Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,
you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong
hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both . If you already
know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example,
is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.



((( I got this in an E mail and could not help but to share)))

Was about time! I'm tired of all those "what a perfect guy would do" junk mail's. Thank you for sharing Ms. Innocence!

That just about covers every bloke I know and nearly every situation and converstation I have ever had with a bloke.

Top notch UI

"Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we."

PFFFTTT!!!

As intelligent as my husband is he can get lost just going to the mailbox.

awsome

You married him so what does that say about you?

rofl he got you there

Hahaha.. thought all you guys would like that.
Ive come to understand that if my husband dosent tell me i look bad.. then i must look good..lol

Why do guys go around itching their butts or groin? Reminds me of a monkey!

Bravo, Undefined_innocence! Thanks for sending that along.

What does that say about me?

I did say he is intelligent...he just has no sense of direction.

Oh thank you thank you thank you.. there are several more where that one came from so i guess ill go dig them up