A list of some British mystery monsters -
1 Morgawr,
the Cornish Sea Giant, Falmouth Bay
It's a 40ft woolly whopper and seems to spook those who sight it. Reliably spotted at least twice this summer, Morgawr sounds like a plesiosaur in need of a good barber.
Sceptics say that this type of dinosaur has been extinct for 70 million years, so finding one would challenge much of what we know about evolution and the natural world. Which is exactly what happened when the bizarre "living fossil" coelacanth fish was found swimming around merrily in 1938.
Our waters are too cold for a prehistoric reptile? Well, they're too cold for barracuda, apparently, yet one was netted off Cornwall last year.
Morgawr is not a pretty sight, according to a Mrs Scott of Falmouth who, in 1975, reported seeing the monster off Pendennis Point. She described a hideous humpbacked creature with stumpy horns, and bristles down the back of a long neck.
It dived, then resurfaced with a conger eel in its jaws, which clearly beggars belief given the reluctance of congers to leave their lairs. It's probably safe to assume that Mrs Scott actually saw Morgawr munching on a big ling, which is more free-swimming and resembles a conger because of its double dorsal and extended anal fins. An easy error to make in the circumstances!
The following year a lady who identified herself only as Mary F photographed the monster, swimming off Trefusis Point. She described Morgawr as black or very dark brown, with a snake-like head and humps on the back.
There were loads of sightings in the mid-'70s. Two London bankers on a fishing trip saw a pair of monsters in the mouth of the Helford River, prompting speculation that Falmouth Bay may be home to a family of sea serpents.
There are whole books about Morgawr, and there have been so many sightings between the coast at Rosemullion Head and Toll Point that locally this stretch is called the Morgawr Mile.
With generally excellent underwater visibility off the Cornish coast, and numerous sightings close to shore, Morgawr easily tops the list for the monster-hunting diver.
2 The Stronsay Beast,
Orkney
There's something other-worldly about the Orkney Islands, with its legions of lichen-clad standing stones, which sprout from ancient barrows against the spectacular northern sky. It somehow comes as no surprise when islanders recall seeing the Stronsay Beast as calmly as if they'd been counting cattle.
Numerous reports over the past two centuries record long-necked, serpent-like sea creatures being washed ashore.
One rotting carcass, 55ft long with a neck of 10ft and a mane of bristly hair, was reported in The Orcadian in the early 1800s and was formally given a Latin name, Halsydrus pontoppidani, by the Natural History Society of Edinburgh.
Some scientists insisted that this find was no more than a rotting basking shark but the decomposing carcass alone exceeded all proportions expected of the shark species.
Live specimens of the Stronsay Beast have been reported again and again. Fishermen off Shapinsay encountered a creature with a body like a horse, covered in scales and spots, in 1902.
In 1919 five men who had been fishing in the Pentland Firth near Hoy told The Orcadian that the creature they saw could weigh up to 6 tons, with the neck alone as thick as an elephant's foreleg, sticking 5-6ft out of the water.
Then there was the lighthouse-keeper on the Pentland Skerries, John Brown, who saw a huge creature in 1937 rising 20-30ft above the surface. At least it didn't go for him.
Pity poor Alec Groundwater, a young boy sitting on a rock looking over Scapa Flow on a summer day in the 1850s. The Beast rose from the depths, flat-headed, with a wide mouth full of teeth, shaking a mane of hair. Up it reared, and tried to grab the lad's legs. After several unsuccessful attempts it dived back into the depths, rose one last time to shake its head at the terrified child, then vanished.
Divers flock to Orkney for the Scapa Flow wrecks but it's a wasted journey not to enjoy some of the scenic diving and rich sea life around the islands, too.
With the Stronsay Beast so regularly and spectacularly reported over the span of two centuries, this northern outpost must come high on the list of must-dive destinations for the serious underwater monster-spotter.
3 The Benbecula Blobster,
Western Isles
While monster-hunting on this far-flung island's shores in 1998, I was enthralled to see otters gambolling playfully in the sand dunes. If it's peace and tranquillity the modern monster craves in today's hectic world, it doesn't come any better than this.
With nothing between the western beaches and the coast of America, it's amazing what gets washed ashore. Like the body of a half-woman, half-fish, the Benbecula Maigdean-mara.
A couple of days before being beached it had been seen swimming around, until a local lad lobbed a big rock at it. Boys will be boys.
From the remains found ashore, the upper body was reported to be the size of a child of three or four, while the lower body resembled a salmon. Unfortunately that was long ago, in 1830.
The reason for my visit was much more recent - the story of teenager Louise Whitts, published by parascope.com in 1996.
