MALE TRAINING SEMINARS




1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You, Too, Can Do Housework

3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

4. How to Fill an Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money

6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques: formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks"

8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook

10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You: The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons to Give Flowers

15. How to Stay Awake in Public

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom

17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb

18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try

19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower

20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please

21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down: formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet"

22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms

23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull

24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex

27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes

28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too

29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home

30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

31. Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked"

32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works

33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary

34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary

35. Techniques for calling home

PMS is just an excuse for being a "female dog"

you wish!

your just jealous

do it your self

huh?

"tits" is a wonderful word

Okay.. THINK Twilight.. IT.
was was IT when you were always growing up?
What is usually more awake then yourself in the mornings? IT!
Haha..

[QUOTE] Combatting Stupidity [/QUOTE]

HAH!I'm not...that stupid

[QUOTE]. You, Too, Can Do Housework [/QUOTE]

How much you want to bet?

[QUOTE]PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut [/QUOTE]

...

[QUOTE] How to Fill an Ice Tray [/QUOTE]

Whats an ice tray?

[QUOTE]We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money
[/QUOTE]
That explains the slaps...

[QUOTE]Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am [/QUOTE]
What about 3am?

[QUOTE]Wonderful Laundry Techniques: formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks" [/QUOTE]
Dn't worry, no danger of me washing anything

[QUOTE]Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception [/QUOTE]

...

[QUOTE]Get a Life: Learn to Cook [/QUOTE]

I can do toast just fine

[QUOTE]How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong [/QUOTE]

Wrong? I'm never wrong

[QUOTE]Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right [/QUOTE]

I Cun Spull

[QUOTE]Understanding Your Financial Incompetence [/QUOTE]

I dun't get it

[QUOTE]You: The Weaker Sex [/QUOTE]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[QUOTE]Reasons to Give Flowers [/QUOTE]

Apoligys?

[QUOTE]How to Stay Awake in Public [/QUOTE]
Sing really loudly

[QUOTE]Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom [/QUOTE]

Not even if you're drunk?

[QUOTE]Garbage: Getting it to the Curb [/QUOTE]
Thats what the bins for

[QUOTE]You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try [/QUOTE]

Naturally, who needs a computer?

[QUOTE]How to Put the Toilet Lid Down: formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet"
[/QUOTE]
What is it with the goddamn toilet seat?

[QUOTE]
How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost
[/QUOTE]

A map

[QUOTE]The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency [/QUOTE]

But the tvs so far....

[QUOTE]Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex [/QUOTE]
Flowers again?

[QUOTE]Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too [/QUOTE]

I KNEW IT!

[QUOTE]You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver [/QUOTE]

Mental note- don't pass test

[QUOTE]Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked"
[/QUOTE]

I don't look like Keira knightly, so it must be mel!

[QUOTE]Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works [/QUOTE]
Sure
[QUOTE]The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary [/QUOTE]

Oh please. Whats the bet you cold go out side and find a girl who says tits in minutes?

I'm expecting marks

On a serious note, i think i actually learned a few things from this

hahaha morning wood?

OMG.. i am nearly in tears here, Fox, your killing me!! LMAO!!

And yes dear Twilight. A morning Wood.


LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO

Killing in a good way or a bad way.....

btw, can you add an extra creit class on? how 2 use [QUOTE]

Who comes home At 4AM? It takes at least 20 minutes to get home after last call
jk.
Nice list though.

morning Wood could be useful

lmao... No extra ceadit classes! Men dont deserve extra credit. You all do good getting credit at all.

okay... dont tackle me.. im only kidding. I love men.. hehehe.

And Universal.. youll be suprised at how a 20 min drive can last about 2 hours when your drunk and looking for something to get into!!! hahaha!

I said at least
How thunk do you drink I am?

OUCH!

8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
ummm I am the single father here... mother is not around... yeah...

9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook
lol. I am the best cook ever...

14. Reasons to Give Flowers
for sex?

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom
give me fifteen good reasons...

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
no way, the remote is MINE!

33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary
ok but I am still using the "C word"...

Im jelous over the toilet thing...wish I could go anywhere I wanted.

I love the word titmouse... good points though TD

Thats so enlightening!

(although my Hubby is actually a really good cook - but the rest are spot on )

you can

yep

Alrighty; learn the ancient art of self-control and we have a deal.



Funny how you never hear men declearing themselve the stronger sex, but always hear woman labelling men as the weaker.

Good one Innocence.
Altough I don't think the guys like it that much, cos half of it's true.

No it's not. It's just a joke, like the retalation Seeking made. None of it is true.

Now Walken, I don't think you should go so far as to say none of it is true. Some of it may be true for some guys and some not.

