id like to make a UM Story with everyone involved

any member here is welcome to contribute

i only have a few requests

could we please keep non-story involved comments short and sweet, so the story can have a flow for the reader

also, if it is written, so it will be. by that i mean, if i say i see a UFO whiz overhead and crash in the woods about a mile away, then someone on the next post says they live in those woods and the UFO turned out to be a Russian experimental craft that crashed, when i get on the scene i cant magically turn it into aliens.

last, id like to see all areas of the forum involved. if your area of intrest is crypto, by all means involve it, if it is paleo or any other involve it as well

this story is just fiction, so it doesnt need to seperate believers and non-believers. you can write it however you see fit

when you add to the story yyou can add as much or as little as you like, one line or a whole paragraph

let's please keep it PG-13 so it doesnt get closed (mods if it is going along well, please consider editing instead of closing)


ok, let the journey begin

i cant wait to see what your warped minds come up with

OK....I'll start.....


Once upon a time.....



(obviously, I'm not much of a writer)

Great idea though....should be interesting.

Jack Burnsides lived in NYC. Well, once upon a time he lived in many different cities. Burnsides was in the CIA, but this time they had gone too far. Asked too much. They wanted him to kill his brother.

But then Burnsides brother Jim was was a former psychic spy and with his ability he'd accidentally uncovered the governments greatest secret. So now Jim was on the run for his life, at the moment he was hiding out in the forests of New Jersey.

Jim had thier sister Teri meet him out in the woods with supplies. She brought enough for him to survive for a week if he stretched, though he knew he couldnt stay put for that long, Jack would be on his way.

Meanwhile, in the city, Jack rushed to Jims townhouse. He didnt know what he would do when he got there, but he knew Jim shouldn't have killed Dr. Taylor to escape the CIA psychic testing lab.

Once Jack arrived at Jim's townhouse, it was cold and dreary. Jack tried not to notice the strange noises coming from the closed closet. Jack once remembered Jim telling him not to ever open up that closet. Jack stood there looking at the door and tried to fight the urge to open the door.

He grabbed a crowbar and popped it open.
There standing before him on the other side was.............Henry Gibson holding a flower.
"I thought you were dead!" Jack exclaimed.
"No. I was abducted by aliens and when they brought me back they put me in the wrong spot." He sighed. "Maybe your brother spending nights outside waving a flashlight and calling them chicken could have had something to do with it. Anyway, you let me out so you and I must hurry to Washington, DC as fast as possible."
Jack took a step back. "No way man, You might be Henry Gibson but I am not going to that rat hole.
"You have to," he replied. " We have to save the world."

"Henry, if we're going to Washington, I'm going to have to quit the CIA", Jack said. "And if I do that, we may as well call Teri and find Jim. His abilities will come in handy."

"Ok, but let's hurry. I know they will be right behind us", Henry replied.

His sister hearing the commotion came in through the front door.
"What is going on? Where did that old flower power hippy come from?"
Gibson frowned. "I am not a hippy. I am an alien abductee."
"Yeah, whatever." She snapped as she tried to look past him into the closet.
Gibson waved his flower at her."You better take this seriously! Your brother discovered a secret conspiracy involving aliens and.........

No, you are a hippy. If you were abducted, why are you here?When I was abducted, OWCH! Like I said, when I was abducted, OWCH! ok, nevermind, that is going nowhere fast. It was a dark and stormy night, no that is something a dog would write. When I was abducted, OWCH, Dammit!. Do you guys know what an anal implant at 50,000 volts feeels like? Somebody buy me a beer and take me to Zaphrod.

At this point it was decided upon by all that the undying wisdom of a crustacean was needed; In despair, they cast about frantically for one such creature, but but none were to be seen, not so much as a lonely prawn.

Zox reread the order’s from central command, this just didn’t make any sense. ‘Divert to recover Anunnaki research personnel’, “Figure’s, more Anunnaki meddling I’ll bet” he said aloud. why would fleet command send his ship? They must know the Z’leztra had an older unshielded Zolf II drive. “This could be a problem”. the magnetic fields being displayed on the data pad swirled and danced around a rim world called earth...

Sorry, this was a forum fart.
The magnetic fields, turned out to be ghosts. They were very angry at what we were doing and insisted we turned back. However, we sprayed them with water and they dissapeared.

