My mother passed two years ago in June. Since that time I have never seen nor heard anything that would make me think she visits me. I also have a child who passed in 94 and again have never seen her spirit in our home or anything. I just figure that those who see the deceased husband or sister are suffering from grief induced hallucinations.

I will say quietly though that I have seen what I believe to be my mom walking across a crosswalk in front of my truck and again a few months later driving a van that was turning in front of me at an intersection.
This sounds crazy and I cant believe it each time it happens. My mom had a very distinct expression on her face all the time, since I can remember, a look like "Will you just go away" and I swear the woman I see has that same look. Same hair and everything. The woman walking walked like my mom and dressed like her, hip purse and everything.
The weirdest thing is that when I see her, she is corrected for age. Meaning it is my mom only a little older. How I would imagine she would look as she got older. I hope not to see her anymore. Iam concerned that this is happening just when I thought I was coming out of my shock over her passing. Things are getting back to normal and my kids dont talk about grama so much anymore thank God.

I find myself watching for this person cause I must drive this particular street four times a day 5 days a week taking children to school. It is a ways from my neighborhood and both encounters happened on that road about 4 blocks apart. Also I have been getting calls on my caller ID that say payphone and the same number each time. I have never been here to pick up these calls to see who it is, yet Iam so nuerotic that I stopped at each payphone on this road to check the number to see if it is the same. Why do I do this? I dont want my mom to come back and dont think of her all the time anymore so what is up with this?
Great, now I sound like a looney. A good catholic woman who see's her dead mom walking around town.

I am sorry to hear about your losses, that must be horrible.

I don't know if folks come back; I do know that I would liek to someday comeback and see the old neighborhood and friends and family, but I do not know if that is an option.

It is comforting to think that loved ones come back by on occasion to check things out, so be it wishful thinking or a real visit, I don't see any harm in it occuring...

I am very, very sorry that you are going through this unhappy stage. To be frank I see you as still suffering from your grief though you try not to admit this to yourself. I too know grief and although I think I am now "over it", if I am honest with myself I must accept that there is still that deep down ache within me. I have often noted the great number of people who write to Forums like this one saying that they DO see apparitions of their loved ones who have passed over and I have felt not a little resentful that I have never seen any apparition of anyone from my family all of who are "on the other side". However, I don't believe it is necessary to expect their ghosts to appear. I think that may only occur when those left behind have put out of mind those who have "died" because of the cares and responsabilities of this world and spirits may appear in order to grasp their attention. I nevertheless feel that my family are with me and watch over me and even guide me in difficult decisions I may have to make. For me that is enough. Express your grief and talk to your Mother and you will find that she will respond to you. LONECAT

FluffyBunny and Lonecat,

Thank You for your wise words to a distraught mourner. I will consider your views on the situation carefully. Perhaps Iam seeing what I want to be rather than what is. Maybe we never stop grieving and wishing for miracles.

Lonecat, what you said about people who do see visions of their lovedones makes sense to me, they come to those who may have forgotten and they want to remind the living of their past presence in this world. I think of my mom and daughter each day for different reasons and we as a family speak about them freely all the time. So I have not seen them ever in all the years, because they are kept with us and never forgotten by us.
Maybe you have it. I too would feel resentful at others who see their departed because I would feel that I did not for whatever reason deserve to see them or wasnt granted that special contact for some reason. Now you make me see it in a different light. Thanks Alot.

First of all, let me offer you my sympathies and my empathy in the loss of your mother. I lost my Mother 15 years ago, and my father 19 years ago. Regardless of how old we get, it's NEVER easy to lose our parents. I extend my empathy and sympathy to you about your child as well. The 12th anniversary of the deaths of my two youngest sons and my wife was yesturday. They were killed by a drunk driver on March 11th, 1994. I truly know how it is to have out-lived your children, and it's very tough!

Ya know? I don't think that what you're experiencing is at all uncommon. For example, for years after my Paternal Grandfather died in 1963, my father thought that he saw him around town. My Dad believed that it was just a look-alike or just his' imagination, but who can know? As far as I know, my father experienced this off and on for the rest of his' life.

