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Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums > Other > General Off-Topic Discussion > Jokes & Humour
TaintedDoughnuts
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit
33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the
worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in
turn and asks them about how they died.

First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was
cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one
afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When
I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife
was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't
find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place
I looked was out on the balcony.

I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back
in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he
yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer,
and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors
screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He
landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the
kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and
hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed
him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went
back into the bedroom and shot myself."

St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then,
telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this
apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning
exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the
sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily,
I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and
holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when
this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and
started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but
he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull
myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my
fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I
landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of
luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous
refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and
crushing me."

St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken
bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man.

Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a
refrigerator..."
Paranoid Android
Heard this one before. Still funny though thumbsup.gif
Moose-Of-Armageddon
Same here original.gif
Elthrad
Ha! Ha! Tis amusing!
nativechick1989
laugh.gif Funny!
Skuzzlebutt


Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a
refrigerator..."


LOL!!! Good one... the third one reminds me of one of my freinds... the 40 yr old pervert who loves teenage girls..... He would hide naked in the fridge with a digital camera and snap pics of 13 yr olds..... sick!!!!!!!!!!! He's also known as the kindergarten stalker....or der kinderluvr!!!!!!!!
Great Big Sea
Good joke Tainted Donuts! tongue.gif
maidenmoon
i may be sad but i don't get it and you didn't actually give me the answer so i still don't get it i get the fact that the dude on the balcony in the first one was the dude in the second one and the dude in the fridge was the first in the first dudes fridge but from then on in i'm lost blink.gif
pozexis
ROFLMAO
TheLikeness
NICE! laugh.gif
maidenmoon
i have no idea what roflamoa means either help me please anyone sad.gif
character
roflmao thats a good one (btw roflmao means roling on flore laughing my ass of)
maidenmoon
oh i get it now thank you so much for clearing that up tongue.gif
justcallmefox
teeheehee, that was good.
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