Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth, died Friday on Mount Calvary, also known
as Golgotha, the place of the skull. Betrayed by the apostle Judas, Jesus
was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate.

The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture,
and loss of blood.

Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of
David. He was the Son of God Alimghty, an adopted son of Joseph, a carpenter of
Nazareth, and Mary, His devoted Mother.

Jesus was born in a stable in the city of Bethlehem, Judea.
He is survived by His mother Mary, His faithful Apostles,
numerous disciples, and many other followers.

Jesus was self educated and spent most of his adult life working as a
Teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a Medical Doctor and it is
reported that he healed many patients.

Up until the time of His death, Jesus was teaching and sharing the Good
News, healing the sick, touching the lonely, feeding the hungry, and
helping the poor.

Jesus was most noted for telling parables about His Father's Kingdom and
performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five
loaves of bread and two fish, and healing a man who was born blind.

On the day before His death, He held a Last Supper celebrating the
Passover Feast, at which He foretold His death.

The body was quickly buried in a stone grave, which was donated by
Joseph of Arimathea, a loyal friend of the family. By order of Pontius Pilate,
a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on
guard.

In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to live
as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.

It would more likely read:

Jesus bar Joseph of Galilee, 33, was executed Friday as a rebel. He was a well known magician, faith healer and controversial cult leader. Claiming to have been born in a city that has been in ruins for 300 years and to reside in a village that does not exist, Jesus had founded a small personality cult of rebels and ne’er-do-wells that travelled about the country pushing seditionious agendas, while extorting money from the lonely, widowed and gullible as the price of membership in the cult. Prior to Passover, Jesus and a core of his most trusted seized the Temple complex, throwing out the merchants, worshippers and priests. It took two cohorts of Roman Legionaries to retake the complex, at the request of Jewish religious authorities. Captured alive, Jesus was tried before the Roman Praetor, Pontius Pilate, found guilty of sedition and executed by crucifixion on Friday. Although rumored to have been released to friends, contrary to Roman practice, the rebel’s body was actually deposited in the local Carnetorium in the normal manner for rebels.

Really beautiful, Nxt2Hvn.

that was pretty Nxt.

yes nice work nxt
Although I would most defiantly have to go with Pontius Pilate for historical accuracy...

That was a nice obituary, but quite heavily embellished. I guess everyone is entitled to creative expression.

All in what one believes... as far as "historical accuracy goes"

Actually I quite liked both well done the two of you.

Nothing like a bit of poet license though

well to an extent except for the fact that there is no historacal evidence that jesus ever existed... no to mention the romans wouldn't have looked to kindly on the cult at the time either so... what ever you believe i guess...

I liked Pontius Pilate's.

I liked the 'Real' Pilates obituary if one could call it that, which he had placed above Jesus on the cross. Not "he claimed to be", but an emphatic statement.

Show contemporary secular evidence that this "statement" was placed on the cross.

Any one can raise issues of authenticity, i happen to believe that the gospels are historically accurate, this is another debate.
Show me contemporary secular evidence that the statement was not placed on the cross, the historical record is there to be disproved not vice versa!

Notice the signature of Pilate... lol that's harsh

Someones got way to much time on their hands.

I am not the one making the claim, you are. The weight of proof rests on the claimant, not the challenger. Give your contemporary secular evidence.

I kinda liked Pontius Pilate

why do certain religious types always make claims then when asked to prove it, they insist instead that someone prove them wrong...

it just doesn't make sense to me...

wow, two cohorts. Jesus must have been a ninja.
i can see film opportunites already. The Passion of the Fist, starring Keanu Reeves as Jesus Christ!

well, he has already played the messiah many times.buddha, neo, bill and ted. why not?

I am not making any claims, the gospels are. As the writers are not around to defend their words it seems it is uo to you to refute them, or accept them. I simply accept them as historically accurrate. If you dont why not??

Maybe the fact that they were written generations after the fact, they don't really agree with each other, they show little understanding of the geography, mores, customs, etc of the area, people and time that they are writting about, just for starters. Incidentally by quoting them as accepted, you are making a claim based on them

There was a man who, like all men. lived, died and disappeared.
Twenty decades after his death there raged debates
About who he was, where he was, if he was . . . .
And no matter what conclusion is reached
One fact remains.
He split time in two.

Please give evidence of the innaccuracies in geography, and especially history, in the gospels. Not just a list of assertions but reasoning for the list.

wonderful iaapac, truly wonderful

Disappeared?

Usually, if no one knows or can prove where someone has gone, it is correct to say they disappeared

Christians know where he is, and there is proof, depends if you believe it or not. So yes you are right it is a matter of opinion, and yours is he disappeared. But it was a statement not everyone will accept.

Keanu Reeves wooden acting might not be able to compare to Jesus' strong emotional life.

"I came here to save the world...DUDE!"

Hah that'd be worth the $10.50!