Another thing, it happens that my wife and I owned a house just a couple of blocks from the Mortuary where my Father's body was taken after his' sudden death. In fact, from our swimming pool, deck and upper-story back windows, you could clearly see the Mortuary building.

One afternoon, about a year and a half after my Dad's death, I was swimming in the pool with my daughter. I got a little chilly and climbed out of the water to dry off in the sun for a while. I sat down at our iron picnic table and glanced toward the funeral home,,,there I noticed a man walk out of the door, then walked up the street in our direction. He walked just exactly like my Dad, He was about the same height, (which my father was a very short man,) he was about the same age, with the same hair,,,everything was a perfect match.

I called my daughter, who was the only person at home with me that day, out of the pool and I nodded my head toward the man to see if she saw him and to see how that she'd react. She did at least a triple take, turned to me and asked, "Papa?," (the name that all of my kids used to called my father.)

I was glad to know that I wasn't just me that saw that man and that it wasn't just me who thought that he looked like my Dad. Awestruck, my daughter and I stood by the chain-link pool fence and we watched as the man approached our place, pass by and continue walking up the street. When the man got close enough, it had become clear that he was not an apparition of my Father, but someone who resembled him a great deal. It taught me that my eyes can play very convincing tricks on me, and even on others around me. Frankly, I truly hoped that it was my Dad,,,there is nothing that I'd like more than to see him again. Nonetheless, that was one experience that I'll never forget and neither will my daughter.

You mentioned about being the good Catholic Girl that goes around seeing your deceased mother everywhere. Well, I'm Jewish and have been all of my life, but I do know a little something about Catholicism, as I was educated in Catholic Schools from the first through the fifth grade. I was taught just as if I would have been had I been a Catholic child, including attending Morning Masses, CCD Classes,,,everything! I have a lot of respect for Cathoics, and if I wasn't Jewish, I'd be Catholic myself.

I don't believe that it makes you a "bad Catholic" even if you sat down and had a face to face conversation with your Mother's spirit. I know that especially in Catholicism that apparitions of Saints, Jesus and Mary are NOT completely uncommon. The Blessed Patron Saints were once living, breathing humans beings, just as your Mother was, and it's a common practise for Catholics to invoke the prayers of Saints for help. In your faith, it's acceptable to seek the assistance of those who were once alive. I don't believe that it would be considered a sin to see your Mother's spirit in your faith,,,it certainly wouldn't be a sin in my faith, nor would it make me a "bad Jewish Man."

If this should turn out to be your Mother's apparition, then could it be that she is wanting to give you a message or help you in some way? Perhaps your Mother will end wind up being a Patron Saint one day. Maybe it's her Heavenly destiny to help the living as a Saint. Wouldn't that be cool?

The best of luck to you, and may G-d Bless You!!!!

This is a good topic...i've been doing some thinking myself about this lately.
I'd love to see some of my "passed on" relatives out and about ...as a matter of fact everytime i pas the cemetary i always look in to see if perhaps my dad or brother are standing looking out at me.....i think the only way we can truly believe is if we get personal verification.
As for psychics i note from the main page that the "online psychic" business is booming...this makes me sick to be honest,a bunch of charlatans exploiting people who seek proof or comfort...i wish people wouldn't be so STUPID as to support this stuff as it really only muddies the waters when it comes to personal proof.
Sure there are some genuine psychics i spose but how can we really believe any of them when they've turned it into a money making scam ?.
At the end of the day i suppose we'll always wonder wont we ? i envy anyone whos faith is so strong that they dont feel the need for verification but i'm not one of those people.Of course this doesn't mean i want to live in a haunted house or anything but i would like some kind of sign that there is an afterlife for us all.

"Things are getting back to normal and my kids dont talk about grama so much anymore thank God."


You answered your own question. It is called ambivalence.

Talking about a deceased relative 24/7 is alot different from bringing them up and anecdotes regarding them each day. My mother was the only family we had and her sudden passing was confusing for my kid's, especially for my autistic 14 year old twins. My daughter who does not speak, would lie on her bed and cover herself with all the photos of my mom from all over the house she found. Like a hug or something. We did alot of hospice counseling and meds for me for awhile and now Iam off meds and we dont do counseling and now we can say hey, theres the restaraunt grama loved to eat at, and we all dont cry for two hours over it.

