The following is my own experiences and thoughts and opinions. it is not intended to offend those who walk in faith.

As a child I suffered many challenges. I remember seeing Jesus on the cross for the first time and feeling such understanding and compassion for him because I had understood how it felt to suffer. I became a devout Christian in order to share my love of Jesus with others. However I quickly realized that Christians were just as capable as the next person of being unkind. The difference was that they turned to God through Jesus to correct the problem.

I began seeking out my purpose in life and the meaning of life beyond what I was told it was from a book or a pulpit. It would become one of the greatest spiritual revolutions of my life and transformations of my mind. I left the church and lost friends over it. I grew increasingly angry with the church and the religion. At the time I was being told I was falling away from Christ. I divorced my husband and also at that time the church was allowing him to go on mission trips to other countries knowing full well he wasn't paying child support. So needless to say I was feeling resentment at the time.

The funny thing was that karma bit me at the time. When I was in the church I shared the idea that I was persecuted as a Christian and I was always preaching. Yet now the tables were turned on me. Not only were these same people placing their judgements on me but I was living in part of the world where it is predominatly Christian. During a visit to my attorney to go back to court my attorney remarked that the judge was Christian and would not take kindly to me living with my fiancee and not be married. He thought it would cause me to lose my children regardless of the fact that my fiancee loved them dearly. Than during that time I went to work for christians who became very passionate and vocal about their religion. They often sent the employees faxes and emails telling them Jesus loved them and also flat out telling people they were going to hell if they didn't accept Christ.

Needless to say I hid the fact that I no longer considered myself a part of the religion and I finally understood how others had felt when I had preached to them.
It was not too long ago I began coming out a little bit on another discussion forum. Yet I still struggled with where I stood and felt guilt about abandoning my religion, it sometimes caused me to falter in being true to myself. I made friends with many non-believers as the other Christians there steered clear of me or when they did send me emails they told me I needed to turn back to Christ or that Satan had a hold of my heart. It wasn't long before I got caught up in a spiritual war there that consumed me and nearly destroyed the path I had so diligently sought to better myself.

Through all this I have learned some pretty valuable lessons about myself and about others. Just yesterday I came out and told some devout christian family members I no longer consider myself to be a aprt of that religion but that I still am inspired by Jesus. it was not taken to, too kindly to be honest. I know from now on there will be judgement to face from them but I feel if I'm going to be honest I should go all the way and not be afraid of being ridiculed by anyone for the path I chose.

I shared these things because I understand truly both sides of the coin. I understand what its like when people don't want to hear about jesus and group you with every other christian and I understand whats it like to be judged for not being one. But I'd like to close with this; no matter what religion you are or are not as long as you have love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, and humility stay true to that. I find myself on a path of wanting to better myself as a human being and I think sometimes its about finding religion and sometimes its about losing it.

Stargazer123
Losing one religion is not necessarily a bad thing our spiritual growth and our faith is far more important than the people we hang out with or going to church every Sunday.
I feel from your post that the greatest problem you had was your ex husband and because he has close ties to the church you may be throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Remember that it was not Jesus you divorced it was someone of unequaled yoke. Nothing has really changed between you and God. If it is a spiritual crisis of conscious you are in and I am off base with my assumption time will tell you what is right and wrong, do not fear it just consider it apart of your journey.


Having faith is equivalent to having hope, only it is directed more specifically to a reason.
Many on these forums see the word faith and immediately set out to debunk outright as it is were a fire that needs to be extinguished immediately.
Faith is as simple as believing the sun will rise tomorrow so I make my plans for its eventuality.
Yet it is so powerful that Jesus said,” for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you”. Mat 17:30
Why does something that is so simple and yet so powerful causes so much grief with those that do not possess it? Yet those that have it feel they could not get by a day without it.
To Me, Faith is hope that tomorrow will come.
Best wishes on your journey
Irish

Mormon?

excellent post.. I have nothing to say now.. just excellent post.. Also stargazer.. i two wish you good luck on your journey through life... May you find what you seek

Irish.
First thank you for your thoughts. Some of my resentment at the time was the situation I found myself in with the church and my ex-husband. However my problems with the church started before he or I were apart. I just did not agree with their views and approaches. Over all the truth is I just began to see things differently. I didn't agree with what almost every modern church was teaching and I could not remain a part of a religion that I felt was supressing me from moving forward spiritually.

