I have discovered the one and true faith. It has now become so clear to me and I would like to share this enlightenment with all the members of this board especially those of little faith.

I now present you with the frequently asked questions about the Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be her hooves)

Frequently Asked Questions

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As dictated by Brother Shotput Junior

Who the hell is Brother Shotput Junior?

Wouldn’t you like to know? Wouldn’t we like to know, now you come to mention it. He turned up on the doorstep to the Temple one day, wrote this FAQ, posted it on the Internet, buggered the cat, and sodded off. If you happen to see Brother Shotput Junior around, tell him there’s one hell of a pissed off tabby after him, fresh out of traction (trust me, you don’t want to see one of those in traction), and baying for his blood, would you?

Do you do blood sacrifices?

Not as a rule, although Brother Pickles has requested one exception.

Who’s Brother Pickles?

I’ll tell him that, and I think he’ll be quite hurt, especially after the traction.

When are you going to get around to this FAQ?

Look, you, give us some time, all right? Honestly, you’re the one that’s been asking the questions, and in italics to boot. If you didn’t want an answer, you shouldn’t have asked them, or you should have asked someone who couldn’t read italics.

What is the IPU?

The IPU is the abbreviation for the Invisible Pink Unicorn (Peace Be Upon Her Holy Horn). The IPU is the Supreme Being, the creator of the universe and a guide for all Unicornians. She is not a Personal SaviourTM, which, in case you didn’t know, is a small, light blue prophylactic that comes in multipacks of six.

How can the IPU be both pink and invisible?

Unicornianism is based both on reason and faith. We have faith that the IPU is pink, and we know she’s invisible because we can’t see her.

Will I burn in hell if I don’t accept the IPU into my heart?

No need to accept her into your heart - not all of her would fit in, anyway, and baring internal organs for equine penetration can, quite frankly, get all pretty unhygienic. Just as long as you accept her teachings and lead a good life, you’ll get to go to the Convivium Eternal - the Unicornian equivalent of heaven (also referred to amongst our more progressive members as the Invisible Pink Beach Party). If you don’t lead a particularly good life, or you don’t accept Her Holiness’ teachings, then I’m afraid you’ll just have to make up for it in the afterlife first. That is, you’ll be given a personal mentor, who will work with you until you are fit enough to enter the Convivium. Depending on how ununicornly you are, it might be a short stop, or it might be a jolly long time, but if you’re willing to change, you’ll get to the Convivium eventually. N.B. One of the older myths around is of the Eternal Spiky Place, the Unicornian equivalent of Hell. This is no longer held as a physical reality, but more of a poetic metaphor for separation from the Convivium Eternal.

Why do supposedly ancient scriptures have modern references?

Because it has been a longstanding tradition for our scriptures to be constantly retranslated and updated with modern references, so that they do not become stagnant and out-of-touch with modern times. Thus, we have, for example, modern names such as ‘Stacy’ in the 2000-year-old document The Gospel of Sebastian the Unadulterated. Do not let this fool you, though - we have been around for thousands of years, and our doctrine is just as holy as yours, and has the added advantage of making great bedtime reading, especially certain writings by a chap named Drusus.

Why are all frogs bastards?

Frogs themselves are not bastards, but frog-worshippers are. Splitters. And so, while we’re on the topic, are worshippers of certain deities whose names involve a surplus of strangely unpronounceable consonants and not enough bloody vowels.

What is the IUR?

The IUR - the Institute for Unicorn Research - exists to glorify the name of the IPU, and to bring to light evidence for her existence and to propagate her Most Holy Words. (Such as, according at least to Plugsucker the Unwieldy, anemone, futtock, Tiptree, and pumpernickel.)

Is this some sort of damn fool parody site?

Certainly not! Whilst we Unicornians recognise the value of a good laugh (and you’ll see some amusing stuff on the site, for sure), make no mistake about this - we are serious about our religion. So serious, in fact, are we, that we keep a crack team of Digital Inquisitors to deal with any disheartening signs that people might not be taking things quite as seriously as they should.

Can I talk to you about (insert name of deity here) and give you one of these amusingly badly drawn pamphlets?

Yes, but unless you’re polite, gracious and courteous, sticking your head in a paper bag and whistling "Colonel Bogey" very loudly would probably elicit a more positive response. (Oh, and Sister Lavender requests that all pamphlets donated be soft, because she’s had enough of Shiny White Surrogate, and wants some Velvety-Quilted Substitute instead to use for toilet paper.)

