I'm in the market for some nice stone carvings. Can you recommend anything? Like, gods of the volcanoes, or something really indiginous. Just my luck- someone from a small island with internet access!

My secret is when I am home alone, I turn on music really loud and dance around naked . Oh and I watch DR Phill. lol

I know the feeling Melly....Get out now....It will not work. I done the same thing and you will be miserable....

A secret of mine...I use weed and mushrooms..

Hmmm, I don't have many secrets, I'm pretty much an open book. I have two secrets that I've been keeping for many years, I'll tell them now.

A co-worker of mine used to take his shoes off at work and run around with his feet stinkin' up the place. I stole one of them from under his desk, then for the next 6 months, took it with me everywhere and took pictures of his sneeker at various locations with a cell phone camera and sent the pictures back to him through an anonomous yahoo.com mail account. He was PO'd and was the type to find NO humor in it. After torturing him for 6 months, I threw his shoe away in a dumpster, took a picture, and watched his head explode the next day at work. He never had a clue it was me.

The other secret was also at work. I worked for a TERRIBLE borderline abusive company who'd allowed 55K customers loan data to be stolen after a network break in, they refused to report it to the state and SEC which they were required by law to do. Since they refused to tell their customers their personal information had been stolen I had a blow out with the CEO, and quit. Two months later, I sent him a Mickey Mouse watch, for his Mickey Mouse company.... and put the return address on it from the local TV station. I hear through the grapevine he was sweatin' like the PIG he is for a couple of weeks.

OMG, that is so great.

Really brilliant!!!

Do you still have the pics?? You should put them in a blog!!

OMG Thats hillarious.

Stuff happens so unless you were lying, don't worry about it. I won't even tell you the stuff I have done!

Oh no, like any good little deviant, I destroyed them. haha. What I really wished I had was video of him having a complete cow when he received the last one. He was hollerin' around the office "if I find which one of you guys did this I'll make sure HR hears about it!" he went nuts.

In retrosepect, I should have demanded a ransom for his shoe... but that could have got me caught.

I like noodles

My Secrets:

- I used to be addicted to huffing Rubber Cement, Markers, Paint, and Cleaning Products..
- I used to fantasize about rape about 2 years ago
- Non of my friends have seen me cry
- I think I'm turning racist towards white people...
- My parents are somewhat racist towards everyone except Mexican.
- Only had 2 girlfriends in my life
- I brought semen to school in a jar once and sprayed it all over my teacher's markers, 2 years ago
- I was suicidal
- I attempted suicide 4 times in my life

my secret is: I talk about Iron Maiden and FF7 a lot: but I do not own the original fF7, and I have NO iron maiden albums in my house. . .Also, I actually hate some of my friends, AND one time. . .I killed some one. . .(that last one was a joke), I am sitting inn science class as I type this, I have had not one girlfriend, and, I like the smell of gasoline. . .Also, I have thoughts about killing people! (joking!. . .

MissMels, you have gained my full respect. . You rock, Ma'am.

Guess I got to come out with a secret now. I am a compulsive procrastinator. I put everything off until I can't possibly put it off anymore. It is my worst trait. Especially anything concerning paperwork and/or big comapanies and bureaucracies... like the child support office, the medical insurance company, the kids's school, etc.. I positively loathe paperwork, and the fact that I have to write a novel everytime I have some kind of interaction with these companies. I sometimes have to create a happy place in my mind when I am dealing with one of these atrocious groups. I picture myself as a cross between Heidi and a recluse militia woman , living in the country on 1,000 heavily guarded acres , growing my beans and tomatoes, chopping my firewood, and fishing, with no need for modern society, blissfully free of @#^%& PAPERWORK. It gets me through the moment.

Edit: Assault Rifle Guy and Ninja Guy were just REALLY called for in there

I'm 30 years old and I still eat cereal with cartoon characters on the box. That's right, I'm not afraid to say it... so what if I keep the boxes way up high in the pantry?!

I have an above average intelligence, but sometimes I act like a dingbat if I think it will get me what I want... Giggle a lot, flip the hair, bat the eyes. Not to anybody I know, just salesmen, repair guys, people like that.

I'm very neat and orderly, but don't give a flip how messy my bedroom gets. Nobody ever goes in there but me and my *throw the dirty clothes on the floor* husband, so I don't care. I keep it sanitary, it's not dirty, but it's not orderly by any means. A couple of people know, but most that know me would probably be shocked if they saw that room!

my secret - I only come on here when Im extremely bored.

I'm addicted to energy drinks.

I do, too! Well, not the dancing around naked but the watching Dr. Phil thing. I also badmouth him anytime his name or show ever comes up. I don't know why. I dislike him but at the same time the people on his show are such trainwrecks I can't stop from watching.

My secret: When my ex-husband and I first split up I still had the keys to the house and I would come over when I knew he wasn't home and have sex in his bed because I knew it would be something that would make him mad. I also still have love letters and pictures from a girl he cheated on me with. I found them in his drawer while I was putting away laundry and took them. I don't even know if he even realized they were gone (maybe he thought he got rid of them) because he's never given any indication that he thinks I found them. I used to look at them a lot but now they're packed away somewhere and I have no clue where they are.

i hate my biological father

Thank you Pandy, you've given me the courage to admit that I am too.

