True Friendship

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series
of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again.. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Remember......A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good friend
will help you move a body.......let me know if you ever need me to bring
a shovel.

And…..A good friend will come bail you out of jail when you get locked up but…….
a great friend will be sitting in the cell with you.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you
can feel the true warmth.

So funny and so true. lol

Lol, I like that. It's so true and it sure beats those dodgy "friendship" e-mails I keep getting.

that is classic! i love the friend helping you move, a real friend helps move a body, it's funny cause its true.

ah... so true "Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you
can feel the true warmth."

what...? haha I was kidding



(holy zues that was a lot of emoticons..)

that is truest description of myself i have ever read !!..

You know what; come to think of it, that means I have no friends.
that is so true.