my post count!
and toast my post count
thank the lord for the jokes thread
wouldn't you agree?
thank the lord for the jokes thread
wouldn't you agree?
Wouldn't you agree?
That my post count needs a toast...
I won't toast myself!
That my post count needs a toast...
I won't toast myself!
I won't toast myself!
without butter and honey
I am just hard bread.
without butter and honey
I am just hard bread.
I won't toast myself
Lets give Joc a toast instead
Will you drink to that?
Lets give Joc a toast instead
Will you drink to that?
Will you drink to that?
Chivas Regal to toast you.
Post drunken haiku!
Chivas Regal to toast you.
Post drunken haiku!
Post drunken haiku!
I dank the bole hottle (burp)
Thak yous merry huch!
I dank the bole hottle (burp)
Thak yous merry huch!
"Thak yous merry huch!"
says joc, but he didn't share
with Lila and Dot
says joc, but he didn't share
with Lila and Dot
With Lila and Dot..
I will share all that I own!
Have a drink on Me!
I will share all that I own!
Have a drink on Me!
Have a drink on Me!
If you're in the Crown tonight
Maybe we'll play darts
If you're in the Crown tonight
Maybe we'll play darts
maybe we'll play darts
maybe some crib and then pool
a triatholon
maybe some crib and then pool
a triatholon
a triatholon
Of Gumbiss grooving nannies!
ready, set, GOGO!
Of Gumbiss grooving nannies!
ready, set, GOGO!
ready, set, GOGO
Lets go hit the sunset strip
gamble all night long
Lets go hit the sunset strip
gamble all night long
gamble all night long
with a pair of cheating bats.
dont sit on my hand!
with a pair of cheating bats.
dont sit on my hand!
Don't sit on my hand
fingernail polish is wet!
smudges on your pants
fingernail polish is wet!
smudges on your pants
smudges on your pants
and your shirt is torn to shreds
Set the town on fire?
and your shirt is torn to shreds
Set the town on fire?
Set the town on fire?
Why do such a naughty thing?
Now stop! Hammer time!
Why do such a naughty thing?
Now stop! Hammer time!
now stop! hammer time!
can't touch this! but i just did.
i'll touch it again!
can't touch this! but i just did.
i'll touch it again!
Ill touch it again.
if this will please the goddess
fan you and feed grapes
if this will please the goddess
fan you and feed grapes
fan you and feed grapes
to the Samurai Rango
he gives me candy
to the Samurai Rango
he gives me candy
he gives me candy
under a canopy bed
breezy curtain jive
under a canopy bed
breezy curtain jive
breezy curtain jive
just what i needed right now
don't you think so, man?
just what i needed right now
don't you think so, man?
Don't you think so, man?
I look pretty in this dress.
Do I look fat, sir?
I look pretty in this dress.
Do I look fat, sir?
do i look fat sir
said ducky to his pal dave
uh huh, and you're bald
said ducky to his pal dave
uh huh, and you're bald
uh huh, and you're bald
Why do you shave that down there?
It looks kind of wierd.
Why do you shave that down there?
It looks kind of wierd.
It looks kind of weird,
That's why we called him Johnny.
Better than Ezra.
That's why we called him Johnny.
Better than Ezra.
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