That is what I meant when I said the kids dont dwell on the event and loss all the time.
What evil intent are you trying to push into this thread of honest emotion and grief???
Stay away from chunga , you are indeed a bad person.

It is curious that you felt the need to get confirmation from another. Your daughter, thats what happened when we saw what I feel is my mom walking in front of us. My son said, hey, thats grama. I looked and yes it sure looked like her. We both bring this sighting up alot and he looks for her to be on that road when we go to school. You make alot of good points. I cannot even start to try to feel what you must of gone through with your beloved wife and two sons. How do you go on? I will pray for your strength and for the lost family of yours. You were strong for the children left alive, that must of been your motivation to keep going through those first few darkest years. I think you are correct that we never are too old to need our parents, I even joined a group at hospice just for mother loss. I couldnt believe it, I wasnt the only one saying I just want to pick up the phone and call my mom. It was one of the wierdest and hardest things to get use to , not being able to call or drop by her home. For a year I would go by her old home each month to validate for myself that new people were living there and she really was gone. Thank you for your thoughts and kindness regarding such a ouchy matter. I do hope this gets better for me and I wont be feeling like this all my life.

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother and child. I lost my father at 14 and then had a very close friend of mine die almost 6 yrs. ago. Although I didn't have the same kind of experience you spoke about, I saw both my dad and my friend right after their passing. Whether I was dreaming them each time, I don't know. I do know that simply seeing and hearing them comforted me and helped me get through some hard times. Who knows? Maybe your mother is trying to let you know that she is with you and watching over you.

I am sorry for everyone's losses here.

I have seen some things I can't explain as well. My father died when I was 8, and I've seen him twice since. (At least I thought it was him....looked just like him). Both times I was experiencing a great deal of stress. I saw him one night in a crowded bar (I wasn't drinking). It looked exactly like him, right down to the distinctive way he was holding his drink. I went over to talk to him, but he was gone by the time I made my way there.

The next time was 7 years later. I saw him walking in the parking lot of a municipal building. It was him, down to the way he walked and the goofy grin he used to wear. I got away from what I was doing and ran out to talk to him, but yet again, he was gone.

He has visited his sister a lot over the years, and I was envious until I had my visit. So, either my dad has a doppelganger, or he's popping in to check on us. My mother hasn't had any experiences, and doesn't believe in ghosts. Maybe they only visit people who are open to the phenomenon?

I also dream about him sometimes when I'm stressed. In almost all of the dreams, he is young and healthy. He appeared the age he would be now only once.


I could probably find a way to explain away these experiences, but I would like to think that our loved ones have the ability to check in on us.

This is what I have told myself I will do the next time I see my mom. Follow the car and confront the person. If I see her again I will go up to the person, just to check it out. It is wierd that you could not get close. Iam saddened that your father is away from a loving daughter like yourself. He must miss you as much as you miss him. The part about seeing the passed when we are stressed might have something to do with this experience. The dream thing is so strange when one loses a loved one. My daughter was only 13 months old when she drowned and I have only dreamed of her 3 times, all within a year of her passing. My mom I dreamed about almost nightly for the first year. I kind of told her to stop coming into my dreams so much and it did stop . I dream of her only once in a while. When I dream of her she is the age she was when she died and younger in others kind of mixed up. Thank You All for your replies to me, I feel better to get it out and discover that others have similar questions and thoughts. It is a difficult thing to get a grip on death. We all have such varied ideas of the afterlife. I often talk to my mom in my kitchen when Iam alone and ask her to come to me and explain what happened to her, it was a mess of a situation when she died and members of my family are confused about what exactly happened to my mom. There is a feeling of unrest and alot of questions left unanswered. I would just like to know what really happened. I even thought of a seance for contact with her , yet our priest advises against this. It could bring more trouble than it would solve.
I guess I will know all when its my turn to face the ultimate experience. Iam scared of dying because of my kids, yet am anxious to see my daughter and mother again. So Iam feeling confused about the whole thing. Thanks Again for sharing your precious stories. I appreciate them and you.