I’ve heard that you let any sexual preferences in, over here...

Correct, we don’t go in for juvenile, intolerant, and depraved nonsense like homophobia. To start with, Brother Flowerpettl informs me that pink is a perfectly butch colour for men to wear (and believe me, you don’t mess with "Rhino" Flowerpettl), and secondly, we don’t take kindly to sexual stereotyping over here. The IPU embraces a wide range of sexualities (I mean, goodness gracious, look at Drusus!), and if you can’t deal with that, then to be frank, we really couldn’t care less.

Speaking of sex, I’ve heard something about orgies...

Yes, we have bi-monthly orgies every Friday night. On those Fridays where orgies are not held, we have a feast. Schoolgirl outfits are not allowed - we’ll have none of that Nicotine Creed claptrap over here, thank you very much, we’re staunch Kinky Bunch through and through.

Are you children of Satan?

Nope.

Why have you turned your backs on God?

(1) Which one?
(2) Does it do any tricks?
(3) Oh, come on, it must do something!
(4) No?
(5) No.
(6) Oh, well.
(7) Why have you turned your back on the Invisible Pink Unicorn?

You’re just a load of atheists, aren’t you?

But of course, there’s no such thing as gods. Nor, while we’re at it, are there such things as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Scissorman or the Sock Eater. The Invisible Pink Unicorn, on the other hand, is not a goddess, nor is she an amusingly named festive character, and she also has the extra advantage of actually existing. We might be atheists, but we’re also Unicornians through and through.

Do you really believe this?

The Codex and Novi are intended as food for thought, not literal truth, and anyway, who are you to tell us what to believe and what not to believe, eh?




If there are any of you who would like more information on this new and exciting religion please diret your selves thos this holy website

The Invisible Pink Unicorn

ha ha ha ha a a ha ha ha ha ha Namaste Sheri

I think that says enough!

That is it I have found the true religion.

Pink Unicorns rock.

101 i'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but if you are going to be addressing the goddess you must always type her name correctly and it must be followed with an epitath such as...

The IPU (blessed be her holy hooves) or the IPU (May Her Hooves Never Be Shod) or even the IPU (Peace Be Unto Her)

Follow these guid lines and you will surely find joy one the day of oats and hay...
oh and if by any chance there is a purple oyster that wants you to worship him.... umm that's the bad guy..... he tried to convince her loyal followers that pepperoni and mushroom pizza was much better than ham and pinaple..... thus he was cast out of the holy pasture....

Now should I convert? Orgies, tis tempting.



Well atleast it sounds like a safe religion.

Can I still practice a faith based in paganism, I mean like is it possible to be both a pagan and a follower of the IPU(Bless her little cotton hoofs)?

The IPU is nothing more than a false God trying to draw worship away from the true God.

Yes folks. The true God LGF wishes you to come to believe in it. Unlike the IPU, we know exactly what LGF looks like and we don't need faith to know what colour it is. Indeed, the IPU is biased against us LGF followers.......



The IPU is too afraid to directly attack the LGF, so it settles with attacking His mighty army of followers.

So come on everyone - the Little Green Frog is ready to accept any and all who follow. He won't even attack you for your belief in the IPU.

It has come to my attention that there are some people her promoting the bastard frog...... and if there should be anyone who mentions a very stealthy maroon pegasus it also should be ignored they only wish to lead you into temptation......

As for still wanting to worship pagan god I am sure the IPU (bbhhh) will understand so long as you give her her just respect...

For proof of the IPU (peace be unto her) it has been said that she goes around poking all non believers with her holy horn.... while most non believers accredit this to mosquitoes it is actually the IPU (pbuh) and the mosquitoes are only there because they are drawn to the goddess..... Like flies to a horse it seems...

Moving to an appropriate section.

I'm sorry what is a more appropriate section for this post so that in the futer i will know better?

Jokes and Humor...

Although I thought it was a pleasant respite from the usual spiritual threads.

well honestlythis seems just as real as other religions i don't know why we couldn't hve left it in that forum........ oh well

I agree, I'm seriuosly considering converting.

so we're back in religion vs skeptics?

Nopesorry it really is more a post for the humour section of the board.

But hey, at least it has been bumped back up once or twice.