Jim awoke in the woods with a start. Teri must have brought him some powerful crack. No time to dwell on it now. As he started to collect his things he heard a noise behind him. Was it bigfoot, or just a loose ape from the Bronx zoo ?

Monkeys are running all overthe city! Help!

Then, for no reason whatsoever, the sky grew dark with clouds, and a faint cry could be heard off in the distance. "What the hell?" Jack said "Did you guys hear that?".
Without warning a large beast sprang out towards them, landing three fathoms away, curled down to the ground. The figure slowly rose, its full body height must surpass seven feet!. It had long arms and a tail, wings and clawed feet. The entire thing was covered in black scaled skin. The Jersey Devil has come.

(cue dramatic music incline)

Jack asked, "what the hell is a fathom?"
I dunno, just keep digging!

The Jersey Devil cackled loudly. It's mouth slowly opened, and it spoke "A fathom is six roughly feet...Stupid American." (The Jersey Devil is a Native to America...but nevertheless)

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out an intricately carved device, the artifact had been recovered from the Nazi’s after the second world war, found among samples and specimens brought back from antarctica in a 1938 expedition looking for Atlantis... the device felt odd in his hand as he raised it toward the Jersey Devil...

“I had to kill Dr. Taylor” Jim explained to his bigfoot companion Graal, “he was about to discover the real potential of my psychic abilities”, Graal grunted as Jim tossed him another scooby snack. “With the Atlantean holographic psychometric delinearator, that my bother found, I believe we can stop the insidious invasion plans of the yet unknown power X... what do you think Graal?”. “Graalll, grll, grollr!!” Graal said, sniffing at the slight breeze... “what?. oh, you want more scooby snacks!?”

The last thing Teri remembered was giving Jim his weekly supplies... “where am I” she wondered. Sitting up, slowly she looked around and saw she was in what looked like a doctor’s examining room, shiny metal cabinets were on the wall over a small desk, a metal chair nearby. The floor was covered by a dark green carpet, that almost looked like short grass. The walls were unpainted and looked like cement. The bed was also metal, the pad a soft green material. The odd green light seemed to come from the entire seamless ceiling. A smooth brown door was to the left of where she now sat on the beds edge. “No doorknob?” she said aloud as she approached the portal. She thought for a moment, then knocked on the door “Hello, where am I? can somebody help me?” she called out, continuing to knock ever louder...

Suddenly the door slid open with a snap, an inky blackness beyond... “hello, is someone there?” Teri’s voice was swallowed by the thick darkness. casting a quick glance over her shoulder, she thought the light from the room was getting dimmer. “What was that?” she had seen something move in the threshold. Glowing red eyes suddenly locked with hers...

“Mothman” Teri whispered... the seven foot tall creature was a very dark brown and seemed to glide as it entered the room, it’s insect like wings changed color with it’s every motion, it’s arms were held close to it’s narrow chest, in an almost mantis like position, shiny black talons tipped it’s long segmented fingers. and the eyes, the eyes were huge, and Teri felt compelled to look into them... she suddenly felt like she was falling. The darkness surged around her...

With a start, Teri became aware of lying on the floor of the examination room, the carpet was cool next to her skin and smelled like mint when she took a deep breath. “Why would I be wet” Teri wondered aloud, her head still spinning. reaching up to her blouses collar, her fingers came away wet and sticky, she studied her fingers in the dim light. “Blood” she gasped, “my blood” she said her voice approaching hysteria... she could feel two small punctures on her neck, the blood was slowly oozing from them... with a lithe motion she sprang to her feet, reaching out to steady herself, she left a bloody hand print on the beds pad. Straightening up she quickly scanned the room, finding herself alone again. “What could have happened?” she wondered, stepping over to the metal cabinets hoping to get a closer look at her neck, the last thing she could remember was the Mothman entering the room. her eyes widened at what she saw in the reflection. “No, it can’t be”...

Teri couldn’t believe her eyes, over her shoulder, in the reflection she saw a figure standing across the room behind her. She twirled around to face the figure, her short skirt flaring out exposing her supple thighs and shapely legs. “Who are you?, where’d you come from?” she asked, studying the gaunt man that stood there...

