A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No. That's not true. That's impossible! Nooooooo!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke... you know it to be true.

Luke: NOOoooo!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! ... Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: But... I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Nobody loved me... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... the Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

Hmmm, looks like you gotta be a Star Wars fan to appreciate this one. Sorry, no more Star Wars jokes from me.

I promise.

I'm not a really big fan of Star Wars and I do remember seeing that scene on tv. It would be funny to have had those lines in the movie.

As a star wars fan i can tell you that this is very funny.




Rogue

Hilarious! Yeah Luke was a late bloomer!

*rofl* actually, it was priceless...& so true ~ such a vivid reminder of how misguided star wars has become; the originals (w/out the director's add-ins) will remain as fav..

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lol that was funny

More, more....

I loved it thanks for that

That was funny.

lol thats a good one, post more

LMAO

That was great!

And another thing: How can Princess Leia know her mother when Luke doesn't? Padme died on the birthing table. Weird....

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But at that stage Luke was telling Leia that she was his sister. Anyway that was my interpretation. He asks her if she remembers her mother, and he says that he doesn't remember. Leia says that she was sad (because of Darth Vader?)

Being a HUGE Star Wars fan... I can say that was GREAT!!!

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Yeah, that was my way of rationalizing it. But I still put it under the contradiction label between the original and the prequals.

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THAT WAS SWEET! I love Star Wars and I think I know too much about it. Write some more!!

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*dies* Are you insane!!??

They are awesome, with fantastic special effects. How can you possibly say those things...

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NOOOOOOOO!!!!

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You know, I love to point out that he only had one facial expression .....this one:


"Master! Investigation is implied in our mandate!"

"Jedi buisiness, back to your drinks."

"My mother's in pain!"

"I will be the most powerful jedi ever!"

"The council doesn't trust me!"

And the final classic...

"I love you so much Padame! I'm smiling! Honest I am! "

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I do have to disagree with you on the point of yoda using a lightsaber though That fight scene turned Clone Wars from a crap movie into a watchable movie, just like Darth Maul did for Phantom Menace. They're jedi after all, and using a lightsaber is one of the fundamentals of a jedi's training.

We can agree that messing around with the first three films was just a sad attempt at strangling a little extra money out of people, by convincing them to buy the same movies again.

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He told him that because he didn't want Luke to instantly react by attacking...combat should be a jedi's last resort to resolve a problem. But it doesn't mean mean they shouldn't know how.

Let's remember there was a time when yoda was just a padawan too he must have learned to use a light saber somewhere along the line, and no self respecting jedi would allow themselves to become so dependant on the force that it was their only means of defending themselves.



I don't think jedi could apply the force in that manner...well...Yoda possibly could, but I don't think the jedi code would allow him to do so. They're not really supposed to apply the force as an offensive weapon. While you do see Yoda bouncing people's lightning back at them, you won't see him creating any himself...most of the jedi "force" attacks are soft form, knocking people to the ground, immobolising them, or throwing them backwards - choking someone with the force, or electrocuting them would probably be seen as a vile misuse of the force.

OMG! hahaha that joke was freaking hilarious.... ahhahahaa

That was great. The only that rivals that would be the ending of the third episode. Now, correct me if I'm wrong; but at the end, when the table was raising Darth vador to his feet...did anyone else hear a flash charging up? Because I could have sworn I heard the flash of a disposable camera charging as his eyes began to glow red. :/

Well despite the critisims I love all the Star Wars movies. A true die-hard fan

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Scooby, I think that ^^ was intended for the Masons Thread??

Dude, thats a totally awesome joke

I loved the joke,
Got a star wars question here, but I wasnt the series of movies based on books? I was wondering how true the movies were to the books

no, they were merely based on lucas's screenplay, no books.

BTW about yoda not using a lightsaber in the original trilogy, you have to remember that Yoda lost his saber in the duel with The Emperor. and if the acting was bad in the New Trilogy, well then the acting is equally as bad in the Original Trilogy. (Both Trilogies of which have exceptionally good acting. not Oscar performances, but just good enough to be believable.)

The books were written based on the movies