Well back in the day they use to give out condoms at the nhealth dept in a basket. No more. I guess they wanted more teens on medicaid. Tax dollars down the toilet.

Schools should not be doing that. It encourages sex. I am quite sure teens are capable of getting thier own condoms. I found a way back in the day.

Parents shouldn't tell their kids it is wrong to have sex they shouldn't encourage it either. But I will say my mom told me if you ever start having sex tell me so we can put you on the pill. I failed to listen. resulting in a child.

But I love her.

It sounds as if I am out of touch with my people here and most favor handing out condoms.

Well ideally abstinence should be taught. What better form of birth control also protects from STDs than not having sex? Hehehe, however realistically safe sex. But regardless it's a crap concept because eveyone is going to do what they want rather than what is taught to them. Sex ed should be at the discretion of parents and families not the education system. Parents are just lazy I guess.

It doesn't nessesarily encourage sex, teens are going to be doing it regardless.
It tackles a bigger problem, and that is sexually transmitted diseases.

What do you prefer, teens who are having sex and dying from it, spreading diseases to more teens, or teens who are having sex and staying alive, without killing other teens.

Burnside you forgot

Babys having babys

Mothers encouraging their own children to kill their unborn

It is awful.

Adoption is the better option.

I've always felt it a good idea to supply condoms to teens. It reduces the risks of pregnency and STDs... And you'll find, that with proper education, and not "Ok, don't ever have sex!" works better...

Hell, I'm also all for sex mentoring... I had that, and learned to enjoy sex, what to do, what guys like.. what *I* like... and it helped my self esteem greatly... I felt comfortable with myself.. and it showed. I will never forget everything my mentor taught me...

I think alot of parents were appauled when they learned the schools were giving condoms to thier kids. I agree, they will do what they want anyway.. And condoms definately help prevent unwanted situations.. This is a tough call

Sex Mentoring? Is that in the Yellow Pages?

didn't have a mentor....taught myself...explored on my own. IT works. But having a mentor would be beneficial.

YO - sex mentoring? How old were you and your "teacher"? I dont want my teen to be sex mentored. However, I am available to mentor females over the age of 18

It's a funny concept!

I don't know...sex...babys...std's....it is all so much...what has this world come to. I was 17 when I first had intercourse. I didn't even think of sex with a man when I was 12. i was playing with dolls.

I started at 20... lasted about two years before I moved to here.

*shrugs* I'd want my kid to have that option. Granted, it would start off as sex ed in the teens.. then as they grow older... and reach the legal age of concent... then can have a sex mentor. (Not supporting pedophile... before anyone even goes down that road) I think legal concent age is.. 18? Some states 16...

Anyways... it is to each thier own. And I would leave that option open. They don't have to take it, but I will encourage it.. as would I what 101 did... exploring thierselves...

I was married and had my first child when I was 17. I so easily could've become a statistic, but I'm still married to the same guy and we have 2 awesome boys. I have no regrets.

** I posted this on the great grandma had twins thread, but it applies here, too.

To expand a little, I was fortunate to have a very supporting family and I was mature enough to handle the responsibility. My son is 14 and he knows what happened, and I am so grateful that he can admit he has no desire to be a father for a long, long time. Keeping the snake in the cage might be another story, but I shall burn that bridge when I get there.

I don't think children should have sex at a real young age. It isn't something that is easy to understand. Why do children want to have sex so young. attention mainly. Nothing bad. But this is why you give your kids attention. Not always yelling and screaming at them because they are bad.

I didn't forget, the thought never crossed my mind. Condoms stop pregnancies, so again a reason why it's good to hand them out. After that, it's up to the parents to educate the teen as to why they shouldn't be having sex in the first place until 16-17.

Adoption is a different issue that is too far off topic for this thread.

What is sex mentoring? It's something I don;'t think we have over here, or at least I've never heard of

@ burnside agreed

Thats when you volunteer to teach a fine little cutie the art of sex.. How do i get that job?

Aye... that's where the importance of sex ed comes in... so if they really *do* want to have sex.. they know what they're getting into.. though if you teach abstenence along side with sex ed.. then that might lower the need for them to have it.

Uh For Rizzle I think the sex mentors have degrees in this area. Sorry it isn't just for laymen.

I dont no if its right b4 marriage, but i can tell everyone this, and im sure everyone agress haha.. it feels just as good before and just as good after.. so why not =).

Dang 101.. I guess i will have to keep my day job.

Wow, what a question.

I'm a Christian and believe that sex is for two people who love each other within the confines of marriage. Did I have sex before marriage? Yes. Yep, I sinned. That's one thing about Christians--most of us are sinners. If you find one that says they aren't a sinner, then they are a liar, too.

However, for some reason, I waited until I met the man who was going to be my husband. I had several boyfriends beforehand, and had ample opportunity to do the deed (and boy, did I REALLY want to do the deed), but something just told me to wait.

I wasn't in love with my first boyfriend, though I loved him as a friend, and I just couldn't imagine having his children--and that kept me from having sex with him for some reason.

The second boyfriend I wanted terribly. I was completely obsessed with him and thought I had found the love of my life. But I wouldn't let him--and I don't know why. It's a good thing, too, because that would have ended terribly.

Then I had two other relationships that were--well--weird. They left me emotionally, but not physically, scarred.

Then I met the man who is my husband. We waited for 7 months. Then we both realized we were meant to be married--and at that moment, it was like we WERE married. Then we had sex. Every chance we got.

It's been 17 years now, and we have had good times and bad times. (We're having a really bad time now.) But isn't that marriage?

