This is the game, "Statements of Absurdity"

I start by making an incomplete absurd statement. the next person finishes the statement.

SAMPLE: The sound of one hand clapping is...( what?)



(Don't forget to add your incomplete statement for the next person )

have fun

Is mandatory on most leper colonies.


A fool and his money.....


Is that right Dot?

Or do you want more of a ....


How much wood would a woodchuck.....

Leaves an impressive inheritance.

If a chicken without legs wants to cross the road....

D'oh!!!

Kismit!

If a chicken without legs wants to cross the road....make sure to check the bus schedule.

the rising cost of bouncing eggs is....


perfect Kizzy, thesource & joc...(I beat you though )!!!

He'd damn well better know how to fly!

The Associated Press is to Journalism what....

The Associated Press is to Journalism what....crickets are to tree toads

The rising cost of bouncing eggs is....

proving to be a concerne for the Pigs can fly, bacon manufacturers union.


Freezer burn is a relatively frequent...

...quite random

the absurdness of UA posting in this thread is...




problem at homes in the arctic, a new 'ice screen' (similar to sun screen) is due on the market next year

When Playmates pose for the winter issue.

The mind is a terrible thing to use when....

compounded when he tries to impress 90 year old debutantes.

under the influence of a tussin....


articial inteligence is at it's best when....



and U.A.

Data and Captain Kirk are stuck on the Halodeck.


French Kissing a Kangaroo in Bismark is like.........

.... ten times better than french kissing most of the natives, from what I saw of it..



You know you're in trouble when...

totaly awesome, dude....


Bismark Bison best beat binary barnacles by....

ubsurdly appropriate


making manacled monkeys masticate mushrooms


you kiss Bismark Bison manacled to manic monkeys



Should time stand still........

so would space and everything in it, all atoms, molecules and particles would freeze in their positions, giving an end to the second law of thermodynamics...
...or my watch would stop and i would wonder why



you know its good when...

your gravy doesn't congeal

Three birds in the hand don't....

Three birds in the hand don't.... make nearly as much noise as three in the dishwasher.

The best thing about being homeless is...

The best thing about being homeless is...you can take a dump anywhere and chipmunks have eaten your socks.

Television rots your brain because.....

...it's really a mind control device from Big Brother

Don't count your chickens...

Don't count your chickens...before they eat all Dan's bugs; they are afraid of beetles.

All work and no play makes.....

wormy secretions rather vulgar.

~

Oops!! (forgot)

Feedback recieved from the left field....

Feedback recieved from the left field.....Is a toasted cheese and peanut-butter sandwich.

Mr. Smith walks his dogs at...

Mr. Smith walks his dogs at... sunset, when it's easier to BBQ 'em.

Two poodles in a...

Two poodles in a...golfcart are better than a fox in a hen house


When synchronising yourself to the earths magnetic field....

When synchronising yourself to the earths magnetic field.... remember to remove all your piercings and warn the operator about the metal plate in your head.

When your child has diaper rash,...

When your child has diaper rash....an oatmeal in time will save nine


yo ho ho and ...

yo ho ho and ... A bottle of soggy cigarette butts.

The true meaning of life is...

eat corn...

When Pigs fly...

When pigs fly....You're among friends, so no one can lay an egg.


After partaking of a few alcoholic beverages remembering whose turn....

...it is to kiss the monkey is difficult indeed!

When the crow flies south in the dead of winter...

When the crow flies south in the dead of winter... even straight roads meander.



Every face contains a map of...

every face contains a map of....Kentucky, just under the left eye. You gotta look real close.


Believing in the.....

Believing in the.....power of positive thinking is sure to enhance one's intellect and wealth!

Thunder, lightning, hail, and high winds do justice....

Thunder, lightning, hail, and high winds do justice....To those who're dying to collect from their house insurance.

Putting one foot in front of the other....

Putting one foot in front of the other....usually makes it easier to throw a shot put.

If music be the food of love....

If music be the food of love....then poetry must be the food of inspiration!

If a tree falls off a truck going down the highway at rush hour...

If a tree falls off a truck going down the highway at rush hour...it makes no sound what-so-ever.

Its always in the last place you look.....

Its always in the last place you look.....that you will find what you need so look there first.

Knick, knack, paddy, whack give the dog a........

Knick, knack, paddy, whack give the dog a........posting bone for achievements thus-far unrecognized.

A bird in the bush is worth two....

A bird in the bush is worth two.... posting bones for achievements thus-far unrecognized.

Jack Sprat could......

Jack Sprat could climb the tallest celery stick

Many junebugs enjoy...

Many junebugs enjoy...having cicadas over for tea

Do you know the Muffin Man....

Do you know the Muffin Man.... is a registered sex offender?




The best thing about being ugly is...

The best thing about being ugly is... 20% off at all participating McDonald's restaurants.

Whenever I see a butterfly...

Whenever I see a butterfly... It helps offest my desire to mutilate small woodland creatures.

I just saved a bunch of money...

I just saved a bunch of money to buy some stone spoons.

If I need Energizer....

I need Energizer...batteries for my lifelike man robot.


It'd be cool being a possum because...

It'd be cool being a possum because... they are fuzzzy and cute even as roadkill


When ever I explode.....

Whenever I explode I known i've eaten too much beans.

A chinchilla attack is bad because...