Full Version: McDonald's job application form
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's
fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying
here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer
and
we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It stunk.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
http://www.webpresspro.com/funnyfarm/mcdon...application.htm
hahaha!! I've read that before.. thought it was halarious!!
That is a real application form? That is so damn funny!! good post
Yeah, I've read it before too, but it's still HA-lerious.
Lol, I can't believe they hired him. 
Hell, I'd have hired him too!
lmao
I am amased that they hired this guy, seeing how he was bieng a smart-a**
Claim: Job seeker sends sarcastic employment application to McDonald's and is hired.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1997]
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida . . . And they hired him, because he was so honest and funny!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NAME: Greg Bulmash
[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
[DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.]
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.]
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Although very cute, this is not a real application to a fast food venue..
This satirical piece was the creation of one Greg Bulmash, a writer who posted it on his self-published Internet humor column in April of 1997 after becoming frustrated with the job-seeking process.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1997]
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida . . . And they hired him, because he was so honest and funny!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NAME: Greg Bulmash
[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
[DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.]
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.]
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Although very cute, this is not a real application to a fast food venue..
This satirical piece was the creation of one Greg Bulmash, a writer who posted it on his self-published Internet humor column in April of 1997 after becoming frustrated with the job-seeking process.
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