Nerds make better lovers
Ready for a real relationship? Ditch the
pretty boys and grab yourself a geek
By TRACEY LOMRANTZ

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/317296p-271224c.html

Christina Aguilera recently traded in piercings for petticoats, apparently making the usual Marilyn Monroe morph. But there's more than meets the eye: Sure, she's blond, buxom and sweet-voiced now, but she's also emulating the classic bombshell in matters of the heart.
You see, Aguilera's fiance, like Monroe's husband, playwright Arthur Miller, is kind of a geek.

When Aguilera announced her engagement to smarty-pants music executive Jordan Bratman in February, the 24-year-old pop star demonstrated a tried-and-true dating trick. Geeks have got the goods.

Bratman, with his scrawny frame and oversize ears, has mastered the music industry at just 26 and is Romeo enough to have stolen Aguilera's heart (as well as inspired her new demure-coquette look).

"A nerd is an excellent provider and a guy who puts you first," says E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine's love and sex advice columnist. "He'll turn out to be a great father and a great husband."

And, she insists that a woman who is willing to stick it out with a nerd and get past his quirks will be handsomely rewarded. "Don't give up on him too fast," she said. "If you stick with him, he's going to turn out to be really great."

If Hollywood is any indication, then yes, he will. This month, reality TV celebrates geek love with two shows: Ashton Kutcher's "Beauty and the Geek," which pairs braniacs with bimbos for a "social experiment," and the latest installment of "Average Joe," in which a pretty girl woos not-so-studly dudes (airing on June 22).

On Fox's "The O.C.," the nerdy Seth Cohen (played by Adam Brody) didn't just land the adorable Summer Roberts (Rachel Bilson) on TV - he managed to get the girl in real life, too. Bilson (and her character) managed to look past the slicked-down hair to find the witty guy beneath. Cohen's obsession with comic books? Her character deems it sweet. Brody's nasal drawl? Bilson doesn't seem to mind.

How can a savvy girl land a geek of her own? Spencer Koppel, a self-proclaimed geek who attends crossword-puzzle tournaments on weekends, has made it easy for girls with their eye on the prize with his "Geek to Geek" dating service, www.gk2gk.com.

Members can meet and select a perfect mate (guys with screen names like "thinkspecs" and "ivygrad") based on favorite board game and gadget instead of eye color, height and other categories the nerds might be lacking.

And according to Koppel, the pool is stocked with supreme sci-fi fans and accomplished intellects.

"I think geeks are more successful. They're happier in the work they do," Koppel said. "And they're pretty faithful people, because they're certainly grateful for anything they have."

When it comes to the between-the-sheets aspect of the relationship, Carroll agreed that a girl couldn't do much better than a less-than-perfect male specimen. "We've all been to bed with the guy who is worried about what he looks like, checking the mirror before he gets in bed," she said. "The nerd, gloriously, stunningly, perfectly, is into the woman. That right there is very stirring, sexually."

Tiger's purr-fect

It seems to be enough for the likes of goddess models and Hollywood A-listers. Tiger Woods has a geek-like drive for a stodgy sport, a fat bank account and Swedish model Elin Nordegren on his arm. David Arquette may not have the body of a Greek god, but he managed to land sexy former Friend Courteney Cox with his goofy humor and mismatched wardrobe.

For Scott Dennis, a 34-year-old teacher from Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, "geek" and "good guy" are synonymous - and he is both. Although some aspects of his personality make him what he called a "quintessential babe magnet" (former jock, drummer in a rock band), the real qualities that helped him land his girlfriend are the geeky ones.

"Do I know the difference between a knight and a pawn? Certainly," he says. "Am I familiar with the Four Move Checkmate? Well, maybe I am. ... But the truth is I'm a decent guy with diverse interests who actually offers authenticity in his relationships."

But to get to that authentic nerd, chic women have to be willing to embrace their own inner geek and accept the guy for who he is, chess trophies and all. The caveat to mating with a geek, as some dating experts see it, is coming to terms with his less-than-studly looks and less-than-suave demeanor. All thoughts of embarrassment have to go out the window.

Andrea Lavinthal, who co-authored (with Jessica Rozler) "The Hookup Handbook," a young woman's guide to navigating the waters of singlehood, says that being sure of your choice of guy is first and foremost.

"Girls tend to worry about what their friends are going to think," she said, "and you have to get over it. You can't always be making excuses and apologies. Give him the respect he deserves, and don't always be assuming you're better than him."

She also said that not all girls are ready for a full-on geek relationship right from the start. Her book has a chapter devoted to "The Snufalufagus Hookup," the one that every girl wishes her friends didn't know about, and that she at first tries to deny happened. "In many ways, it's the first foray into the nerdy guy thing," Lavinthal said. "You're attracted to him because he doesn't screw around. Sure, it's fun to make out with the hot bartender, but you're not going to marry him."

