Subject: FW: FOR THE WOMEN ONLY

All methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless hair removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner, played with the kids.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits.

No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough I can figure it out. YA THINK!!!

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.

Cold wax my ass (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extrodinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across theright side of bikini line, covering the right half of my coochie and stretching down to the inside of my ass cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself.

RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'M BLIND.... BLINDED FROM PAIN!!!!....Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip.

sh**!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted.

Do I hear crashing

drums???

OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it.

Where is the wax???

Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax . sh**

I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big mistake..remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet.

I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Coochie? Sealed shut.

Ass? Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "I hope I don' t get the urge to sh**. My head may pop off"

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now the only thing worse than having your business glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub in scalding hot water; which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax.

So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!

I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. Its a very good conversation starter "So, my ass and cooch are stuck to the bottom of the tub!"

She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the ass "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box YEAH Right!! I could be the joke of some one elses night.

While we go through various solutions. I result in scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!

I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. I rub some and scream "IT works!! It works!!

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my dismay...The hair is still there... all of it. So I shaved the sh** off.

Hell, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday..

Next week I'm going to try hair color.......

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OMG - I almost couldn't stop laughing long enough to finish reading!



That's Crazy!!

omg this is so funny. I could not stop laughing the whole time.

I have been there! OMG.....that's too funny!!

got that email ages ago.. but its a crack up.. guys have little or no idea of what we girls go thru (unless they do it themselves.

but yep... been there before... i thought i ripped some flesh off in the nether regions.. it b****y hurt.. and a few harsh words were said

OK, speaking as a totally clueless male, then why do you ladies torture yourselves so? Isn't there an easier method than this?

You would think, being married, I'd have picked up on some of the reasoning, but I gave up trying to decipher the mysteries of women years ago. Toatally freaked out when my 12 year old daughter started that kind of 'primping'.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

That was so funny.

I'll stick to shaving I think.

LMAO!!!!

What on earth was she thinking using a wax strip there anyway They tell you not to on the box

I just waxed today and it hurt like hell

I just saw how great it is to be a guy...

Yeah where if you shave your legs, you're gay?(us guys:P) Unless you wanna get hairier legs though, then it's ok

...ouch! that poor lady!
shaving is a winter time thing for me. during the winter no one will see the legs. who wears shorts during a snow storm

lmao... OMG.. TOO FUNNY!! Im still laughing.
Poor lady, i bet she never put wax on her hooha again!!

this reminds me of something... i seem to recall a woman super gluing a mans ding-a-ling to his leg.... and that is bad because with superglue you have to wait for the skin to flake... try beating that. *mumbles something about women thinking they go through so much(

hahahhahahahhahahahhahah so funny

i did that toi a friend of mine once, and she ended up in the bath tubb with me scrapping the wax of her butt with a knife....ROFL...it was sooooo funny !!!!