I am sorry, as well for everyone's losses.

Chunga,

I just want to say that I am a christian person myself and have experienced the mixed emotions that accompany the curiousity, pain, confusion and other feelings.

I have years experience with children and adults with developmental disabilities. Autism, however is my wife's specialty. But I have heard it suggested that individuals with autism are sometimes more in touch with their spiritual sides than others. My research still continues on these and other topics. But, my suggestion is that you seek comfort in your children, as they are truly a gift from God. I can tell you that while some people do not give enough credit to autistic people, They have taught me quite a bit.

If you do not mind my asking, are you looking for a way to solve this problem, or are you just looking to talk and vent some?

Please let me know if I can be of any help (just talking via email or suggestions, whatever.)

My deepest sympathies;

A_Closer_Look

I've often seen my deceased Dad in my dreams... and each time it was with messages...one ..when i was house hunting for about 6 months... dreamt I saw my Dad walking up this drive of a astrange house and he walked right thru the front door... the he stuck his head and arm thru the front door and waved and said this one... the very next day the estate agent rang to show me this new house... it was exactly the same house shown to me by my Dad in the dream... ...lol. ...yes ...we bought it !!!


another time.. I kept seeing my Dad walking down stairs from a cloud... carrying this white book with a rectangular picture in it... I dreamt it over and over for about 6 months... until I saw the same book in a book shop... It was called 'Conversations with God'... be Neal Walshe.... which I promptly bought... a brilliant book... life changing...


any one read it ????

Thats how I "see" my parents and deceased family,,,in my dreams.

My dreams aren't usually as informative and helpful as yours,,,,actually they're often very strange and in them I feel an array of emotions.

However, the emotional release is always helpful,,,it's much easier for a man to let go of emotions in dreams than it is during his' waking hours.

I am writing about all my Psychic Channelling Experiences I have gained over the past 20 or more years and its all free of charge on here and its all 100 percent true although I can't prove the things I can see and Hear but still hopefully it will cause others to believe in the After Life.

I have never earned money from what I am doing as a psychic and I have passed as much as I can off to Research and written to tell others what I have seen.

As to proof I believe the only way to get the proof we all want is to develop our Psychic abilities which I believe we all have and get some of the proof for ourselves.

Its true just because you don't see or hear your relatives doesn't mean they aren't around you and in fact they may be communicating with you and you don't even know it.
Perhaps you will suddenly start thinking about them and a time you were with them and you will smile or suddenly find yourself in the kitchen making something you shared and they no doubt are there knowing they finally got through to you.

Perhaps you will visit a favorite restaurant or place and they no doubt put the thought into your head.

I can tell you almost emphatically that you will not see your relatives standing by the grave when you go by the Cemetery because they are off elsewhere in the After Life.

Remember they are free now to do all the things they never had time to do down here including World travel and all sorts of things if they have a mind to.

When the Spirit leaves the body all of its memories and intelligence leaves that shell on Earth and the Intelligence and Spirit which can appear anyway and or any age they choose to lives on in the after Life.

When our Relatives and associates who have passed on wish to be recognized by us they more often than not will apper in the image which you recognize but on the other hand they could appear in any way they choose, old, young and etc.

My reason for sharing all the things I have learned is so you will know some of the things I know and also so you may at some point in time stop grieving about your loved ones and smile and be happy and talk to them and they will hear you.

As for not having a chance to say goodbye that was only in their earth form now that you know these things you never have to say goodbye unless of course you want to.

Yes, I definitely needed someone to confirm what I thought that I saw, cause I was quite honestly freaking out. I was glad that my daughter thought that the man was my dad too. For me, it's just too bad that it wasn't really him!!!

This occurred nearly 18 years ago, (thats a long time,) so it's not mentioned as much as it used to be, but it's ironic that last Autumn, (during our High Holy Day period when I was with my daughter,) she brought that event up and we sort of laughed about it...

As for enduring all of the deaths, especially those of my wife and children, I relied a lot on prayer and my faith, I kept myself "together" for the sake of my surviving kids and I emersed myself into my career. These things were the keys to my surviving this chapter of my life.