I still think, ideally, that sex is for two people who love each other within the confines of marriage. Besides the moral implications, I think it is the safest and least painful way to go. If I had had sex with all those "wrong" guys, I'm sure I would have many more battle scars than I have right now.

One thing I know for sure. I would never judge anyone else on this matter, that's God's business. I just suggest that love be involved. Recreational sex can really harm your soul and your self-esteem. (And yes, I know this from experience.)

Yep sex ed and abstinence is a plus. Parents shouldn't fear those talks. It just is good. Communication is the key.

that's decided what degree i'm going to take then ...

First you ditch that additude at the door.


Sex Mentoring isn't anything set up by any government.. nor is it a "job" I accually went out and found someone who was willing to show me things... and I was greatful for him. As I said.. it helped me learn about what I like, what felt food.. and learned to be possitive about myself. Did I have accual intercource with him? No... sadly... I was not ready for that. *shrugs* You don't have to have accual intercourse ;P

(no degrees 101 ;P It's nothing set up by the government.. and because we're so analretentive about sex.. I doubt it ever will)

Well that is a thought a sex degree in mentoring.
But I think that is great that you found someone SC I kind of feel that my ex-husband was exactly that a teacher and a friend. I am forever endebted to him because of this.

It would be nice if it could be a profession... with a strict selection, so random people who are thinking "Alright.. I get to be paid to just screw some chick/boy" are cut straight out... That is not, nore will it ever be the point.

Well not to be too offensive there Cougar, but that concept of having indecisive teens search out for a mentor that is not even state registered (or controlled for that matter) begs for problems. What the hell is some dude off the street going to teach you that you are not gonna learn for yourself? More importantly who is gonna stop some fella from taking advantage of a naive youngster? I mean you'd agree with me if I said that you were lucky that the bloke ultimately wasn't some kind of schizo right?

I think a mentor is a nice way of saying first lover. Hope you get a good one.

So it's like an officially approved thing, like going to see a counsellor, or ? That's pretty cool, sounds like a more mature attitude than we have here.

Do animals have such concerns? Do those two dogs you see going at it on the street wanna get married- I think now
I agree we are a world apart from those dogs, but we are all animals. If the believers are sinning in such a fashion, why should non believers be expected not to?

Not to be offencive.. Vox... but that's why I did say it would be nice if it was a program.. so people don't have to go out and search for someone ar random.. and those that are part of this program are certified, highly selected, trained and so forth...

I like to think I am something more than an animal.

For those who choose to be animals, have at it!

make a list of pros and cons, short term and long term, and decide for yourself.

I wish I had waited, but being the hedonist I was I didn't. I listened to people say what's been said above instead, and now I regret it, but oh well... I guess I've had my fun, whatever good that did me... which is none.

I can only give my input that it's not a good thing to do, but the choice is ultimately with each person to make.

Yeah like sex therapists have jobs why not this. It isn't prostitution at all. It is all safe. Something to look into. Although I couldn't be one. I can't have sex before marriage. Or in my case remarriage.

Yea I agree silver cougar, I mis-timed my post However I don't think it's a viable or even ethical situation since you are robbing the person of the element of experimentation. That's what the first time is all about! I think it would be very difficult to preach such a subject without getting involved. In your case you wanted to get involved with the fella and he decided not to go ahead, which is respect worthy. You dealt with it well, but how about those youngsters that do not have the maturity to deal with such situations?

well, it's not just youngsters that can't handle the gravity of a sexual relationship, there are many adults that can't either.

Exactly

Sex is involved in our tv,radio,movies,and more. we have to shelter our kids but then if they never leave our bossom they won't know what the real world is like.

indeed...

but never growing up can be a good thing too! it means not closing your mind off for one thing!

101, if you live in western society you are never going to realise what the world is really like.

This whole debate would depend on what you view sex as. Some people think sex is the very sacred bonding between people, the act of spawning, a passionate game, or something that feels good and relieves you for a while. If there are so many meanings to sex, then how can there be only one right way? Is it wrong for the people who think it is a fun game to do it with all the other people they want [willingly of course] or those who view it as the act of spawning to "spawn" with an individual they deem appropriate?

Marriage isn't the binding of the soul, marriage is just a formal ceremony. I believe there are things people can do to be one with eachother far beyond marriage, so what is the rule for that?

I personally see it hilarious that people would call sex anything else than mating in order to create a child and continue the human race or the deepest act of passion because of their feelings for one another. Animals do it all the time on a whim, and animals don't get married. Sex exists only to reproduce, and although humans give meaning to it, why do people have to label it with their own thinking or see it as something else, far from the truth, and usually something taboo to discuss?

I do agree that some shelter is needed because many people, growing up with a view of it twisted either way need to be sheltered and then shown the cold, hard truth. Otherwise, I wouldn't dare to think about what would happen.

@ Vox this is so true. Maybe I should travel.

@ The Raven I have a friend who is not married but loves this man. He and her are soul mates. They have a child together and everythuing. They choose to live together. To them this is right. And I don't think this is wrong because they practice monogamy. So it is what you believe.

Monogamy, hmm. I guess that relates to what I was trying to point out. You can still love somebody and feel that you must have sex to show your passion for that person, but again, people need to KNOW that sex only exists to create more humans.

So, your friend is not married? Do you consider people who consider themselves "soul mates" and are unwavering from one another to be married, or some sort of state of being married? Married may just be spoken of in the law, or in religious books, but other things, I think, would be equally bonding.

I'd like to travel alot more as well 101!

Chin up my sister. That bastard actually did you a favor. He proved you deserve better than a di*k like him! And take heart in this fact; It is true when they say, "If they'll cheat with ya, they'll cheat on ya!"

That red head is in for a real surprise!