I know that as Christians we are supposed to save ourselves for a husbands/wives.

But I know we all are weak...therefore this doesn't always happen

In your personal opinion is it right for you with any faith you are to have premarital sex?

And is it right to have sex with someone you love even if you aren't married?

And is it right to actually have sex with another man in God's eyes after you are divorced but the ex isn't married. Therefore when are you released.

I know some of these answers but I am curious to see what others believe is right.

And do you feel conviction once you have sex or impure thoughts?

Thanks 101

This question has been asked of me numerous times and they only explanation I can give is, you try clothes and shoes on before you buy them, right?
Seriously, it should be up to the individuals involved. Some people never get married, does that mean that they can never enjoy the pleasures of the flesh? That doesn't seem very fair.

No its not wrong in my opinion, unless you answer these questions on some moral standard like christianity, or another moral code that would object to it.

Lila, I kind of agree. I ain't going to say I didn't before I was married to my ex-husband. I mean I tried it out. I ended up having a daughter as a result of that. But is it okay really to complicate things as a young adult with sex? I mean as a older more mature person it would be accepted right because you know what you want....it isn't just a lay...

I just feel like nowadays kids are having sex when they should be playing with dolls and trucks. Not each other's privates.

Mothers should teach there children that it is okay to have sex but with responsibilty and love. Not just because Johnny and Susie do it.

* gets off soap box now*

omg, I hope that clip in your avatar is doctored....is that a bear?

Well I suppose if you are following the christian ideology than yes it's probably wrong to indulge in sex before marriage. On the other hand I think when you are mature enough to decide that you want to have sex, and are willing act in a responsible manner, than go ahead I see nothing wrong with it.

Oh yes it is don't worry about it though the little cub is alright, it got stuck on a tree. lsource

I couldn't imagine marrying someone i hadn't even had sex with. WHat if they were awful, or couldn't even do it?

Men hit their sexual peak around 20. Most people don't even get married until they're 25-30. Even 'god' would have given men a sexual peak later in life if we were supposed to marry beforehand.

Sex is for whenever you feel like connecting with someone. It is your choice, and it is completely right whenever you want to do it. (So long as you're an adult).

1 Corinthions 5:1

It is actually reported that sexual immorality is among you and of the kind the kind that doesn't even occur even among pagans...

We are bad..

We shoukdn't have sex before marriage with people or animals.


Why is it that Christians are so tempted to do these things rather than non believers?

Lila, I like the way you think!

When I was a little girl, raised in a Baptist household, I was taught to wait until I was married. Then as I matured and emotions started to boil up I realized that kissing someone just wasn't enough and I sure wasn't going to wait for the ceremony stuff, if kissing felt that good. I waited until I found someone I was very much in love with and it was a beautiful thing.

If I had a daughter I would educate her about sex and protection and that deciding to give one's most precious possession, (their bodies), to the care of someone else, is a decision that should be undertaken with respect for the body temple and the fact that once one loses their virginity they can never regain the experience of a first time. Don't do it just because peer pressure says it's cool!

And also out of that sense of self respect, to choose her lover wisely. Character is everything, and if she ever encounters a boy that refuses to use protection she need realize what he's really saying to her; That his sexual gratification is more important than living! (given the STD's and especially HIV/AIDS, epidemic we are currently battling).

I would also advise her, if she felt like she wanted to marry her lover, to live with him first. You can date for a million years, but at the end of that date you both go your separate ways. Consequently you don't get to see what one another are like around the clock. The little things that challenge us @ home, are the things we have to share when we ask someone to live with us forever. (i.e. in a marriage).
It's better to live together and find out what the experience is like, without the contract that binds and is subsequently a real challenge to cancel if it doesn't work out, (divorce), than it is to move your suit cases in and out, without having the stress of paperwork and attitude.

the problem with the rules of the slow changing aspects of society is they often fall out of step of the mainstream.

@burnside: there was a time when most people were married well before twenty. what you give is an example of how times can change but set rules may not.

the problem with christianity (for the sake of this thread) is it takes a stance of denial of the human animal. it is unrealistic to expect the untrained/undisciplined to not act as the natural animal urges tell them to! now who is to say "thou shalt not"? it is another game of "my way is the only way" and further demonstrates the intolorance religions produce.

the best answer, as with everything, is education! provide the knowledge, provide the options (all of them), and guide people along their path. at a younger age, the guidance needs to be stronger. a good teacher/parent knows how to read his/her student and how much guidance he/she needs.

we must never be so arrogant as to take the "i know better than you" attitude on such subjective material. also, the use of threat of punishment does nothing but teach the student the skills of avoidance. in the end such heavy-handedness does only harm.

do not underestimate. children are capable of much more than most give them credit for. the difficulty quite often lies in the fact that the adult is not more than a child him/herself.

