"It's been reported that British Prime Minister Tony Blair is going to be stepping down next summer. After hearing about it, President Bush said, 'Damn, he's the only foreign guy who speaks American.'." --Conan O'Brien
"On Friday, President Bush held a press conference with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and then he met with the 'American Idol,' Taylor Hicks. Those are our two last remaining allies apparently." --Jay Leno
"Prime Minister Tony Blair admitted during an interview this week that he has smacked his children, though only because he believed reports that they were carrying weapons of mass destruction." --Tina Fey
"Tony Blair said yesterday that 'extremists are no longer welcome in the U.K.' So even Tony Blair is trying to distance himself from President Bush." --Jay Leno
"President Bush held a press conference at the White House with British Prime Minister Tony Blair. President Bush likes holding press conferences with Prime Minister Blair because he doesn't have to use any interpreters. Of course, Blair still needs one to understand President Bush." --Jay Leno
"Tony Blair was re-elected for the third time. This is great news for the White House because without Tony Blair, who is there to translate the Bush foreign policy into English?" --Bill Maher
"This week British Prime Minister Tony Blair was re-elected to a record-setting third term as George Bush's b****." --Amy Poehler
"I have some exciting news. In Britain, in a Democratic election, Tony Blair has been rewarded with a third term as prime minister. And I just want to say for me -- I'm sorry. It's a little emotional to see democracy flourish in that part of the world. I'm not saying that it's because of the Iraqi war -- but it happened after. They said that you couldn't bring democracy to those scone-eating, tea-drinking bastards and I said 'No, everyone yearns to be free.'" --Jon Stewart
"Tony Blair met with President Bush at the White House yesterday. Did you see their press conference? They’re kind of like the before-and-after commercial for Hooked on Phonics." --Jay Leno
"Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?" —Jay Leno
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