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* In primitive society, when native tribes beat
the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called
witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is
called golf.

* The man who takes up golf to get his mind off
his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.

* Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

* The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard,
straight and not too often.

* There are three ways to improve your golf game:
take lessons, practice constantly -- or start cheating.

* An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball
twice - once before swinging, and once again,
after swinging.

* Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy
because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.

* Golf is a game in which the slowest people in
the world are those in front of you, and the
fastest are those behind.

* Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

* There's no game like golf: you go out with
three friends, play eighteen holes, and return
with three enemies.

* Golf got its name because all of the other
four letter words were taken