Which then is worse:

To have sex with someone before marriage?
OR To wait, get married, then divorce?

Its a personal choice whether or not to have sex before a union, whether it is civil or religious. Youngster do need to be educated, in a frank and honest manner, about the dangers of sex. Teen (and younger!) pregnancies, STD's, and cruel and abusive partners are the real danger.

By "mystifying" sex, and downplaying the dangers of unprotected intercourse, we are actually doing our youth a dis-service.

As a child I was told that sex was natural and okay.

I wasn't told you can't have sex blah blah blah. and I come from a christian family. I just was tiold be responsible in what you do. Don't just choose to have sex with anyone. This is wrong.

@ hyper we all are animals this is why this is such a hard thing for people to do. It is only natural to have sex. It is just an urge you get.

@ Goddess that is nice I am going to be accepting to

@ Burnside both my parents got married at 17 and 18 this is young. I know a lot of people that choose to get married young or at least act married. This is just an example of how people change. I couldn't just marry someone I wasn't sexually compatable with either. That is something you just have to have.

i should add there is also the issue of your views on marriage.

if you are like myself and view it as a social construct which serves mainly to provide rights of inheritance, then it means nothing to you. (i do not need or desire the approval of society for my choices).

yes, it is animalistic. and, 101, as in our previous enjoyable converstions, i need to mention the importance of individuality and the dynamics it provides. for each person that needs 10 partners a week, there is one that is happy in abstinance. arbitrary absolutes only hurt the people on one side of the bar. we all need to be accepting of the diversity of life.

Well let us say that a person is together for 5 years living together and having intercourse? When will they get married because some feel like hey " If I get the milk for free why buy the cow"

And um with my milk I like a little choclate sauce and she is freaky like that. I mean what to do. It is so difficult. even if you feel as a Christian that sex is alright aren't you eventually going to hurt yourself if it was just a lay. Because let us face it some women and men are just horn dogs and looking for someone in heat.

Considering adultery is one of the many cause of divorce, why should one be expected to marry someone whom they don't even know if they are sexually compatible with? I'm sure if two people met who neither find sex very important it wouldn't matter as much but what's the chances of that. I do not believe it is wrong to try out the product before purchasing. Just my own opinion.

We should all hit it many, many, many, many, times before we get married. Be safe, not reclous, and then tap that ass!

Not only that, but what if you're perfectly fine just living with someone and not marrying them? Like the situation I'm in X) perfectly happy just living with him, not looking to get married....

Sex is something that should be enjoyed with who you feel a connection to... we've grown so anal about sexual things because we hide it so much... try to restrict it to "Only when you're married..." and monogomy... but that's a whole different kettle of fish...

Yes...... I think it's right before marriage. When you're married you'll wake up one morning thinking "Wow..... this is the only person I'm going to have sex with for the rest of my life." You didn't even get to try other people..... then you'll feel like you missed out on something in life........then you'll just feel like crap.....

diversity is the magic!

it all depends on what you are looking for. just don't become too disappointed if that POA gets a bit out of shape in a few years less you begin shopping for a more recent model!

what was that old joke about women and cars again?

So yall are saying That we should pick and choice the size make and model and color of our Piece before we buy it.

Well I want a white 1980 model and bigger the better.,

Oh and what if my man breaks down send him to the shop? lol

101: you should know by now i am not one to surrender to animalist urges!

for the record, i have only had sex with one person, the only gf i have ever had, that i have been with for 14 years.

Hyper, I understand I am just playing. I think it is great that you have been so faithful to your lady. She is lucky. SO WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER? Sorry I just needed to say that. I personally think and don't think I am a hipocrite that having sex with someone you truly love is okay in God's eyes. But that is me.

Oh yes, absolutely.
Just like the timethe bible was written, and these certain 'rules' were created, they were created for the time. Now that the time is LONG past, and we are in an age of completely different values, should those rules of old not be replaced too?



Exactly. And if you married, found out you couldn't do it with them, and because completely unhappy, what then? Divorce, of course. A much bigger sin in the books eyes is it not? You need to know these things beforehand.




