Perhaps, my friends, a new religion is in order?

Current traditional religions are somewhat corrupted. People are too busy trying to spread their religion than actually follow it. Unfortunately, this results in bloodshed.

Plus, these religions were strung together not to suit today's society, but society many centuries ago. As human society has changed and moulded, principles have become useless and new principles have been needed.

Consequently, it is now I present to you:

Humanitarianism!!

As a humanitarian, you will be subject to:

- A cutting-edge balance between science and metaphysics.

- Modern-day principles.

- Mondays off.

- And so much more!!

Humanitarianism, as great as it is, is still under construction. Feel free to contribute any ideas or comments you have - let's build it together!

Regards,
Socrates

What flavor kool-aid do you offer?

A penguin for every school-child!

But seriously, you're right, the old religions aren't up to date. We need a religion that is actually tolerant (even though some say they are, they aren't really). That and something that applies to every day life now.

Kratos - Blueberry

OneEye - You're exactly right. Which is why humanitiarianism is for you!
I don't know why a new global religon hasn't been formed in so long. Perhaps because the other religions would censor it out!

Pretty good idea. But Humanity isn't a religion. It the way people do to one another. Otherwords, freewill. So saying that. Humanitarianism is in that too.

lol Sounds great in theory; it's the quote "..and so much more"...that worries me! For instance.....would this er...Denomination require a Tithe???

That is arguable. In a deeper respect, humanity is more than just a race, but a constantly changing society; an ideology. Is it not an ideology which is the base on which a religion is built?

Wait... do I still get my penguin?

Of course! We only have king or blue in stock. What's it gonna be?

We'ren't the humanitarians on the Simpsons?

Wait no.. they're the movementarians


Do you have fluffy toilet seat covers?

The ability to practice certain aspects of various religions on persons personal choice would be a good idea also. The blanket cover of all religions in one would cut down on prejudice I think, also would get rid of pesky limitations.

Tuesdays off too, then I'll consider it.

...throw in free beer Fridays and I'm there!

They're fluffy, but I'm afraid they're yellow.

Indeed. But then when you consider the borderline parameters and untold egos and inner insanitums of the current global religions, you will see that such 'pesky limitations', are infact contradictions of the religion's very principles, rolled into one. Religion is war.



I'm afraid true humanitarians are avid wine-drinkers.

^So are catholics. I would know

Yes, I like wine.

I would like a king penguin. Emperor or macaroni would be cooler, but I'll take it.



His name is Ned.

He likes Baywatch.

NANANANANANA LEADER

movmentarian: "if you could have eternal happiness, or all the beer in the world, what would you choose?"

homer: "what kinda beer?"

OneEye, you have shown great initiative and worthyness in this religion, more so than anyone else. You are obviously a very keen humanitarian.

Thus, I hereby promote you to the position: "Head minister of penguin maintenance."

You are now a fully fledged, high ranking officer in this religion.

Yes!!! Penguin maintenance! Just what I always wanted...

The first 10 convertee's will get not only the penguin of their choice (only blue or king at the moment), but also they will get a years supply of penguin food! You heard right!

For the rest of you... I dunno, at least you get a penguin...

Blue penguin

King Penguin

Penguin food

Okay, I kid on the last one

Join!

Oh, but OneEye! You forgot to mention the special edition penguin-polish we have to offer! Next person to join receives a free bottle!

Oh, Socrates, so sorry, but this religion stresses forgiveness, so it's no big deal! Isn't this great, people?