Not falling for the fakes

Koppel, however, warns that unserious girls who prowl his site looking for a breadwinner should use caution - his members may be geeky, but they sure aren't stupid. "I think geeks are intelligent enough to be wary of the idea that an attractive woman is interested in them," he said. "They aren't as drawn to beauty as they are to intelligence, and wouldn't just accept a ditz."

It takes the right kind of girl to love a nerd. Kate Hammer, an NYU student, said she's just that kind of girl. "I have been snagged by nerd charms," she said.

"My ex and I bonded over 'Star Trek,' and on our first date at an amusement park, my current boyfriend impressed me with his intricate understanding of the physics of roller coasters. He's a mechanical engineer."

For a modern girl who is far from ditzy, the geek could be the mate who brings security and a load of eclectic interests to the relationship. Even the once-naughty Aguilera managed to find a guy who defines devotion and doesn't compete to be the sexiest one in the relationship. Clearly, it's what a girl wants.

hehehe, I agree with this one, nerdy guys tend to be very intellectual. I don't see how anyone could actually stay with someone on looks alone, there's gotta be more. Also they seem to be more 'deep' than pretty preppy boys.

Nerds make better lovers because they are severely whipped and will do everything you want them to.

And trust me, looks are never any measure of how "deep" people are Discordia.

She's absoloubtly right!

So c'mon ladies - Dump your rock star boyfriends and pull up a chair at the XBOX LIVE table

Hey, I defiantely don't think any Xbox Liver's are geeks. Now people on internet forums however....

Who's the lucky lady thats gonna snag this hunk?

lol....fix him up a bit, and wear him out!

Dude...he has a pocket protector...lost cause.

you can be a nerd with out being a loser, i call my self a nerd/geek ect, so do a lot of my friends, so does my girlfriend, but being a nerd doesnt mean i have to dress like that or even act like the stereotypical nerd, i dont need glasses, i wear name brand clothes (for what ever thats worth) i listen to rap music etc etc i have all the benefits of being a nerd and all the benefits of being a "bad boy", the women love me

this ones for you then seeking:

i wonder if lovers make better geeks? [attachmentid=15544]

^hahah awesome

Hahaha. My boyfriend's in a rock band (Senryu), but he's still the geekiest person I know.

But it's true, nerdier boys are becoming sexier to the average lady.

-They'll probably be more successful in life
-You don't have to worry about other girls trying to steal him away

Personally it's the snort that gets me.

Sorry, but nerdy is still nowhere near as sexy as the tall dark and hansom rebel who pulls up on his motorcycle and sweeps you off your feet. Girls dont want a meek little nerd with his "sexy" dow jones dividends, they want a real manly man to treat them and love them like a woman should. Would a nerd fight for your honor if in the situation?

Besides, only on an internet forum full of nerds could such a topic be supported!

ever see revenge of the nerds?

when one of the popular girls finished having sex with one of the nerds, she asked him how he got so good at making love. he said:

"Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex"

Sorry, I'd rather have a smart man in a suit than an overly-macho beefcake. Do you KNOW how obnoxious beefcakes are?

Excuse me, but dorks don't wear suits; they wear suspenders and high tops... and despite the term "Beefcake" the amount of muscle on a person is no indication of how intelligent or unintelligent they are.

I am just saying, nerds are classified as being physically lesser, annoying, needy, and in later stages of life show meglomaniac qualities (ala Bill Gates).

And seriously, if nerds are so smart, you'd think they would see the purpose of getting a healthy/strong body and improve their social/popularity status and thus have a better life in the long run.


Here's the deal with this quote: if you need to think about sex while you're doin it, you're probably doing it wrong. Sex is a spur of the moment "driven by passion" thing; the more you think about it the more lible you are to make it feel like she's screwing an emotionless robot and mess it up!

hey monkey, maybe it is just the "MSB" the nerds suffer from

women want both. they want the best genes the "strong guys" offer during esterous, and the "nerd"/"caregiver"/"provider" to raise the offspring.

that is why we see the guys you talk about "bagging" 20 a week, while the faithful nerds are, well, faithful. never forget that the gender that has the most invested in reproduction is the one in control.

i must say, that once a woman goes "nerd" she wont go back

but like i said, the trick so to be a combonation of both, i dont ride a bike, but i am in the import/euro tuning scene, and at the same time i read books written by stephen hawking and brian green for fun, but then again i also go out every weekend at 2 or 3 in the morning to feed my graffitit fix, and yet ill be on my computer reading up on the latest video game console specs right before i go out, im not a loud mouth however if someone tries to step on my toes i will have no problem putting them back in thier place, i weigh in at 150lbs and can bench 200, and right after the gym ill go to my advanced placement physics class and ace my pop quiz

all in all the best of both worlds truley is the best, my friends come to me when they need help in school, and they'll come to me when they need someone to talk to, they'll come to me if they need someone to back them up at a party, and they'll come to me to just flat out chill

i guess you can say its really all about being your self, and being confident in yourself, i know who i am, i know what i enjoy, and i dont let things like image get in the way of me being me

the only thing i can think of that people may think is a downer is that i dont drink or smoke so im not a real party person, but thats because ive seen what drugs and drinking does to people, and ive sworn to myself to never even think about trying it