Jack was still running blindly, sweat and dirt streaked his face. His black suit ripped and soiled, “darn” he hissed, his ray ban sunglasses were missing as well. His breath came in short jagged gasps. He had to keep moving he thought to himself. He needed to get the ancient device to his brother. But after the savage probing at the hands of the Jersey Devil, he had realized he would need some special help. "Time to call in some old debt's" he thought...

Admiral Kecks knew the day would come. He and Jack had known each other since SEAL training, and the Admiral owed Jack his life more then once. As he picked up the phone there was a knock on his Pentagon office door.

" Your days are numbered Admiral, today you die." Gibson growled, as his body seemed to bulge unnaturally as though he were changing. Admiral Kecks stood on in fear and amazement as Gibson mutated, his hands becoming talons, his eyes glowing red.

"MY....GOD!" Shouted Jack. "It is.....O.J. Simpson?"
It was hard to accept the terrible truth revealing itself before his eyes, the horrible specter of a mothman like OJ Simpson creature with fangs carrying a flower.
The creature slothed towards him in a stumbling gait. "Give me the artifact and I will go away."

"Not today OJ", Jack said.

He pulled out his double-bladed light saber and sliced the Mothman freak in half.

"If we dont get out of these woods soon, Im gonna loose it", Jack said looking over the slain body of the OJ.

"We better head to the Pentagon, and Admiral Kecks", Jim said to his brother.

Little did they know, Kecks was having problems of his own.

Just then, Batman and Robin came to save the day.
"Holy scallops, Batman! The Mothman and the Jersey Devil are here in Gotham City!"
Batman put his hand on Robin's head.
"Don't worry, little buddie, we''ll figure something out!"
Just then an angry swarm of killer bees attacked the Jersey Devil, and the Mothman was attacked by Mahatma Gandhi, using the powers of the cosmos, and Big Billy Bob McGruff, using the powers of a barb-wired 2x4.

Colonel Vladimir Adamanski chewed nervously on his cigar, with a pucker the cigar shifted to the other side of his mouth. He smiled then thinking “reg’s say I can’t light er up, nothing about chewing it”.

The smile disappeared from his hard face as quickly as it had come. “What could Admiral Kecks be thinking?, you don’t just ring up and ask for special forces” he said. Turning to his aide Corporal Gwen Carlson. “No Sir” she replied straightening up a little under his penetrating gaze, “and requesting the experimental changeling cloaks... He’s going to get us both a court martial” the Colonel growled.

“Yes Sir, uh, no Sir” she stammered “I know your to clever for that Sir! Besides your unit is doing the field testing”. “yea, field testing...” said Adamanski suddenly smiling. “tell the unit to stand by for action, contact Area 51 and get a Skymaster stealth transport ready for launch, then get hold of special weapons, I think we’ll need something with a little more kick on this ‘field test’”.

He stood there for a moment thinking “Jack Burnsides, if Jack needed Kecks help this must be real serious, and for Kecks to call him...” he shook his head, “was the earth being invaded or something...”

“what now” Big Billy Bob McGruff asked Mahatma Gandhi as he casually picked shreds of Mothman wing from the gory barb-wired 2x4...

adjusting his glasses. Gandhi sat on the gore splattered ground crossing his legs, he set his hands palm up on his knees, “I will use an ancient Tantric technique to astrally contact my spiritual guide and good friend, Master P’ong” he said.

Big Billy Bob McGruff squatted down beside Gandhi, leaning his almost gross weight on the gory barb-wired 2x4. McGruff’s fat fingers playing in an evil smelling pool of congealing Mothman blood. then suddenly...

A Saurophaganax burst out of the nearby forest, and ate them all. It then proclaimed its kill with a ground-shaking roar.

Suddenly the Saurophaganax started twitching and gagging. then with a mighty contraction it spewed the two hapless hero’s out onto the ground in an ever widening pool of stomach bile... and then the Saurophaganax scurried away squeaking, into the underbrush.

the Mothman blood covering McGruff, had caused an allergic reaction.

“Owee, gravy” Billy Bob said licking the foul slime from his chubby fingers. “Before we were set upon by that beast, I had contacted the Master...” Gandhi explained to McGruff.

“he say’s trouble is being fermented in the middle east by an ancient evil... the Anunnaki”.

