QUOTE(seanph @ Jun 6 2006, 09:46 AM) [snapback]1220304[/snapback]
So, BW, is just a youngster, eh? Let me explain something to you, young man, from experience ... Do not think for one moment that you are invulnerable. I was paralyzed in a car accident at the ripe old age of seventeen. I died twice and was revived. I now sit, trapped within the prison that is my body, in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck down. Two years after my own accident, my dearest friend was killed in a car accident. She was seventeen as well.
It has now been over twenty years. That is a long time to sit and meditate on life. Trust me ... you're too young to be absolutely sure about how to live life and what it means. I sure don't.
And I would say the same to you. Give a listen to those of us who have been there and done that. With age, comes wisdom--for some anyway. And don't make up your mind that something is true so hastily and without fully researching both sides of an issue first. This takes time--in some cases many years. Just do your best to be open-minded and objective. Believe me, I know from personal experience that this can be excruciatingly hard.
Respectfully,
Sean
AND YOUR GOING TO GIVE ME THAT TYPE OF ADVICE?
I'm sorry but you don't know who your talking too about these things, I'm not the typical "youngster" you'd be giving this type of lecture too.
First of all I too was hit by car, going nearly 50 miles per hour at tops, I was chucked flying in mid air while a large SUV came by and hit me on my right side of my chest, I was suspended in air (at least through my eye view) and I could have easily been up there 10 feet from the hard concrete ground, now this was because I was first then rammed in my side and I went toppling on the top of the vehicle from the windowshield up, before flinging back from the movement the car was going. Before I hit the street, I could remember just before crashing and landing on the back of my skull area, a bright light that almost 'dimmed' the sunlight out from showing, and soon after that, I black out seeing a nothingness as if I've been blinded and my ears ring like crazy, in a sudden instance (what it felt like to self) I had awoken after my vision had set in to see a crowd of people standing over me, at first I thought I was dead, but when I realized I wasn't, I became hysterical thinking for sure I was, I guess you could say I either had 'demons' or I was reacting from my body that underwent great amounts of shock, with this in mind I attacked the man trying to put the neck cast on, and you want to know something else that's interesting? I was still very concious to see myself act out of control, but I wasn't there to control it, it took a couple of men to pin me down to the ground and finely get the cast on me, then they loaded me up onto a slab and threw me inside the ambulance truck, as terrifyed as I was from my "episode" I felt the beating of my heart getting faster and faster (and also remember that I couldn't feel my lower body only the area around my neck and head) I had a bloody damn headache and on top of that I had thoughts racing through my head that where also out of control, I though of my family and everyone else I could remember, or that I've known throughout my past life, the worst out of all this was the feeling that I was an atheist and I felt something I couldn't before, it wasn't the typical 'fear of death' trauma that anyone would get, it was the fear that me being an atheist at that time brought much to think about it and the fact that I felt there was a supernatural deity and that very moment, so I did something I don't normally do or would have done, I prayed to God (if there was one) that I wouldn't die and go somewhere I might end up regretting for eternal life, whatever that may be, all in all the paramedics were asking me some additional information on where to contact my guardian and etc. etc., my mind could only think of these specific things so therefore I blocked them out from my heartbeating and the rush of fear that came over me, it was what you would call "overwhelming."
After I prayed, I didn't get a response of any kind or a voice inside my head that people hear of and want to get after, no, that didn't happen, I was assured that whatever God is up there had left me, because I was an atheist and I just gave up my chances, that increased my fear to the fullest, that I would die and also go somewhere I could not possibly imagine where, so with all of this crammed inside my jelly filled brain (after the concisioun I came out with secreated blood around the outside of my skull much like an sponge-like material with a fat-like thickness) I was rushed through the ER where they pushed me through cat scans and shoved tranqualizers down my throat until I was again slowly put to sleep, waking up later in a hospital bed in one of the rooms, with once again the bloody stiff neck cast around me, still unable to feel my torso and lower end, my dad was there and he wasn't crying or anything, I guess he just held it in, but then again he seemed so happy to be there at the hosptial with me, and I wasn't exactly sure as to why.
No I wasn't "miserable and unhappy" as you would think I would have been, I was more afraid of dying and not knowing what lyed ahead for me, whether it be heaven or hell, you know you take the time to think about these things even as an atheist, or at least I would hope for the most part, I know I did.
