WHY ?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you
to do it?
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
Full Version: Why?
This one is getting sent out to some people! 
QUOTE
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Hmm... I seem to say "That hurt, you stupid idiot!" more often. (not exact words, but remember there are little innocent ones here.
)
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
I didn't know that phenomenon was so widespread.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
Damn,I think I'm the one.But I already knew it anyway I'm shizoid....
something new to eat will have materialized?
I didn't know that phenomenon was so widespread.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
Damn,I think I'm the one.But I already knew it anyway
I'm shizoid....
Some of those are very good points.
I seem to do this one alot.
QUOTE
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
check when you say the paint is wet?
I seem to do this one alot.
WHY ?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
Because pressing harder makes me feel better..
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
To get you farther in debt.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
I'd believe the wet paint over 4 billion stars.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Because there isn't enough air circulation to dry out the glue.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Because would you want to get some how infected before you die?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he just recently hit puberty.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Drama
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Don't need to knock yourself out before your target.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
To tease the lispy people.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Which is why evolution is rubbish.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
They're actually the same colour, just since it is such a fine sheet they look white/clear.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Nope.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Because they're stupid.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Because again, people are stupid. I blame TV.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Always does for me.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Skillage.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
You mean we're supposed to that "It's all right?". To hell with that.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Because you're careless.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
I don't.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because mother jokes seem to be the 'cool' thing to do.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you
to do it?
Nope, because chances are, she wouldn't know either.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
Why not?
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Good thing I'm the sane one then.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
Because pressing harder makes me feel better..
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
To get you farther in debt.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
I'd believe the wet paint over 4 billion stars.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Because there isn't enough air circulation to dry out the glue.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Because would you want to get some how infected before you die?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he just recently hit puberty.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Drama
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Don't need to knock yourself out before your target.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
To tease the lispy people.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Which is why evolution is rubbish.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
They're actually the same colour, just since it is such a fine sheet they look white/clear.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Nope.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Because they're stupid.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Because again, people are stupid. I blame TV.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Always does for me.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Skillage.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
You mean we're supposed to that "It's all right?". To hell with that.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Because you're careless.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
I don't.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because mother jokes seem to be the 'cool' thing to do.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you
to do it?
Nope, because chances are, she wouldn't know either.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
Why not?
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Good thing I'm the sane one then.
QUOTE
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
I'm guilty on this one, I always end up with a sore finger tip. QUOTE
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
something new to eat will have materialized?
QUOTE
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
I hate when that happens!QUOTE
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
I'm O.K.! But I can't say the same for my three best friends.
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!"-quote
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*sticks mayonnaise into toaster* thank god I'm sane
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!"-quote
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*sticks mayonnaise into toaster* thank god I'm sane
Mayo in the toaster? No silly!It goes in the blender along with bread, turkey, ham, cheese, and mustard to make a drinkable sandwich!!! (I'm not the insane one in my group, just the random one 
)
)
its from anchorman
No one ever said we evolved from apes. People say that all the time but that's not the theory *cough* Creationism is wrong *cough*.
QUOTE
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
They didn't evolve from apes, humans are apes.
QUOTE(UniversalParadox @ Jun 27 2005, 02:15 PM)
No one ever said we evolved from apes. People say that all the time but that's not the theory *cough* Creationism is wrong *cough*.
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really?
haha..I like the last one. me and my friend are loony, I know that. 
QUOTE(PadawanOsswe @ Jun 28 2005, 01:02 AM)
QUOTE(UniversalParadox @ Jun 27 2005, 02:15 PM)
No one ever said we evolved from apes. People say that all the time but that's not the theory *cough* Creationism is wrong *cough*.
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really?
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yup
i hate when people say if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes...why are there different spieces of dogs? we are one species that evoved into homosapian...simple as that
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
it's a throwback to our primitive primate roots. *grunt* press button. *snarl* channel change, ooooh. *drool* It no work. *anger* bash bash BASH BASH!
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
The government wants to keep us in debt.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The number of stars is generally considered to be constant (supernova's aside). Paint is sometimes wet, but more usually dry. Being naturally a suspicious species, we thus take what we see and feel over what someone tells us.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Because the lid is on. Not being exposed to air, the glue does not have a chance to dry and stick to the insides of the bottle. Of course it is also feasible that glue bottles are created from super material which has anti-gluing properties.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
They don't want to be liable to OH+S laws. If they die from the needle itself, they're up for murder charges and likely to face the needle themselves.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
Because Tarzan is a woman.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Superman has superpowers, right. But even you'd duck if the gun was thrown at you.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
G-force. If they didn't have helmets they'd pass out and wouldn't reach their intended destination.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
The same person who invented DNA - National Dislexics Association.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Some of us evolved. SOme of us were created..... Jealous, aren't you
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Bubbles in thier natural state are white. In liquid form, the bubbles are subject to fragrances, and oils and colourings. It is only in their natural form that they are able to break free of such oppressive colourings.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Out there, somewhere - there is always a mattress sale.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Some people have the new Fisher and Paykell transmutation refrigerator which does have food materialisation qualities. The rest of the people with regular fridge's simply hope their tastes have changed.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Because string is evil. If left to its own devices, string will vie for world domination.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Sod's law. Similar to Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong; but it reads thus: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong...... TO YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOT!
