On to the topic now...
This place is just outside of Croatia's capital.
A castle built around 1876 by one of the oldest Croatian aristocratic families who date from 13th century.
Also, the family is known by their Masonic roots and history and there was a time where Masons of Croatia gathered at that very castle.
My friend took me there by accident. I was bored and he drove me there, knowing of my affection for such buildings.
Even from the distance, I felt a great thrill, even though I did not know where I was being taken.
We arrived there around 11pm and the first thing I did when I got out of the car was this - I walked to the northern tower and stared at the top window for about half an hour.
The next thing I remembered was his hand on my shoulder asd him asking me why I am crying. I didn't know I was crying. But then I got around. The feeling of the place was utterly overwhelming and constantly making me dizzy, while my heartbeats bewildered.
I spent most of the night by that tower or at the front staring at the black windows.
The park surrounding it, the building itself were giving me the sensation of life all around, very old life, it was like being in a dark room and having that feeling you're not alone, or sensing the tv must be on, but clearly it isn't.
From that first time I felt welcome at the place.
Each time I set foot on the ground, I felt a great peace coming over me, like entering a cloud. I felt like home, I guess.
The windows at the front were still giving me an eerie feeling, but there was something else forbidding that odd feeling from taking over me and the peace I was given.
Like being welcomed by a child. At once, I knew there was more to this place than meets the eye.
I was being drawn to it, by the child-spirit, as I called it, unable to define it in any way.
And each time I come, I would cry by the northern tower, looking at the top window. The top window was the one with calmness oozing from it. The front windows were dark, jet-black, as though painted on the house and there was nothing good among what I felt from looking at those. I guessed my child-spirit must have resided at the tower's top room.
Later my suspicions were confirmed by a photo taken there, as I loved the place and took quite a lot of photographs.
Once I find the photo, I will surely post it here, I must.
I used to wake up there in the morning in the car, looking at the dawn in the sky and the feeling of it was much too familiar. The way the park looked in dawn, the way the castle looked in dawn, everything, in my mind I knew how the entire park looked like in the morning if observed from one of the windows, more precisely, the top one of the tower.
I felt like I knew this place.
A month has passed and when I got back, something very disturbing happened. Even while we were driving there, at the first sight of the park that surrounds the castle, I felt extremely disturbed. That feeling then evolved into fear as I stepped out of the car and approached the main entrance where the blackened windows were. At that point, after staring at the windows for a minute, fear turned into genuine panick. I couldn't move for a short while, I was just standing there, breathing shallowly and staring at the windows. I sensed absolutely no peace anywhere in the park, and especially near the castle, and I couldn't sense the presence that used to welcome me before, the child-spirit. Then came back the fear and mixed with panick. I feared for the presence of which I knew must be innocent and young, just as a child would be. Instead, I sensed a threat, all around me.
I felt like if I would to make just one wrong step on a wrong place, the hostility I felt in the air would explode and I would just fall down dead. My hands started to shake.
It was as though I was suddenly no longer welcome there. As though the child-spirit was the one lonely and attracting me to that place which was forgotten for decades, and probably more, by the likes of me who are overly sensitive to such things. I presumed it needed company and thus it welcomed me the first time and called me back ever since. But not this time. It was like the child has been locked away from the outer world and me, and for the very reason of welcoming and calling for me. It seemed that the rest, the elders (as I later named that which gave me the feeling of being threatened to) didn't want anyone there at all, and since I was already there, they have put the young spirit away from me.
I knew I had to leave as soon as possible, the presence I've felt was much too strong, stronger that that of a child-spirit and it was like being miles under the sea with no protection from the pressure of the water.
I had to go emediately, or else (and I was extremely sure of this) I would certainly just collaps without a sound and die, just like that, unplugged from the lifestream. I ran to the car and begged to return to the city or anywhere else, but here. This was my shortest visit, I was there for about 15 minutes, while earlier I used to stay until the morning.
As we drove off from the park, which was more like a forest with a pond in the middle, I felt such strong force behind me, like someone was sitting on the back seat of the car, I felt like a giant hand would come out of park after us and crush me down, I felt like I could almost hear the screams, voices yelling and threatening. I wanted to get out of its sight as fast as possible.
Only on a parking lot did I ease. There was no panick, but the sensation of their presence didn't go away. I was in state of shock and sure that I would die the minute I go back there. But suddenly I remembered the child-spirit. It was like this - like there was a crowd of older people, adults, threatening me to terminate the child-spirit to which I have grown fond of and grateful for the feeling it gave me every time I was there, if I ever go back. It was clear to me I wasn't wanted. A sensitive person wasn't wanted there, it disturbed them, and for what reason, I do not know.
But suddenly I wanted to go back, I felt there was a danger for the child-spirit, and apparently I was the one that got it in trouble, and I couldn't just leave it be, I was almost histeric from the thought of abandoning it to those who were obviously hostile, I feared for it very much, I felt it calling for me, and I knew if I don't go back, it will be terminated somehow for bringing me there, and if I do go, I will be terminated.
I didn't go. My friend refused to take me back for quite some time, after that night.
I went back only a month after, after assuring him nothing will happen and that it's over now.
My peace wasn't as gentle anymore. There was peace, I knew the spirit was still there and was not harmed...but it seemed to me like a man who has nothing left would seem. Empty, sad and full of melancholy, a broken man. A broken spirit.
I believe that a month later I have decided to photograph the castle again, and I photographed the front, black windows. When I looked at the photo, my skin crawled. On one of the windows there was something that resembled to a head.
I spent hours pondering on it, calculating what else it might have been. There were no trees from which something fould fall down. There were no bugs. Even if it was something of those two, the obvious laws of physics simply wouldn't allow it to look like that on the photo, it was impossible.
So, there...the first photo shows a figure at the top window of the northern tower, which attracted me the first time I got there, and what I presume to be the child's room, if it indeed was once a living and breathing human. The silhouette, I think, is the child itself, though behind it there is another one, taller and much less visible. The child seems to have white hair, though that might be because of the blue filter. Not neccessarily, though. The photo was filtered through blue, and I do apologize for the quality for it was taken by a cellphone camera, the day I first got there, when it was still late afternoon.
The second one is the one presenting, what I assume to be, a head, possibly of a child, since I felt the same feeling as I felt when I got there after the incident, emptyness and melancholy.
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For more photos of the castle itself, I'd be more than glad to mail them or upload them somewhere.
I would really wish to know your opinion on this, for I'm afraid I do not dare tell this to people that surround me, nor do I think they'd be able to give me proper opinions on the subject.