She found the remains of an unknown creature, 12ft long, with diamond-shaped fins along its back, a bit like a dinosaur.
The story goes that her photographs were sent to the Hancock Museum of Natural History in Newcastle for identification, where pride is taken in being unable to unravel such mysteries. But to no avail.
This one comes in at number three because it's recent, nobody questions that it was real, and the locals are so sanguine about the existence of all sorts of weird and wonderful things off their shores that if you don't see what they've nicknamed the Blobster, you might bump into something equally outrageous.
Anybody who makes the effort to get out to Benbecula will be enthralled by the experience. Diving with a Blobster would be the icing on the cake.
4 Martin's Monster,
Martin Mere, Lancashire
It's a wildfowl nature reserve, so it's probably best not to descend unannounced on this 20 acre Lancashire site for a club weekend, but Martin Mere gives an idea of what lurks beneath inland waters.
Several years ago a manager at the site reported something the size of a small car circling just below the waterline.
Suspicions aroused, people began keeping a closer eye on the mere and were astonished to see a fully grown swan fighting against something that was trying to pull it under.
Whatever is down there is strong, because the big swan lost.
Bear in mind that a bash from a swan's wing is supposed to be fierce enough to break a grown man's legs, and the story of Martin Mere illustrates that discretion could be the better part of valour for divers investigating inland monster sightings.
Visibility at inland sites is often atrocious, but that's what makes the prospect of an unexpected encounter with something that has jaws wide enough to swallow an adult swan all the more invigorating.
So next time you're halfway up the M6, pull off the motorway and find out why the fowl at Martin Mere aren't just wild, they're livid.
5 The Kessingland Sea Serpent,
Lowestoft
Rest assured that if you see this one, you'll know about it. Reported to be up to 60ft in length and able to go like the clappers, descriptions evoke classic sea-serpent characteristics of small, snake-like head, slim body and diamond-shaped fins down the back.
The reliability of many of the witnesses is surely beyond doubt, as typified by the captain and navigating officer of a survey ship in 1923. It's 9am and the weather is bright and sunny when the serpent rises from the water just 200 yards from the ship. Survey ship captains and navigating officers simply didn't invent stories about sea serpents in the 1920s.
The most recent reference I can find is a sighting in 1978 by a walker on Kessingland beach, so it's a long shot but if it's a classic sea serpent you're after, load your camera and head for Lowestoft.
I'd suggest mask, fins and snorkel in pursuit of this high-speed specimen, to ensure maximum manoeuvrability.
6 The Canvey Creature,
Canvey Island
In 1954 the country was still shaking off the rigours of rationing, and walkers were taking in the bracing air of Canvey's beaches when they came across the corpse of an unidentifiable creature in shallow water. Apparently a marine mammal, but with feet and legs, the story goes that it completely foxed zoologists.
Cute as mystery creatures go, this one is only a few feet long, but distinctive, with reddish skin and protruding eyes.
The same year, in the same area, the Reverend Overs is said to have come across a second body, taller this time - about 4ft - and in better condition. It had large eyes, clearly defined nostrils, sharp teeth and what looked like gills, so was perhaps not a mammal after all. Again, the corpse had two legs and two feet with strange toes.
This one is interesting because of its modest size. The easy mistake to make when diving for monsters is to concentrate on finding something the size of a house, 60ft long and 6 tons in weight, but in doing so you risk overlooking juvenile or simply small specimens.
If you think you glimpse just another seal flashing past in the gloom, don't assume it's a seal, especially if you're down Canvey Island way and something tugs on your fin tips.
That's six. Do some homework and you'll easily find 60. Don't believe me? Anybody who has ever dived England's deepest lake, the eerie Wast Water in west Cumbria, knows that there's something very large and very strange down there. I saw it move off into the depths, way below me, when I was at 36m in wonderfully clear water in the early '80s.
Sceptics would say I was full of narcosis. I say I saw something the size and shape of a giraffe head off into the deep. That's seven.
When you stop laughing, consider this fact. There are little fish in Wast Water left behind by the retreat of the last Ice Age. Perhaps something higher up the food chain was left behind with them.
A monster always sounds good in the Gaelic tongue and the Welsh offer Ddraig y m'r Dyfed (the Dyfed Sea Dragon). It's well worth a look if you're diving in this part of North Wales. That's eight.
Then there is the 40ft beast that torments seal colonies off New Quay (nine) and the mysterious monster in Bala Lake is legendary (10).
We're spoilt for choice.
Wreckheads spend hours in the reference library researching lost ships. Spend a few hours investigating more animate attractions and you're bound to come up with something far more interesting.
http://www.divernet.com/biolog/1202monster.htm