Ric Ocasek is a nerd and a rock star - guess which fact got him Paulina??

well it wasn't his looks.

id have to go with money

Seeking has the right definition of a nerd. The appearance factor of a 'Nerd' is just a stereo typical label. You don't have to be ugly or gross to be a nerd. Intellectual men are far more appealing than the 'bad boys' who are stuck on themselves, actually men like that aren't appealing at all. One key factor is, they must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation, otherwise what are they good for?

you beat me to it, I was just about to post that quote,but ide say that quote is pretty truthfull IMO

my "nerdy" side: I like history,conspiracies/mysteries, reading,starwars,HALO,Video games,some 70's and 80's music.etc...

my "tough guy" side: in progress ,I'm trying to lose wheight and build muscle in prep. for joining the Marines.

I hope that ends up as a good enough combo

No doubt, the article was written by a wishful thinking nerd!!

I can already predict the follow up article - "Axe Murderers Make The Best Parents!"

I'd still take a World of Warcraft nerd over a quarterback anyday.

its too bad you dont live in connecticut....::animal growl:: just kidding lol

OMG!
1. not all the "Bad Boys" are stuck on themselves and go around using and abusing all the women they can get their hands on!!
2. Conversation is not the key to having a good relationship.. my mother and father can talk about things but are still very emotionally unattatched from eachother.. they don't even hold hands anymore! Relationships need passion baby! Yeah...

Seeking, you sound like a better catch then some of these other nerds, more of a hybrid nerd which is a lot better then a pure blooded 100% geek.

hahah im definetly what you can call a hybrid


but i disagree, i believe strong relationships are built on communication and trust, if you dont have both of those qualities the passion wont have the legs it needs to succeed

heres a pic of me and my girl so you all can see nerds are not all just about pocket protectors and suspenders

lol nice one

@seeking pic bro, i agree with seeking new age of nerds are rising....

@Ausaria u play WoW, neways im gonna start soon should be good

My wife figured this out about 4 years ago when she found me. I mean take a look at the picture, a beautiful woman marries a nerd. It must have been for my sense of humor. LOL

lol twpdyp, im lookin for a nerdy gurl also i find that they generally are more relaxin....accept wen studyin wuhaha

yeah like I'm sort of the stereotype nerd because I'm ugly I have glasses. and zits. but i used to be more of one. like i wore braces and glasses etc

first off, braces, glasses, zits - thats all part of life

i find glasses attractive actually, but within time the braces and zits will go away, and your only ugly if you beleive you are ugly, confidence is beutiful

hybrids are always better. <snicker>

Yeah I wish I could have confidence because i write songs that people read and think i should send them to a producer. And I dont have enough confidence to sing them. heres my most recent

Happily ever after
(soft)a beautiful princess
a handsome prince
a castle and a
(sassy)happily ever after
thats the fairy tale
I always loved
pretending I'm the princess
but then things changed
CHORUS
LIfe aint always
happily ever after
a true love
a ride in a carriage
but with you
it sure is a
happily ever after
I wish on a star
every nite
for a
happily ever after
CHORUS
(soft sweet)
Every nite
I wish upon a shooting star
wondering where you are<
CHORUS
OHhh-
this is what I always wished for
my life is rite--
Cause I'm with you now
and-
CHORUS
OHH--
with you I know its a--
(soft) happily ever after--

if you want you can comment

you could pm me or just put it here

wow this is so true. I like nerds just as good as fine guys whatever floats your boat

Hmm, I'm a nerd.

I guess my ex didn't get the memo. Or I'm just not worth having.

Oh well. At least I'm not dead.



Edited: cause I can't spell.

im currently in a relationship, she is definetly no nerd, opposites attract eh? but i really wish she was more "nerdlike" now that i think about it, esspecially as you get older and wiser, it just seems to be the more logical choice

i like the nerdy type of gurls...they are the best all round in my opinion cute smart and sexc

nerdgirls?

sounds like a new dating service!!!!

Good lord, I do not find nerdy girls attractive in any way at all. Give me a break...

Well maybe not the stereotypical nerdy girl. But ditzes get old really quick.

man, i like you and all, but you seem a little shallow when it comes to the ladies, dont let the stereotypical nerdy girl ruin it for you


my first love was actually a "ditz", theres nothing wrong with those kinds of girls either

I am a little bit of a nerd, and Tiddlyjen loves me for it, so its all good in my books. I love to read(especially sci-fi novels) and play video-games, but I love to play sport, work-out, party and I wear fashionable clothes, so I`m just a bit of everthing.lol. Although I am proud to say I am part nerd.

join the hybrid club

ROFLMAO! Thats true though, which is probably why I am not on UM very often anymore, that and I got a social life lol

most of the people who go to this forum are on it while they are at work, myself included