Okay I have a friend who is really scared of zombies.. I tell her they are fake (other than perhaps a mind-altered voodoo zombie) but she insists they are real.

She even went out and bought a book called the 'ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE' and it tells you different sightings, ways to protect yourself from zombie attacks, things like that.

Ive scanned through the book, and although the author seems to be writing stuff that HE BELIEVES I cant get out of my head it is just some type of fictional entertainmemt piece.

I wanted to know if anybody else here has heard of this book, what their opinions are, and what your feelings on zombies are.

thanks
maybe I can show this to her later so she wont keep thinking this is real

BURNSIDE... Where are you my?

The Zombie Survival Guide is written by Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks. That should give it away right there.

It's just a satirical comedy sort of book, nothing serious at all. There's been a few cases where people have posted threads on UM where they were convinced it was a non-fiction book.

Make her watch the Evil dead series. That'll fix her right up.

It's just a work of fiction, like AC said. That's all it was ever intended to be.

Make her watch Shaun of the dead.

You think Burnside would have replied already...

He is just gathering his thoughts.. don't worry he will be here.

I take it Burnside is big into zombies?

I thought from his name he would be big into the civil war

He started a 600 page thread on resident evil. Yes, he's into zombies.

lol

Absolutely.. He is the man.

I have that book! For what it is, I think its a great book and an insightful, well written little read. Given commonly accepted knowledge on zombies (ie: movies, tv, video games and folklore) its pretty informative. By the end of the book, i found myself saying "hmm, i could do this". It had me pondering entry points of my house, where I would flee to, and what, in lieu of firearms, I had onhand I could use for self preservation (i'd go with an aluminum bat or a good shovel).

I agree that "Shaun of the Dead" and of course the Evil Dead Trilogy are great to show your necrophobic friend that zombies arent really too scary. Of course, you could also remind her that she's older than 6.


For the record, I dont really believe in zombies or that theres a T-virus or Somnibum outbreak on the horizon. Zombie Survival Guide is an informative and fun book, but you don't have to take MY word for it! <cue Levar Burton>


"Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high..."

"....braaaaiinsss......"

Oh yeah. Bow down to him, mortals!

Has anyone seen the movie Serpent and the rainbow?
It deals with the concept of voodoo priests drugging the victim which is prosumed dead.
Then buried only to wake up!
LOL

Also, OP if you'd have put this title into the search engine, you'd have gotten a lot of hits.

Well, tell her that ZOMBIES are impossible. However, madly driven or neuroaltered humans to aggressive porportions are possible and could be easily mistaken for zombies. However, they'd be like normal humans that are extremely violent. One shot anywhere and most likely die.

So how old is your friend?

Like youre freind I am very afrade of zombies even tho I know thay dont exist. there is some thing about how some of the movies are made and the thought of swarming dead people FREEKS ME OUT!!!

Funny thing is I am not afrade in any way of any other kind of monster or real being. Not freddy jason vampires wolfs nothing

Come on, you mean to tell me that if Jason was chasing you through the woods, you would stop to say hello?

LOL!

Well, i feel i've taught the good people of UM enough on this subject for them to fill in the posts in my absence. But i appreciate the thoughts that immediately turned to me at the mention of zombies.

.. i think..



Yes, the Zombie Survival Guide is a great read, and infact even informative to certain degrees. But it is satire indeed and written for fun, there is absolutely nothing in it that is ment to be taken seriously.

Nadal is completely correct of course, while he is referring to the typical Hollywood Zombie, an undead carcass risen to feast, somehow, on flesh. It's idiotic although a fun fantasy to dwell in none the less! However, the Zombie itself is no work of fiction, although it's image may indeed have been warped by myth and legend. But i'll repeat, an undead monster cannot exist. Once the body is dead, it is a rock, and just as capable as getting up and moving around as a rock is. (And no reference to the moving rocks in the desert please, we know what i mean hehe.) A Zombie can be either a combatose slave whose mind has been damaged by poisons and oxygen depravation, or it could be a person who is diseased and in a state of utmost rage, seen in mainstream in such movies like 28 Days Later. It cannot be a walking corpse.

Your lass has nothing to be afraid off...... unless someone somewhere out there is developing some nasty chemical WMD to turn the population of countries into braindead ghouls adamant on tearing her limb from limb.... but you can leave that part out.


Thanks, always enjoy a good Zombai topic!

Or Attack of the Clones. Lotsa zombies in that one.

I just got done reading that book "The Zombie Survival Guide" and it was a great book. Even if zombies aren't real, if something happens to make some zombie-like creatures I'll be well prepared .

P.S. I hear puffer fish hold the key neurotoxin in the voodoo zombie process.

Okay, Read This.....

You Arent crazy to believe in something okay, But zombies arent real, But if you feel strongly, just get ALOT of weapons and you should be fine, zombies dont have minds. they are stupid okay, so its fiction in movies, tecnicaly they shouldent be able to walk.

Opus you are correct. Puffer fish neurotoxin is what is used in some voodoo poisons. Zombies, I believe, statred in Japan. People would eat an ill prepared puffer fish and die. As much as 4 days later they would climb up out of their graves. This is why some Japanese people don't bury anyone for 4 or 5 days. Just incase the cause of death was puffer poisoning.

Also I read that there is a new strain of Malaria in Cambodia. This strain is carried by mosqutoes. A while after being bitten you die. But, 30 minutes after you die, your heart as well as a few other organs kick back up again. People have gotten up and walked around again, but remain mostly dead and have all of the popular characteristics of being a zombie. They are also trying to find out what makes the heart kick back on again. It also said that these people are thinking of useing this idea for military purposes..... This should sound EXTRERMLY familiar to a few of you. Burnside definitly!