I still experience some of the same things that you do like I catch myself thinking about calling my parents up to chat, only to realize that I can't and haven't been able to do so in a very very long time.

We always feel that we need our parents. The world is a big and scary place and as long as we know that our parents are here then everything seems okay.

From the moment of our births we depend upon them to lead, guide us and take care of us in this world, they kiss our boo-boo's and make everything alright. When we grow up our lives change a lot,,,we go off to college, we marry, have our own kids, we build our own careers and support ourselves and our families, we buy our own homes and we lead our own lives. As adults, we generally change our relationship with our parents to a deep and respectful friendship, but as long as we know that they're around, we know that they are still there with their special kind of parental love that comforts us. We know that they are can still "kiss" our proverbial "boo-boos" of life if we fall.

Losing our parents is a very deeply emotional thing. For starters, it's the first time since our births that we are completely on our own and we have to depend solely upon our own judgements because our parents are no longer just a phone call or a visit away to give us advise when we find ourselves at a perplexing crossroads in life.

I am of the opinion that you're still deeply in mourning, even though two years have passed. There is no set time limit on mourning, unless it goes on for an inordinate lenth of time,,,15 or 20 years would be considered abnormal and it would require professional help. But at this point, don't worry!!! You are normal to still be in the grief process at this point in time! Everyone's time of grief is different as we are all individuals.

There are many stages of mourning that we must pass through in order to reach acceptance, and acceptance is our goal! Unfortunately, there's no magic pill and there are no magic formulas that can cause you to go through your grieving stages of shock, disbelief, guilt, anger, acceptance, etc. painlessly. I don't know where you are in your grieving process at this time, but you will have to go through all of the stages of grief in your own time and at your own pace in order to reach a healthy acceptance.

I know that you said that you don't want to feel this way for the rest of your life and I can assure you that you won't! In time you'll reach acceptance and things will begin to level out for you. You know that your life is changed forever, and there's nothing that you can do about that,,,it's just a fact. However, once you reach the point of acceptance, you can move on with life and you'll feel less lonely. Your children will also reach a point of acceptance,,,as a matter of fact, I believe that they're closer to this than you are since you mentioned in your original post that they don't speak of grandma as much as they once did. That's common, children are much more resilient than adults.

I encourage you to continue in The Hospice Group Therapy Program that you've attended. Any place and at any time that you can speak and listen and discuss your feelings with those who are experiencing the same thing,,,that is VERY healthy for you.

Being that it's clear that you're a devout Catholic, so you're probably already doing these things anyway, regardless, I want to mention this to you: I know that in your faith, you have that beautiful prayer for the dead, I don't remember what it's called anymore, (it's been way more than 30 years since I was a student at Catholic School,) but it's like "light of the world," or something of that nature. I would suggest that you pray that for your mother,,,it will give you comfort too. I also suggest that you say the rosary for her frequently and light candles at mass for her. These things will help you emotionally and spiritually. This will help to expedite your grieving process and give you comfort.

In the Jewish faith, we have very similar prayers and practises, and these helped my a lot. Our prayer for the dead is called "The Kaddish," we have a daily prayer called "The Middah," which is a formal prayer that's a little similar to praying the rosary in your faith. We also light a candles for our dead in Synagogue every Sabbath. I know how that these things helped me to cope with all of my losses, and I think that it'll help you too.

In closing, thank you for your prayers, and you'll be in my prayers too.

Grief can be a very strange thing, and I think at times that it never really leaves us completely when we loose someone we love dearly. I have not yet lost my parents, but my grandmother, who was a second mother to me has passed on. She left this earthly life 8 years ago, but still I think of her almost every day. Most of the time I can think of her and smile a little at the wonderful memories, but occasionally I still get blindsided by sudden renewed grief. Just a few days ago one of my girls mentioned something about Granny and suddenly the grief felt raw again and I cried. It hadn't hit me like that for a few years, but then there it was again.

As I see my parents getting older I think more and more about what it will be like without them. It is hard to imagine not being able to pick up the phone and chat with Mom. But it is something we all must go through as a part of life. When that time comes for me I can definitely see me thinking I see my parents in every elderly person who looks like them. I've had friends describe similar occurrences to me, so I think it is something common to human nature.