Yes, I am jealous that guys can go practically anywhere they want, especially while camping. There is nothing worse than squatting in the dark, in the woods when you can't see what might be crawling a couple of feet away.

Lol, actually, although we CAN, many DON'T. I for instance, do not use public toilets, unless I REALLY have to, or go 'outdoors'. Likewise woman CAN, But most DON'T.

women can pee standing.

Yeah, duh, if they are wearing a dress or can completely take their pants off which often is not convenient because there are other people around.

so? just take them off. XD

Okay... i guess under come positioned cirumstances women can stand and pee. BUT... WE dont have the pleasure of still not getting it all over ourselves.

like many weird things that can be learned too. you dont think a guy is born with perfect aming do you?

34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary


But sneakily dropping one and then waiting until i roll over ,pull the covers up to my chin and get a snout full BEFORE warning me is acceptable?

Okay.. but your born with better 'tools' to start training with!

MALE TRAINING SEMINARS




1. Combatting Stupidity

- huh?

2. You, Too, Can Do Housework

no, I dont wanna!

3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

-tell me bout it (has flashback )

4. How to Fill an Ice Tray

-I use an Ice dispencer,besides even a chimp can fill an ice tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money

-why? all you will do is go out and spend the money on ugly clothes, plus another pair of shoes and/or purses that you allready own a million of!


6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am

- "da**it! you told me you wernt gonna overdrink! :sigh: lets get you to bed...and toilet hugging"

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques: formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks"

-I dont do any laundry,to much complication involved

8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

-oh, thank god

9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook

-I'll have you know I make the best sandwiches,Grilled cheese,and Ramen noodles around

10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong

-who said I'm wrong (looks around)

11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right

-hoo karres,I'll speill bad if I want too!

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

-Hey! just because I have lost 10 jobs from alchohal abuse,it in no way makes me finansheeally inncompettent (slurs words)

13. You: The Weaker Sex

-what makes me weaker?

14. Reasons to Give Flowers

-to shut her up...for a minute

15. How to Stay Awake in Public

- where in public am I?

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom

-if you have no other option it is acceptable, and its a great way to get back at people you hate

17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb

-have no problems there

18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try

-no, not really

19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower

-actually the EMHO (early morning h***-on) is easy to get rid of,just yell and scream at it "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!" . that should work


20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please

-like the sound of that

21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down: formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet"

-why?with good aim,you dont even need to lift it up

22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms

-I dont like sports,my weekends are filled with better things like beer,TNA,TV,etc...


23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull

-not all of them are bull,thats bull!

24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost

-"call on the cell phone if we get lost,okay" what a waste of Minutes!

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

-I could care less about the remote control

26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex

-hey! I have ideas other than sex. but antique and flower shopping is not on my list!

27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes

-who said I have bad posture?

28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too

- you obviously never met my parents in-laws

29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home

-whom is the Male bonding taking in part with?

30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

-its the women who cant drive

31. Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked"

-I have the body of a god...but unfortunatly that god is Buddah

32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works

-who said I didnt?

33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary

-why? I like the word

34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary

-good,because either way the gas is goin know where

35. Techniques for calling home

-call home

WE CAN DO THAT?
I should pay more attention to your lessons.
btw Walken, i figure the weaker sex thing was a lighthearted, jokey kinda thing

In short, calm down

31. Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked"

-I have the body of a god...but unfortunatly that god is Buddah

______LMAO!!! See.. Ahhhh... A man without selective eyesight.. what will become of the world now!!!?????___________ j/k... that is funny though!

Janiel OWNS

14. Reasons to Give Flowers
Kiss-ass technique #1125
JANIEL!! lmao!
YOu sound almost too good to be true. Your sure your of the male gender?

Yes, I'm sure. As I've always said: I'm just that damned good.

Yeah yeah yea, you and that DARNED mezmorizing women there. Sometimes i wonder about you. hahaha. j/k.

No, no, its not just you who wonders



LMAO hes got me beat

....Cooking? COOK?...yah gotta' be kiddin' me.

House work?! seriously?

.........

Rofl, good point.

My goodness. Poor poor men, getting it just thrown at them in this thread.
hahaha.
But you gotta admit, at least SOME of fit is true, and i can name a few people for whom about 90% is true.
Funny.

Hey! Thats unfair! I don't count as 90% of the population!
Question, why isn't there a girl classes thread

lol lets make one

There actually IS ONE! But it didnt get looked at near as much as this one. Admit it, its more fun to dog on the male gender then it is the female.

no its not

Yes HUH!!!

I find it fun to mock the stereotypes of both genders.
It's always a good laugh to make fun of yourself...try it!

Janiel, if I weren't married you'd be mine.....

Janiel isn't married. He can be yours.

and hes just a teen

I know how old he is but I still think he's adorable.