1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think the "nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The salvation army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more! than you took.
10. You keep a can of raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "cool whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

so red-necks are stupid,lazy, and have absoloutley nothing to do?

Lmao! I know a fair few people who this stuff applies too

I know some poeple this applies to as well.......( a few are relatives )

Actually I got number 20, when it's really cold out and there's no such thing as a kleenex.

uh oh! this might offended certain people on here chunga

but I found this post to be funny - since I can related (my neighbors and a very small amout of relatives)

these rock...is it possible if i live in the uk and know people this applies to?

Excellently hilarious... or hilariously excellent...

Over time, lots of US pals have sent various links to sites where you can test 'How Redneck Are You?'... It turns out I'm a pure 'Southern Boy' which ain't bad for a Brit Dalesman

I know a few folks like that . . .

Nice list. Being in Southwest Virginia, I also know a lot of people the list applies to.

Funny thing about rednecks....In college I had a Norwegian email-pal. He had seen Jeff Foxworthy's routines and thought they were somewhat funny, but he didn't really get it. I tried to explain to him what a redneck was, but he just didn't get it. He asked questions like: "Does one chose to be a redneck, or is one born into it?" hmmmmm..
I went around town taking pictures of people who looked like rednecks and sent them to him. He still didn't get it.

Are rednecks a southern USA cultural phenomenon only?

Redneck is a state of mind, not geographical location...

touche my friend good way of thinking too.

#22 is every little American boy's dream. My husband run's one each year for the J.C.'s and every year he wishes he could own and operate one on the side all year long.
We do not particularly fall into the label category Redneck.

Very small amount of relatives. Ha!!!!! distortedpandy is a freakin REDNECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeez, chunga, learn to laugh at yaself. I'm frum Tennussee and I cin see how funny we are even if sum uf em tawk bout me. Maybe a lot of my kin too.

When I was young, we had a rag for a gas cap.


I also knew someone who had a non-working TV as a stand for the working TV. XD.

Up here in the NE US, I have noticed many of these behaviors, but up here we call it, "ghetto."

I thought this one was hilarious.

Isn't it funny that even people from out of the states can relate?!?!?!?

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?




Somebody is gonna lose a trailer...

Why a REDNECK?? Chunga?...ohh do tell? And what is wrong with rednecks?

aww, you shouldn't call people names...it isn't nice...

ya know, what would jesus do and all that...maybe you should consider changing your avatar to something that better suits your attitude.

*sighs*

Do I have ta duct tape all ya'lls fangers to them thar keyboards? It ain't no sin to be a redneck. Sume of us are dang proud of it and made a good livin offin of it. Take that thar Feff whatsitzname. I bet if he wuz standin rite cheer in frunt of ye you wudn't be givin him no flak now wood ya?

Michelle...you make me giggle

Edit: Post Removed. Flaming.
You've been warned several times about name calling chunga, the next time you call someone anything negative it'll be a suspension.
BurnSide

Aw shucks, thet's what I'm here for darlin.

*kicks at rock in tha driveway*

Damn......that must make me a gen-you-wine hillbilly.....

Well, step rite on in and join tha club. hunny. Take yer shoes off an git cumfy!

Formal attire or can I wear my tube top?

IAH GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGAHS!

Formal attire??? Naw, you aint't gotta wear no tie with them thar bib overhalls. A tube top underuns wud be just fine and dandy.

What you got dos blistahs frum, Burnsy. You ain't said a dang thang!!!

even better.....just lemme get the babies rounded up......and we'll all git settled right quick....

*gets "nascar" tattoo'ed across her back* check it out y'all!

chunga are you writing a novel?

*takes out her teeth for a proper wolf whistle*

Momma and Daddy! Pandy, where or where did y'all find that?

I've seen dem thar wild women at da track. Sum of em ain't purty.

PLEASE wear the tube top!

dat der google is a beaut-i-ful thang.

Ya gotcha good ol shotgun weddin photo ther!

Aw shucks, I gotsta go. Ya''ll jest make yurself ta home and stay as long as ya wanta. Don't bother lockin tha door cuz itz broke but ol blue'll stand gard no need in fettin over it.

Ya'll cum back now, yahere!!!

How in the hell can you do that?

Don't you mean to say ANOTHER suspension? Please define 'negative'.

It's pretty simple chunga. 'Negative' means 'bad'.

Chunga call people bad names, chunga get suspension for breaking forum rules. Yes, another one.

Hope that helps.

Any further questions can be sent in a PM. Back on topic.

ah......the great Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a Redneck if" jokes!