“you don’t say” Big Billy Bob McGruff grunted. “I do say” Gandhi replied wiping his glasses with a corner of his loin cloth.

“We must go to India, and visit the ancient ruins of Harapa, Master P'ong will meet us there”

meanwhile...

Back at the Pentagon Admiral Kecks was on his way to the sublevels. He hated coming down here, it always meant the world was headed to Hell in a bad way. This was his second trip down here this year.

Glancing briefly at his watch, Admiral Kecks returned his gaze to the elevators display. 76, 77, 78... soon he’d be at the monorail platform. Was von Däniken really that crazy? He wondered... what if they hurt Teri?... but he forced himself to think about something else. Finally the doors slid open and he stepped out onto the concrete landing. The monorail was waiting there, silver and black in the cold artificial light. Seeing a figure near the monorail’s open door he stopped short... what was the President doing here?...

“Heh, heh, any chance you’ve seen Cheney or Condie round about, Captain Shrek?" President Bush asked. “It’s Admiral Kecks, Sir” the Admiral snapped to attention and saluted... “I got lost again... looking for the toilet. Oh, and you might want to get housekeeping down here.” the President said motioning toward a spreading stain on the platform... “but there’s a toilet in the oval office sir!” Kecks said frowning. “I can’t never find the darn door...looks just like the walls... who does that anyway??” the President replied, when...

......the president turned around and it was then Admiral Kecks realised, it wasnt the preaident at all, it was his evil clone. This is just not what i need right now the Admiral thought, if i dont make it to the conference room the wrong choice may be made.

Dr. Smith relaxed at the small bar located near the rooms door. on a colorful, brightly lit stage, in the corner of the bases otherwise drab recreation room. a tiny grey alien, wearing a poorly fitting neon pink thong, was sliding and writhing on a shiny chrome pole.

Large letters spelling out DULCE strobed behind the stage. Several greys were gathered around below, and were tossing strawberries at the feet of the dancer. Nearby on the stage amid the scattered strawberries was a neon pink bra, he noticed that there were tennis balls stuck in the cups, occasionally it’s posturing’s would shift the thong, exposing it’s ventral slit. The clustered aliens would suddenly start twitching about and make clicking sounds...

he could hardly keep from laughing. his attention was drawn over to the stage as one of the greys began twitching, making sounds like a bag of microwave popcorn popping and going around in small circles... “obvious alcohol imbalance... I’ll probably be seeing him in the morning’ he thought...

even though the room was fairly quiet, the pounding in his inner ear and the ripples in his drink told him they must really be pumping the ultrasonic’s. he knew he would have to leave soon or suffer a terrific headache.

His PDA suddenly chirped. He briefly scanned the information, ‘New arrival at this time of night?’ He thought, checking the time. ‘subject 19870, female, hmm..’. he suddenly tightened up. ‘Transport to protein processing, sub level 7?’, was it feeding time again so soon? “Teri Burnsides...” that was unusual he thought, it was usually just Jane Doe... Well, no one would miss her he guessed...

Just as he finished his drink. Stan Baker, his lab assistant, hurried in to tell him...

"Admiral Kecks will be at the meeting in about 2 minutes, and he won't be happy with the test results", Stan said.

The pilot had tried to explain the propulsion system of the transport before the launch, Colonel Adamanski remembered... Something about toroid’s, somewhere under the deck, producing a powerful magnetic field that propelled the craft along, and allowed it to hover, all without a sound.

It was to much tech stuff... He was a soldier, not a scientist... the only motion he felt was an occasional lurch as the stealth craft encountered a pocket of clear air turbulence. The pilot had called it inertia dampening...

He looked around the spacious troop bay at the back of the Skymaster. for a moment he could almost imagine he was alone, only the distortion along the mens outlines, and the unnerving sight of heavy weapons, seemingly, floating several inches above the two long bench seats, that ran down both sides of the bay, gave away his men’s positions.

The changeling cloak technology was loosely based on the invisibility cloak, created by Oleg Gadomsky. Gadomsky had been experimenting on nanoparticles, sub-micron stratum of microscopical colloid golden particles that makes an object placed behind it invisible to an observer.

He flipped to the next page of the top secret research report. He scanned down the page till he got to the pertinent information...