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They are a race of super intelligent alien beings, and these light fixtures were created by the anti-alien league to trap them - hiding them in houses and disguising them as simple lights. Either that, or the bugs get in via the roof which is attached to the inside of the light fixture.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
As creatures of society, we try to keep the peace at all times. Well, most times anyway.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Sods law. See above for more details.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
It only appears as warm. The temperature outside is much colder, which makes any form of heating, especially trapped heat within an enclosed space, seem warm.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because father-in-laws aren't funny.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?
I haven't got a wife.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
Why not.
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
I'm not crazy - I have the psychiatrics report to prove it. The panel voted marginally in my favour
getting weak?
it's a throwback to our primitive primate roots. *grunt* press button. *snarl* channel change, ooooh. *drool* It no work. *anger* bash bash BASH BASH!
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
The government wants to keep us in debt.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The number of stars is generally considered to be constant (supernova's aside). Paint is sometimes wet, but more usually dry. Being naturally a suspicious species, we thus take what we see and feel over what someone tells us.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Because the lid is on. Not being exposed to air, the glue does not have a chance to dry and stick to the insides of the bottle. Of course it is also feasible that glue bottles are created from super material which has anti-gluing properties.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
They don't want to be liable to OH+S laws. If they die from the needle itself, they're up for murder charges and likely to face the needle themselves.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
Because Tarzan is a woman.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Superman has superpowers, right. But even you'd duck if the gun was thrown at you.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
G-force. If they didn't have helmets they'd pass out and wouldn't reach their intended destination.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
The same person who invented DNA - National Dislexics Association.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Some of us evolved. SOme of us were created..... Jealous, aren't you
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Bubbles in thier natural state are white. In liquid form, the bubbles are subject to fragrances, and oils and colourings. It is only in their natural form that they are able to break free of such oppressive colourings.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Out there, somewhere - there is always a mattress sale.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Some people have the new Fisher and Paykell transmutation refrigerator which does have food materialisation qualities. The rest of the people with regular fridge's simply hope their tastes have changed.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Because string is evil. If left to its own devices, string will vie for world domination.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Sod's law. Similar to Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong; but it reads thus: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong...... TO YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOT!
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They are a race of super intelligent alien beings, and these light fixtures were created by the anti-alien league to trap them - hiding them in houses and disguising them as simple lights. Either that, or the bugs get in via the roof which is attached to the inside of the light fixture.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
As creatures of society, we try to keep the peace at all times. Well, most times anyway.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Sods law. See above for more details.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
It only appears as warm. The temperature outside is much colder, which makes any form of heating, especially trapped heat within an enclosed space, seem warm.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because father-in-laws aren't funny.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?
I haven't got a wife.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
Why not.
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
***Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!
I'm not crazy - I have the psychiatrics report to prove it. The panel voted marginally in my favour
QUOTE(LilaBurrows @ Jun 26 2005, 01:48 PM)
WHY ?
'Cause
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
A lot of remotes are pressure sensitve, maybe people think their's is too.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Banks use every trick in the book to get money out of you. It's what most buisness' do.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
You can't go and count the stars, can you?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Lack of oxygen
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
In case the person has an immunity to the poison?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Maybe he shaves, a lot of the technology that was on his boat crashed upon shore with him.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
'Cause no one likes blunt objects being lobbed towards their face.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case they are told to abort, or something of that nature.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Whose idea was it to have a lisp in the first place? Besides, the english language has a lot of cruel ironies.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
See?
Source
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
I think there was two evolutionary trails for apes, one didn't evolve as much as the other.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Soap is soap, I guess.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yep.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Everyone knows that the Gnomes bring people food when they're not looking.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
People are stupid.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
'Luck of the roll', I suppose
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They crawl in there, get stuck then die. Bugs are good at getting into places, but bad at getting out.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
A lot of people don't like to be rude, I suppose it's better to not lose your cool in situations like that.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Clumbsy-ness.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
Because humans are very picky when it comes to their climate.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Steriotypes
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you
to do it?
Maybe, but that goes against the old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
XD
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Neat, you learn something new everyday.
[right][snapback]700231[/snapback][/right]
'Cause
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
A lot of remotes are pressure sensitve, maybe people think their's is too.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Banks use every trick in the book to get money out of you. It's what most buisness' do.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
You can't go and count the stars, can you?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Lack of oxygen
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
In case the person has an immunity to the poison?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Maybe he shaves, a lot of the technology that was on his boat crashed upon shore with him.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
'Cause no one likes blunt objects being lobbed towards their face.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case they are told to abort, or something of that nature.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Whose idea was it to have a lisp in the first place? Besides, the english language has a lot of cruel ironies.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
See?
Source
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
I think there was two evolutionary trails for apes, one didn't evolve as much as the other.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Soap is soap, I guess.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yep.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Everyone knows that the Gnomes bring people food when they're not looking.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
People are stupid.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
'Luck of the roll', I suppose
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They crawl in there, get stuck then die. Bugs are good at getting into places, but bad at getting out.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well,
it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
A lot of people don't like to be rude, I suppose it's better to not lose your cool in situations like that.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Clumbsy-ness.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
Because humans are very picky when it comes to their climate.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Steriotypes
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you
to do it?
Maybe, but that goes against the old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
XD
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Neat, you learn something new everyday.
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