And I sincerely respect your opinion. As for my position, there is no grave, no marker, no written account, only a report of a resurrection. The question is, however, of how credible is that report since in the earliest copy of Mark, as an example, the resurrection is not mentioned.

I bet the tombstone would read:

Of course, I'm dead,
Just what were you thinking?
That I would be back,
Like I was G-d or something?


P.S., written by UM's very own, number one Jew, and not intended to offend.

interestingly written in the first person, as if he were alive. spooky.

You believe a God exists. Proove it. You can't? Ok, then stop getting on people for believing things without proof.


Tsk Tsk.

This thread is serving as proof that evolution does not exist!

If evolution existed, then why aren't the threads evolving past the Neanderthalic "You can't prove it so there" era.

Some people still want to 'prove' there is God...some want to 'prove' there isn't....the end result is 'proof' that evolution does not exist.

Come on...Evolve People!

we need not worry about an obituary for Christ as he is alive today.

Both opening posts are very enjoyable reads. The power of words at its finest

I will give you my favorite geographic inaccuracy - Mark 7:31 Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis. Mark had them going from Tyre through Sidon and then to the Sea of Galilee and into the Decapolis. This is rather strange since to go to the Decapolis by way of Sidon would make you travel many extra miles. There was a Roman road (portions still exist) that went directly from Tyre to the Decapolis region! As I said, no knowledge of the geography of Palestine. Historical inaccruracy, Luke has Jesus born during the governorship of Cyrenius (6-9 CE) and Matthew has him born during the reign of Herod the Great (no later than 2 BCE), a 10 year discrepancy/historical inaccuracy. That is just two of the many.

a christian would answer that galilee moved since then, or that both were accurate, in their own way.

then about the birth-if you were saved you would understand! tada! he was born at two different times! satan placed the wrong one (you would know if you were saved which), to confuse people.

No, I'd just say that Jesus traveled to many towns, why would he need to go directly from Tyre to the Decapolis? Perhaps he had things to do in Sidon.

As for the second, I've been thinking about this one for a while, and have come up with a theory. It was (and is) not uncommon for two different historically accurate accounts to have discrepencies in their facts. It is, for example, known that Judah (not Israel, they'd been done in by the Assyrians 150 odd years earlier) was conquered by Babylon. Yet depending on which historical document you read, it might have happened anywhere from 597 BC to 587 BC - a *gasp* ten year difference. Most curent histories and commentaries will therefore write something like: "conqured in 597-587BC".

Despite the conflicting views, it is considered to have been a genuine event, even used by the skeptics on this forum as fact.

Just a thought.

Regards, PA

"He had a lot to say......"

satan placed the wrong one (you would know if you were saved which), to confuse people.
[/quote]




Tell me you're joking . . . .

I quite like both. An interesting idea to think of, well done!

Now I wanna see the obituary of hide...

both what? both which?

Both obituaries. There's two. Sorry for confusing you!

so you agree that the nt is incorrect, therefore not infallible? a forgery of the fourth century? you keep swearing that it is incontrovertible truth. make a decision.

i am quoting standard xian logic.as in "dinosaur bones were placed by satan." or "mithras was really satan, deceiving people in advance, since he knew jesus would be born."

Then I suppose the Nag Hammadi Scrolls were placed there by Satan. Satan erased every evidence of Jesus' existence. Satan removed all records of a census that reportedly took Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem. Satan permitted some children to survive the slaughter of Herod since subsequent census`contained people whose age indicated they would have been born at that time. Anything that cannot be justified or proven can be assigned to Satan and we will call that "standard Christian logic."

What part of my post did I say the NT was incorrect? I said conflicting dates does not necessarily mean it is incorrect. Read my anecdote of the Babylonian exile again, and stop doing what you do with the Bible and only take half my post, and that out of context

Regards, PA

but a man is only born once, not ten years apart. we are examining your infallible n.t., not some later historian's work, unless you are now accepting the obvious answer that the books were written hundreds of years later. you can not have it both ways. if one gospel disagrees with another, then one of them is wrong. your premise is that, somehow, these books come from a perfect God instead of a group of bishops trying to rush things to please an emperor. make up your mind. If there really were a messiah, and his birth was heralded by all the events indicated, there would be some documentation. if God was behind it, the details would "click". if it were a patchwork thrown together 400 years later, there would be a lot of disagreements, since it was a rush job. Theodosius - do you even know who he was? do you care? your anecdote does not hold water, since you are defending the supposed word of God. I took nothing out of context.



Agreed-thanks for proving my point further.

And a nation is only exiled once. If you can give me an EXACT date for the exile, and I believe there are contemporary records of this time period, you might just have a case.

I also remember Saucy (havne't seen him around for a while; where he got to?) linking something that showed exactly how the dates could fit, putting together all the relevant data. I don't remember exactly what it said, but I do recall that specific link being totally ignored, which implies much to me. But since I cannot remember specifics, I guess I have no case here.

Regards, PA