suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy...
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The
yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,
where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact
fix on his location.
He then feeds it to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and ex ports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of
complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he
prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized
HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, ''You
have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, w hy
not?"
"You're a consultant for the National Republican Party," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked; You want to take something from a
hard working person and give it to someone who's already rich and you
don't know anything about my business. You ACT like you own the world
and ACT like you know what your doing when you are truly clueless. Now
GIVE ME BACK MY DOG.
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