WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know
the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can
help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for
some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent
my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo-oo--oo-oo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"




The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up , only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough
draft before the masterpiece.

I love the tampon one...

15 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
1) A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
2) When you go to a bar you can always pick up a beer.
3) A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.
4) You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
5) If you pour a beer just right you'll always get good head.
6) Hangovers go away.
7) When you are finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
8) You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
9) A beer always goes down easy.
10) You can share a beer with your friends.
11) Beer is always wet.
12) You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
13) A frigid beer, is a good beer.
14) You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
15) You can enjoy a beer all month long.

That tampons one is fantastic!

i am staying well out of this one ...

I love the tampons one, hilarious! And the one about leg waxing.

all i can think of right now is jack nicholson!

from movie (which i forget name of):
q: how do you think like a woman?
a: i think like a man, and then remove reason, logic, responsibility....

edit: and of course, i can't forget this one:
[attachmentid=15545]

lol!
Very good, Hyperactive!

Taking the remost controll was the best she could manage.
My husband would still sit and watch whatever was on when i took it. I would be better off taking the PS2. hehehe

leg waxing is one I will be using around here.. I am the offical house killer of spiders here... even my Dad will call me to kill a spider.

the waxing: it is not as bad as you think it is....

^ I'll take your word for it.

you don't know what your missing...... hehehe.

the anticipation is the worst part, as with so much. far better than shaving, it is. well, actually perminant hair removal is most likely the best choice.

Should any of be worried that Kratos knows so much about hair removal?

PS: I thought all the gags were funny Lila.

I you read the thread it is indeed hyperactive that knows a lot about it.

Though, I am curious about waxing because shaving can be painful at some points and you only need to wax so often...

Waxing really isn't that bad. Pulling out one hair is painful, but many at once just stings a little. It's like you can't lay on a bed with a nail in it, but if the matress is made of nails the pain will distribute and be more faint. Get what I'm saying?

Plus the sting of waxing every couple weeks is MUCH better than having to shave your legs every two days.

Ok, be mature with this people:


Source

A site completely all about waxing: Hair-B-Gone!

Probably one of the weirdest searches I have ever done for this forum.

It's kinda like the man on the moon thing. "I can't belive they put a man on the moon, but you still deliver the pizza at the wrong place"

They're all great Lila!

In our house I'm the spider and scorpian collector, hubby dry retches just at the sight of them.

Sorry about that Kratos, I really did mean hyperactive.

And your actions 'above and beyond' in conducting a google on hair removal will be noted in your permanent file. Keep up the good work, and there may be a medal in this for you.

Curiosity killed the cat case, if I had ever saw one...

How would you know this?

ahhh... we have a closet waxer!

I got my first wire eyebrow the other day, and went to pull it out... How the hell do women sit for hours plucking eyebrows. It really hurt! lol.

all in the name of vanity, I'm afraid.....