Believe me Irish I struggled to come to the decision. It was no easy thing and especially because now I had people telling me I was never truly saved because I did not see the bible or the religion in the same light they did and that was taught. I began tearing apart scripture, looking at the history of the religion and realizing that although it will always remain some part of me it does not define me. I cried almost everyday over leaving the church and the term "christian" behind. I actually prayed one day when I was still teetering and asked for an answer and opened my bible to this verse;
LUKE 7:50 "Then he said to the woman 'your faith has saved you go in peace.'"

there is no doubt in my mind that chosing the path I have was right for me. I see truths in many religions truths in non-religions. I think there is a common goal with different paths.
You are right I did not divorce Jesus but I do not share the same idea of his teachings as most christians do and just as personal opinion I do not believe God would make us the way we are only to tell us we could not come home except through belief. But this is my thought of course. Irish thank you for your post. I respect yout thoughts and faith.
I have faith in what I believe to be God it just is not the same as others ideas of God.

Bella
Baptist....

Thank you....and to you also.

Star I think you drew to yourself a great gift for the first time everything started to fall into sense, everything unlike unconditional love will come to the surface to be healed if one allows the process. so few have the courage to question itself . It seems you woke up, the best teacher is life itself I know this journey and i can tell you i love my life and want everything i have, it will only get better from here. you will find your way and don't be surprised if along the way you inspire a few people. A beautiful story thankyou for sharing so honestly your growth a great read my dear. namaste Sheri

Sheri
I know you feel that love. Life is a great journey and a healing process all the time.
its a miracle in itself. I do feel I have awakened and I know its a different for others in their journeys but as for me its about love and I think once you have it everything else falls into place. Thank you I really do appreciate and respect your thoughts.

As i do yours and your refreshing to read, I forgot to put few have the courage to question let alone honor the answers they find, thus discovering that you were all you needed all along, that the answers were in you to begin with. For myself that was the best moment and the most freeing yet I have much to learn i have only begun namaste sheri

Stargazer, I sympathize with your plight. It always cuts a little deeper every time I hear of stories where Chrsitians have acted nothing like Christians should. It gives Christians a bad wrap.

That aside, I can only speak from my personal experience, and that is to say that I am being ridiculed more for being Chrisitan than I ever was for not being a Christian 7 years ago. I'll go to the pub on Saturday night, and when the people I'm chatting with ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I say I'm going to church. The next thing I know I have ten people all laughing at me, "Why do you believe that silly religion" "Aren't you guys not allowed to drink" "Ooooh, look, we have a preacher man here"..... the list of derogatory comments are endless. And this is only one example.

I guess it depends on circumstances. No one enjoys being singled out, whether they are a Christian or a non-Christian. There's not much I can really say. I just thought I'd share this with you, to let you know you're not alone, everyone deals with something like what you are going through.

Just a thought.

Regards, PA

IMO christians have a right to a social life just like anyone else...its ignorant to say they cant
BUT there are christians that dont believe in drinking.........some go as far as not watching tv they think tv is evil....I lived beside a family that wouldnt have anything entertaining in their home

I had a family like that living across the street when I was younger. I went to school with one of the kids. He thought Home Alone was a horror, because the poster had Mackauly Caulken (sorry, I don't remember how to spell his name) screaming.

Anyhow, they were also part of a very specific religious group. A sect/cult if you wish to call it that (though I didn't really care to find out about their beliefs too much - I wasn't into religion as a child, and they moved about 10 years ago now).

Regards, PA

Hey, I group in a home were TV's were considered the DEVILS BOX!!!
Theaters were evil, except IMAX.
So were sports stadiums.
Oh and drums, because they came from africa, and were used for demon worship.
Oh yea, drinking alcohol was like a one way ticket to hell.
And rock music.
And jewlery, and makeup.......and the list goes on.

All justified by one bible verse or another.