I am also well prepaired for an invasion. I have been in various different forms of martial arts since I was 7. I am now 30. I have a fair sized arsenal of swords and know how to use them all in many different styles. Also, it wouldn't be too difficult to get a shot gun. I have had zombie nightmares since I was 15 years old. Where one leaves off the next picks up.... Its like a freaking life long horror movie!! I've had EXTENSIVE training! Did you know you can even unscrew a zombies head off useing a 10 foot bull whip?? I had no clue untill it was the only weapon left in a dream. It works REALLY well!! Also, in a different dream I ended up finding a cure. It was the bite from a South American spider, can't remember what kind though.....

The Cambodian Malaria thing probably isn't real......

Mostar, to me its more like a slosh instead of a walk....

No, I’m pretty sure that if you eat an ill-prepared puffer fish you die and stay dead. But tetrodoxin extracted from the animal is used by some ‘witchdoctors’ – powder containing the toxin is blown onto passers by where it passes into their system and causes ‘death’. Cue voodoo ritual to bring the victim back to life, cue unlimited gratitude and usually a lifetime’s servitude from the victim in return for their ‘resurrection’…

Well, that explains my bosses little "toadie".....Hmmmmmm..*wonders if his mother-in-law has ever had a nice pufferfish dinner*

So if I made Johnny Depp into a voodoo zombie slave would he lose any of his looks acting ability?

God, I hope not.

I think that would wholly depend on what...*ahem*..."position" he was placed in...

*keeps mouth firmly shut*

I don’t know whether any level of decay or rigor mortis sets in during the period the ‘corpse’ is interred…. He might have a bit of an Edward Scissorhands look about him. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.

No, I liked that look too.

If it can cut the lawn on command.....it can stay.

Utahraptor, while i do admire anyone who has the dedication to pursue any martial art long enough to be good at it, i'm of the opinion that you dont want to engauge a zombie in hand to hand combat. From what I understand of them, the only way to stop them is to bash their brains in or separate the spinal column from the neck. While I dont doubt the fatality of many martial art techniques, are you so sure of your ability as to be able to crush a skull or sever a head with your bear hands in ONE attack (i doubt youd get more than one if youre under siege )? Keep in mind also, in most of these scenarios the zombieism is passed through fluid exchange or bite wounds. I dont think you would want to put your hands or feet anywhere near the mouth of a zombie, or risk cutting your skin on a piece of shattered skullbone and gaining infection that way. At the least, do the rest of us a favor and use a weapon so we wont all have to contend with "Karate Zombie" should you happen to fall!

A lot of high calibur guns, while great for stopping normal humans, wont have the same kick against zombies. You want a gun that has the power to penetrate and cause massive damage, but not so strong as to completely punch a clean hole straight through without doing more than creating a "whistle hole". Also, bodyshots wont do much against a zombie, since their organs are doing little more than adding to their smell. A shotgun is good for crowd suppression, since it is a powerful spread blast that will push a few back, but unless you aim at the head, they are only delayed a few steps.

I agree with the sword idea, if your good at them. A well trained, powerful katana swing would be paramount to just about any other melee attack since the katana was intended as the ultimate "one swing, one kill" weapon. Otherwise, it'd be like trying to cut a steak with a spoon if you dont know what your doing! Thats why, as a kung fu layman, i would go with a bat or, for more range, a shovel. Besides, you could also decapitate a fallen deadite with the shovel's blade, or at least dig your own grave if the situation gets bleak.

Uh oh..........

I find the best way to stop a zombie is either to hit pause or stop. Either of the two works just as well.

RKD

It was just a matter of time....

Kung Fu Zombie: Enter the Draggin'

Crouching undead, hidden zombie.............Oh, no...now look what we've started.

I've only read the first couple of chapters of "The Zombie Survival Guide" and I must say, I thought it was hilarious. If you disregard the fact that it is meant to be humorous, you can see some very valid points, like:

Don't waste your energy. The undead don't run, so why should you?

and

Arm yourself with a weapon that doesn't need to be reloaded, such as a machete or baseball bat.

Common sense stuff, really

House of flying stakes,

The Seven Sarcophagai,

Fangs of Fury,

The Big Gross,

Bite of Death,

Kiss of the DraGHOUL,

Zombie on Fire (Ok not quite a Kung-Fu flick, but a HK movie nevertheless)

Bullet in the Head... wait... never had to change that one


Walker: Texas Vampire...

I'sa gonna stop now

RKD

I would like to issue a formal apology for uncorking the stopper from this keg of stupidity..........saw it coming from a mile away, lol.

I wouldnt say that:) but i wouldnt be afrade to go at it with him even if I know he will kill me. death doesnt scare me theres just some thing about zombies cant put my finger on it.

Well hopefully there won't be any Zombie outbreaks,
SOON...

Shop smart shop S-Mart!

When in my presence, thou shalt say nothing lest ye be prepared to accept the consequences.

RKD

I hear.....and obey....

Yeah! I got the Datura tree sap now! Woohoo! I can make my own zombie army to fight them evil zombie invaders!

How will you know which zombies are which? How will you be able to tell the difference between a good zombie and a bad zombie? Come to think of it... How will you even know if your good zombies are in fact good zombies, and not bad zombies in the first place? In which case they might ally with the pre-existing bad zombies and make the evil invasion army even bigger! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN, DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

RKD