The whole point of getting married should be for love. Because you want to connect with that person on a level deeper than simply living together, and you want to create a family with them, raise children. Marrying just for sex is just stupid really! You can get sex anywhere.





Exactly.

meh. I've been married to the same woman for 19 years. Before that, we lived together for a year and a half. before that, we dated for two years. Before THAT, we knew each other as friends.

And yes, we did before we got hitched.

Yes divorce is shunned in the eyes of God except if they practice a religion different than yours or they commit adultry.

And yes I gave the milk up before I married my husband too. But he then had an affair on me after 2 years of being married.

So what I am saying is I just don't want to get burned. Men are mean just as women can be. So I just think we should try and love before we ever have sex.

I don't think I can handle monogomy... honestly... And I guess I'm lucky to have found a guy who accepts that... and he's secure enough to not get jealous and know that he is, and will be mah main squeeze X)

I want a main squeeze.

It's just mostly based on the culture or what society enforces. The Trobriand for example, have a lot of premarital sex and it is not frowned upon because it allows them to decide who they want to marry. I also believe it is necessary for individuals to have sex with the other individual before they are married. This helps them know what they're getting into.

Ain't you married?

Dont be a prude have a little fun and dont get too attached (in case it does not work out).

This message is only meant for adults. Kids stay away from sex (if possible until your old enough to handle any fall out or consequences).

Sadly the bastard left me for another woman with red hair. But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

get a cat!

my gf and i travel quite a bit (apart).... we have 2 cats that usually stay with me.

well, the funny thing is, a couple times the one cat not only tried to push my gf out of the bed (asserting dominance - as the dominant female) but also grabbed her by the back of the neck to do the same!

cats can bond quite strongly......

Hey dont worry, im sure you are a very attractive woman and a good catch.. Most any man would be lucky to have you

This thread is speaking from the point of view of Christianity, so i'll make my point as such. were adam and eve married before they had sex? and if they were who was around to witness it, as they were the first man and woman? according to the bible we would not be here without them, so how can sex before amrriage be wrong?
Also, from the point of view of Christianity, what about the birth of Jesus? yes it wads an 'immaculate conception', but it sort of amounts to the same thing. Mary and God weren't married, so...

God is a sinnah!

hahaha Riz, i don't think a cat would be good for that sort of... squeeze.

BASTICH!

*hugs* You'll find someone, it's just a matter of time.

Well heres the crux of the situation:

If you are a Christian, you are a Christian fullstop. This implies that you have to go along with all the rules for the rest of your life. This means that you will not have pre marital sex, and you will not divorce except on the grounds through which the Church allows. If you don't practice the doctrine you are not Christian, and that is it. Nobody is forcing you to be a Chrisitan in the first place.

"Religion is a privelidge, not a right".


If you are not a Christian (or any other faith which disagrees with pre marital sex) then you are free to do as you wish. Hell you could fly through 10 partners a week if you so desired, there is no law prohibiting you from having sex with whoever and with how many people you desire. At the end of the day it's all about choice.

Hyper I got a cat and a dog and a 3 year old baby. And the baby gets jealous of the cat all the time. I am fine I mean I just got to chill.


Thanks For Rizzle your a sweetie.

101 her cat dog and baby.

101 hugs SC back thanks girl

Burnside the cat um well ain't given that kind of lovin' that would be gross.

I'm a cat! *purrrs at Burn*

Haha, it's funny how a thread about sex could have so much people speaking and posting about it so quick. I guess everything likes talking about it!

Yeah wheres the UM XXX Blog area.. Rizzle has some stories..

ABout the MORAL implications of sex. Any deviance from that topic will be removed.

Dang XXX you got some movies.

* goes and prays for forgiveness*

Boy howdy I got some storys to guy.

Oh how Id love to hear about them. However Burnside was clear in his post above.. Lowers head.. Now depressed.

of course! PG rated. But what do you guys think about school system teaching sex ed or how some wants them to teach abstinence? Which do you believe should be taught in school?

They should teach abstinence but also educate on safe sex and diseases. Do not go giving out condoms to horny teenagers.. That aint right..

Yeah well Maybe later.

I think schools should teach safe sex. Anything other than that would be teaching religion right? I am not sure. I just think kids should be taught and informed before they have to find out themselves. I was in 3 grade when my parents told me. I am not scarred by this at all.

What?? Don't give condoms to teens who want to have sex?? The logic.. it boggles my mine!