After a few more transfers to other hospital rooms the doctor was about to break the results of the cat scan and etc., etc., to my dad and self, and while waiting I could have only thought about the idea of the doctor saying "he is going to die", but I will tell you what happened instead, the doctor said I was going to live, and that my accident, although well near spent to death, that I would heal in at least two weeks, being mobile and completely functional again, the doctors say that despite the blood filled areas for some reason he couldn't make it out but I was going to live regardless, the doctors mentioned they hadn't seen anything like it before, as most people in these types of accidents would have died or end up being parilayzed for the rest of their lives, I couldn't believe it myself when I was said I was going to live again.
Over the two in a half days I was in the hospital, it seemed more like a week and a half spent in excruciating pain and unable to walk steadily out of bed just to get around only a slightly little, and the fact I was unable to move around much in my bed, meaning that I was stuck in the same position for two in a half days straight, and three hours seemed like twenty four, to put it in shorter words, the time I was experiencing was worse than any other as it only seemed to take longer for me to get out of the position I was in, nonetheless, knowing I was going to live.
I came out of the hosptial, luckily the neck cast was taken off and I could move the area that I was locked tightly in for the time being, and walking became a difficult task to get ahold of my mobility once again, it was much like learning how to take baby steps, much like a toddler does, a couple of the times I nearly fell down the stairs (
), and a few times my dad would help me around the house, it was a miserable moment I was experiencing but I became convinced that things were for the better, I literally felt like a dead zombie, a person without a mind to control like their own, that wasn't the case for me, as it came across myself.
It was allot like when you watch a TV show about someone who goes through a "life changing experience" and then they have to at least try (although they sit around and became hesitant and give up on hope) and get back to the starting point from which they came from, despite their dispositions, which I know that's what you have and trust me I know slightly what that feels like, I can of course walk and gained all of my normal physical health, and with a few more extra sharp senses of course, I do feel sorry that I you live in a disposition and I don't, but the fact of the matter is that I came very close, and it's not easy when you feel death is coming after you and you can't even blink because that gets your guard down.
When the doctors said I would heal in two weeks, I healed in less, I started walking again just fine and got used to do doing so in three to four days after I had just come out of the hospital, I was completely healthy and I felt strong in some weak areas, I didn't feel invincible, and it's one of the main reasons I would love to get an inner connection to the creator of the universe, whatever the hell he is, I have no doubts in my mind that it's the God that was talked about in the bible, why? Because later on my dad tells me a story of how he had his friends pray, my entire family pray, even people I didn't know about but somehow had a connection to our family prayed, I didn't know what to think with all of this being thrown in my direction, my mom who came down all the way from Montana was driving all the way down to Colorado just to see me in the hospital, the roads were icy and she almost slipped and fell into a ditch, but ironically something stopped her on the way, you never know what happens in these types of situations, good thing she wasn't hurt and made it on her way.
The main difference between you and I is that I prayed, even though I was a completely non-believing atheist, you might also find it suprising, that a month before that accident, a man from Nigeria told me that I was to be a great preacher, and this is no lie, he was a minister who has lived under much opression and hatred by his government towards his people, I didn't take this into mind and soon forgot about it and went on living because I thought this guy (like any other Christian) was a whackjob and didn't know what he was talking about, looks like this was my mistake.
I'm not going to go into much detail of how that happened, but please don't give me a lecture on how to appreciate life because you went through your accident, I certaintly went through mine, and it's not very pleasant as you and I can both see, I'm trying to look for answers and I'm still seeking to this very day, because of all that's happened to me, no I'm not making any of this up so you'll believe me, every detail down to the last word happened, I'm confused at how the world works, but I'm going to keep on trying to seek a spirituality of sorts, allot of you might try to tear at me and tell me how I survived this accident without the doing of a "supernatural deity", and the fact is it doesn't matter, and I'm not here to compare stories, but please don't hand out lectures like that one to me again, I'm serious, because despite the situation your in, I went through hell trying to get out and make it and survive, thanks for trying to give me a "life lesson" but I don't really need that criticism even though it's constructive, and no one here please tell that I do, because I don't, no matter how much you decide to pick apart at this, so I'd appreciate it if we don't have conversations like this one in the future, I had to control myself from getting crazy and cussing and showing a bad sense of character, so please, don't tell me anything like that again, I find it offensive and ignorant, that's just my opinion but only because I've been there, I thank you for your time trying to be a role figure though, but I don't need the specific criticism your throwing my way.
Thank you for reading.
I know i'm repeating myself, but it just really doesn't make sense at all...
thats MY point of view...good one init?? 
bling bling!!!
gets confusing after that
And now for a bit of De-evolution....