Makes you relize there are so many different interpetrations of the Bible out there, hence all the different denomenations. Which one is right? Who has the right or best interpetation?

Then I relized there is no such thing as 'right' and 'wrong' only what works and dosent work depneding on what it is you wish to do, seek or have.

It's true that there are many interpretations out there. It's also true that some interpretations are more correct than others.

In my opinion, of course.

Regards, PA

stargazer123, losing your religion is not a bad thing. Religion, or the elitist designation of spiritual ideals and values, is a man made institution based on acquisition and power.

Hold to that which calls your spirit to respond and awaken to that unique voice of "self" inside you and you shall then know what it means to embrace what you are; spirit. Having a human experience. And in so doing one can commune with and honor the essence of that self which is the first temple of creation endowed with the gifts of the creator. That is what spirituality is and that no man made construct can ever understand.

Well said I.Friend

I didn't lose my religion, but I am religionless because I didn't see that I ever gained anything useful out of worship.

PA I understand I did face that too at times as a christian but sometimes I did deserve it to be quite honest because I was preaching. However I do understand how you feel as well.
I wanted to give my standpoint on how it was to be a part of a community and than leave that community to have it judge you. I know many people have to face ignorance judgement and egotism no matter their beliefs.

I'm learning the best thing to do is either ignore such remarks or contribute by bringing an intelligent light without anger or getting caught up in their energy or ignorance. Of course sometimes thats easier said than done.. I think if the world just had more understanding or made the effort that maybe by understanding another we might understand ourselves better. believe me the things I hate about others behavior are the things that also live in myself many times. By understanding them I understand myself a little better. I know lots of others face what I had to in different ways and I know I'm not alone I'm just hoping to find a way to better respond to such ignorance.
Thanks for sharing PA.

Very true, there are many denomenations out there that have false doctrine one of them is baptist, with the "once saved always saved " totally unbiblical,

another one is, sprinkle babtism thats unbiblical, True babtism is full imersion and the fire that is holy spirit

IF.
Thank you very much that was beautiful. My realization of spirit and goodness from within has been one of the most remarkable things of all. Feeling not seperate from that which is divine, but a apart of it. I am truly just that spirit having some sort of human experience.......very odd but very wonderful.

Thanks for this topic, stargazer. The details are different, but it's very similar in tone to my 'religious' story. I grew up Baptist and was force-fed it to the point I caved in for a while and tried to 'join the flock'. It was always hollow and for lots of reasons I won't go into I was able to get back to being myself again and got my life back.

But it's hard. I like how you phrased it as "I came out to a family member" when you told them you were no longer religious, because it is a taboo in fundamentalist household.

I've lived in the Deep South (gah...the shiny brass buckle on the Bible Belt) for years and am counting down the weeks to liberation. (less than 6!!)

Yeah I'm living in that neck of the woods as well just one state over from you dear so I'm there with ya!
It can be trying but I like the weather. You know I really did and do feel like I have been an "in the closet ex-christian." I'm lucky though that my sister intially wne through it and has been supportive. She actually took my mother's religion of Judiaism and than became agnostic and her husband is currently Atheist but won't tell his family who is Jewish. So its interesting to see that it happens to alot of people attempting to break away from the tradition. Thanks for posting and sharing as well.

I’m trying to keep from smarting off, but I find it humorous


Religion is Dead Jesus is not

God does not want a Religion with you he wants a Relationship

like a Relation ship with a Girl it takes time to develop a Relationship

and its all nice and all that you praise God but you forget Faith without works is dead

not all Religions lead to God, and just believing in any belief system wont get you to heaven,

the truth is there are pay offs, you just didn’t find them because you didn’t seek sincerely and if you did you gave up trails are meant to test and strengthen , God gives you only as much as you can handle and always leaves a way out.

So what belief system gets someone to heaven? Would it be yours?

A Bribe

There are two general types of religions out there.

1. Those where the purpose of the religion is to establish a relationship with the divine.

2. Those where the purpose of the religion is to establish and identity with the divine.


My belief system falls in the second category.

No belief system gets anyone to heaven. Only Jesus does. And he is not confined by the walls of a church building.

Just my opinion.

Regards, PA