And they have these Stacker energy drinks at Big Lots for 50 cents!

I spend like 100 bucks a week!!!

I sort of used to. Now I just feel bad for mine. To be like a 10 year old in a grown man's body is more something to pity than hate. Waiting for your parents to die so you can go blow the money on a bunch of crap, including two Harleys that get dusty in your garage, then call your daughters complaining because you have no money... Some people never grow up.

One year of fun, $250,000
Three sappy long distance phone calls, $2.50
Eternal childhood, priceless.

i call myself a German
but im not, i just have a German last name since my grandma remarried when my dad was a kid
im really Icelandic, Belgian, and Irish

oh heres another one
for about 6 months i would come on UM everyday and read everything
i finally decided to make an account last week

Insanity is a perfectly natural adjustment to a totally unnatural and negative environment.

So anyways... my secret is... can you guess?

I have an overwhelming sense of justice and sometimes wish I had the power of God....

I have the same sense, except sometimes I feel like I have the power of God.

umm this is very embarrasing. uhh lol I have the best secret on this thread (or worst depending on how you look at it) about 20 minutes ago I hooked up with a girl I met on myspace earlier today hahahahhahahah

Thats not really a secret...by now everybody on Myspace knows lol.

Secret: I can't draw a circle...always ends up lopsided.

And I can't draw a straight line, but that's no secret.
I got drunk and put a Wiccan love spell on my ex-wife's sister.
There goes my moral leg to stand on at UM.

That is awesome!

EDIT: I thought of a good one. I haven't had a haircut since 2003 and I haven't shaved since October last year.

I can't reveal my secret, it would blow my cover!!!!

My Secret:

I lock myself in my room and pretend I'm black

Oh, I got one sort of like that.
I hate rap/hip-hop music, but I own an Outkast album and a Bubba Spar*** album.
Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ooooo, maybe that's my other secret (but a few people know, only my most trusted friends and family) I love the Seattle Mariners baseball team, I also love and root for the Oakland A's. Shhhhhh don't tell anyone cuz Seattle and Oakland are in the same division and I'm tortured everytime the A's play the M's. I actually don't care which team wins or loses. haha.

Bubba Spar***? LoL yeah hes one of the few good white rappers. I don't get why you censored his name, after all, there was a movie called ***, and it wasn't a porno

i have a secret obsession of one day flying,though i know that its not possible

Wasn't me doing the censoring.

Some of these are really good...

Hows about..I spend more time doing my hair in the mornings than I spend doing homework all day?
Or..
I continually pretend to be ignorant/not know things so as to not be thought as a know it all
or..
I lie to my boyfriend as to why I paint my nails pink. I say it is because it is the only colour that can get away with being chipped, but really its just because I think it looks cute.

OOOOOH I see, but I still don't see why.........



LOL that's wierd cuz I do my homework in the morning.

Not really a secret but I used to do my homework in the 5 minute breaks between classes.
Even in college, I'd do research papers same day as they were due. Usually get about at 5 in the AM, hungover, or still drunk, have it banged out and handed in by 8 AM.
Still had a 3.75 GPA.
God bless the slow folks for making everything easier for the smart ones.

LOL wow thats one thing we have in common huh I always stay up overnight and do my projects its so depressing.

BTW, are you sure you are smart if you leave your project until the day it is due.....

Dude, I suffer the SAME thing!!
It also seems physically impossible for me to speak certain Spanish words which contain double-R's due to this.

I can speak normally though, in English.
Also, I've never been able to whistle, I don't know if this has anything to do with the tongue thing or not...

I didn't say I left the project until then, just the physical writing. I would usually just choose whatever subject I was interested in at the time, or one that I am always interested in (i.e. Wrote papers on Dante for World History, Poetry and World Lit. classes; different papers of different lengths every time, the one for World Lit took 35 minutes for me to present *phew*), so I already had most of the research done, and already had it outlined and written in my head. Just had to type it up and edit it. Just another curse of having a brain that is always working on some level. Even when hammered. I've been told I orate when drunk. All I can say is, at least I get the first three letters correct.
O...R...A...

This really isn't that much of a secret...

I enjoy playing slave.

I'm afraid of cockroaches.

ahh man similar thing happened to me

I took the car for a joy ride and my mom was coming home from work (she used public transportation) and she saw me so i frantically drove back home hoping I was just imagining, sadly it was all real. My mom got home and was so upset at me that she said "you’re moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought now forget it, yo holmes to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "yo, holmes smell you later" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.












[spoiler]HA HA HA HA HA you just got fresh prince'd[/spoiler]

OMG It's like you're describing me.....are you sure you're not my brother from another mother?

LOL. Maybe, it is either that or sick, er, great minds think alike.

LOL great?........or lazy

"Work smarter. not harder." Words to live by.

And... No one ever said on their death bed... "Gee wish I'd worked harder at my job"