Operation Chameleon. field test advanced camouflage combat armor... layered carbon fiber exoskeleton, exotic space manufactured metals, blah, blah, blah, self sealing bio suit, thermally controlled, “Nice” he said under his breath. He’d have to brief the men soon, he still couldn’t believe what Admiral Kecks had told him, it sounded like a poorly written science fiction story...

He could hear the banter of his men on the com link, Johnson was complaining about an itch “did you use the desensitizing spray Johnson?” Sergeant Pyle asked. “Yea Sarge” Johnson replied. “Everywhere?” the Sarge growled. “Well, uh, maybe not EVERY where...”. “Johnson, what didn’t you understand about spraying EVERYWHERE?” Sgt.Pyle demanded.

The only response was laughter from the rest of the unit... the pilots voice suddenly cut into his helmet’s com’s. “Colonel Adamanski, I’m receiving new orders for you, Admiral Kecks wants you to”...

Gandhi and McGruff entered India through the Teufel Vortex, a cosmic gate created by Gandhi. McGruff wondered how a 5 foot 2 inch hippy-man could make a vortex-thingy like that, but any hoo...

"They have been here already...the America troops and their planes."
Gandhi was walking around the buildings and markets, peering into windows and checking for anyone still alive.
Suddenly, a little grey thing poked its head out of the bushes. McGruff was ready to attack, but the creature scampered off.

“Dang, it got away... and I’m getting hungry, it could’a been dinner” McGruff said, poking at the bushes with the barb-wired 2x4... “control your hunger my gargantuan friend, and look here” Gandhi said pointing to the boot prints in the dirt “these are clever forgeries, I believe the American’s are being used as scape goats”. “you don’t say” McGruff said looking closer at the imprints, “I do say” Gandhi replied...

Just then Master P’ong appeared from behind a ruined wall. “Master P’ong, It’s so good to see you again” Gandhi said with a short bow, “Indeed my old friend, I have missed our cosmic explorations as well” P’ond replied, returning the bow. “I think we have some trouble guys” McGruff growled pointing with the barb-wired 2x4 to...

A dozen, blonde haired, English school children. their arms were held stiffly at their sides, their hands clenched in tight fist’s, they stood there staring at the trio with wide blue eyes... “evil psychic teens!” Master P’ong hissed. “Part of an insidious Anunnaki plan to create a telepathic master race to control the non-telepathic or mundane human’s” He explained. When...

a void appeared and a swarm of shadowy demons flew forth and consumed the children in their darkness, before dragging them back through the void that swifty disapeared.

Leaning closer to the navigation screen, the display reflected in Zox’s large black eyes... “we should be well inside the system within a solar day” he thought. He wished there was more information about the magnetic shifts on this planet, the scans showed a wildly fluctuating pattern.

Suddenly the nearby communication panel sprang to life, the hail light flashed angrily. He checked the signals point of origin, the system ahead “they really are anxious” he said aloud. “May they’re egg’s crack and rot” Zil piped in from across the Z’leztra’s command deck.

He pretended he hadn’t heard the remark, such feelings were getting more common, and the Anunnaki had no one but themselves to blame. They’re arrogance seemed to know no bounds, he thought.

When suddenly...

Piping his head out of one of the shuttle's hatches, Squarge looked out for signs of life. The journey to Cosmos 25E was painfully humiliating to his people, for they knew, from their last visit, how labour intensive it was.

"Remember the pyramids? The Stonehedge? Atlantis? By Solomon's Cosmic Theory, those homo sapien sapiens are extremely annoying!" Squarge piped up, after seeing nothing below them.

Capt. Kuber stood over the main module, studying the language of Earth. He was stuck on a word as Squarge entered the Main room.
"Um, Squarge, my boy, what's this word mean?"
"Which word, sir?"
"This one.....extra.....extraterrest......extraterrestrial?"
"Oh, sir, it means someone with more than one gamete."
"Oh dear Solomon!"
"I know, sir, I see it too....it amazes me too."
That's what happens when you hit the Show Picture button.

Teri tried to scream again, but nothing happened,. She’d been screaming forever she thought... when would this nightmare end?, she prayed it was a nightmare... it HAD to be a nightmare. And where were Jack and Jim...