Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
Full Version: 10 thoughts for 2006
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Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Gawd...that is SO true!
Great find!
yea that was VERY funny lmao 
Sounds like these would be from Letterman. I like number 1 though.
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Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
This one is my favorite.
QUOTE(Nxt2Hvn @ Jan 6 2006, 11:54 AM) [snapback]1008520[/snapback]
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
This is my all time favorite one
This has changed my entire perspective on life
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Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Far Out Man . .
HAHAHA, very funny. THis was my favourite:
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
As for number 8, I know it's joke people...but hungry and horny are not emotions.
QUOTE(Paranoid Android @ Jan 8 2006, 11:19 AM) [snapback]1011482[/snapback]
HAHAHA, very funny. THis was my favourite:
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
It wasn't the funniest, but it was the truest
I didn't tought that was funny, taxes are never funny
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Months even
Months even
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Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
That was the best one by far.
QUOTE(Nxt2Hvn @ Jan 6 2006, 11:54 AM) [snapback]1008520[/snapback]
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
p.s. i love the last one, i've heard it before on UM though.
lol.cool
Hahaha, good thoughts!
haha, they where so good that I had to copy them and add them to my blog
(on a nother hompage)
(on a nother hompage)
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Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
It would be funnier if it wasn't true.
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Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Again. Truth adds the scary factor to humor. Lay off the "legal" meds folks.
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We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
We can find the source of tainted edibles quickly due to constant tracking and documentation of food stuffs distributed around the US.
Try treating humans the same way and you suddenly live in a fascist "big Brother" society where all that matters to citizens is their privacy being invaded. To hell with the protection and safety of the rest of the world.
Sorry, guess I wasn't in the mood for a joke.
Haha, I love these. They were all very funny, but this one just stood out:
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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