Ive been through serious psychosis and managed to crawl my way from the bottomless pit that lurks in our minds...since recovery ive found that when im with people, talking or just being in the company of people my mind is at rest, its only when i drive home alone and walk into my house when everyone is sleeping that i feel a sinking feeling, for a brief time i feel like im falling back into that black bottomless pit, i hate being alone, my mind needs companionship in order to feel comfortable. why is this?

Hey man, I cannot answer your question. I am fascinated nevertheless by your problem. No doubt the problem can be traced into your subconscious(we use the word so frivolously now). My advice is to take time to reflect and question yourself from every angle you can imagine. Don't be hard on yourself and dont get easily discouraged. I'm gonna stop now before I start sounding like Dr Phil hahahahaha. Anyway man, best of luck!!

simple. we're a social species, social creatures. like wolves, like ants, like bees. being alone goes against our nature and that explains that feeling you get.

The way I look at it, we are very rarely truly alone. Driving in my car for example. I've got the radio or a cd playing and I'm connecting with the artists or the dj. Even reading a book I'm connecting with the author.

Those times when I might be alone. I could be sitting outside as night, looking up at the stars with only myself for company, but I'm still thinking about all the 'What ifs?'. Will we ever get to the stars? What will we find? Ditto for meditative contemplation etc.

I guess the trick is to then let imagination take over. Imagination is much more optimistic than reality.

Deficiency of certain chemicals in our brain, makes us act or react in certain ways.

On top of that problem, we are all to some degree insecure. With our insecurities, it brings out fears, one fear can be, afraid of being alone. Some people have the exact oppisite fear, of being around people.

I'm not a doctor by any means, I just have been down this road with a familiy member. There is medication for this medical problem. My beautiful sister in law is on the medication. she will never be cured, her chemical balances has been under control by medication she lives a full productive life.

I agree with you, we are living in the age of noise and distraction. Everything from billboards to radio constantly trying to intensify our desires to keep us continually wanting and not being happy with what we have. Solitude is a definate need for reflection. But our minds are constantly rattling with anxiety or anticipation or thinking of the next pleasure or regretting the past or reliving the past with nostalgia etc.

I'm a social recluse. I don't party or even really like many people. However, I'm always surprised that no one mentions a disclaimer when saying we're a social species. Most are, eys, but not all. And that does not mean those of us who are not are crazy. I just hate society, it's wrong. It's shallow. Either way, to your problem, I would suggest seeing a doctor. There is nothing wrong with it, although there is a social stigma attached with mental health, or the lack thereof. I didn't say it was healthy to be reclusive mind you, it is sometimes comfortable though. Peace, my friend. Feel better.

B_N_W,

Distraction and noise wasn't quite what I was trying to convey when I theorised we are rarely alone. It was more a response to mrhamblee's sense of 'aloneness' and lack of social interaction from time to time.

What I meant was that, rather than being distracting, these things - the radio, books etc - allow you to have a social interaction of sorts, even though there's no-one actually with you. So long as you feel connected to what the radio artist, dj or author are trying to express then you are with them in a social sense.

Things like advertising IMO are different and they would correspond to your 'noise'.

like OvercastComfort, i thrive in solitude. individual thought is what sets me apart from the rest. everyone is different, so i say go with what you've got and dont long for what you dont...

true happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want

Thanks for all the input so far....

i guess the way im feeling at the moment is a good sign. over the last few years my life has followed a particular path, infact i wandered the path so manytimes that the carpet is getting worn out and so is my desire to walk it anymore. I hate routine but miss it when it is gone. i used to hate being around people and then hate it more when i was alone. Then i hated being alone and loved being around people. the loved being alone. it feels like the rollercoaster ive been on is finally working all the bolts loose and eventually im gonna fly off. where i land i dont know...what i hope is that i land a companion who wants what i want, nothing complicated, a simple life. one day to become a dad. to become a father would give my life purpose, that which i have been lacking. i feel like god is slapping me, saying "come on lad, the world will not give out anything to you, the world just sits there as are you, you must be brave, grasp the reigns", ive let life unfold around me all my life that i feel im longer able to even see the reigns. it is indeed a time of reflection...

Sounds like you know what you want to do mrhamblee

Gone through similar times myself. There's always a time for reflection and a pause for breath before you set out to make of life what you will again.

Grasp the reigns. The world can be a wonderful place if you want it to be.

Thanks

. However, I'm always surprised that no one mentions a disclaimer when saying we're a social species.
I can't agree more. I teach and work with people all day. I enjoy the social interaction. For 25 years we lived in an isolated farmhouse where my wife sometimes saw no one but me for weeks at a time. She was as happy as larry, although at times she asked me for a bit more "space". When we were forced to move into a small country town, she was forced to deal with several people every day, and it was really difficult for her to deal with. She had to explain to people who visited that she just wanted to be left alone. She leads a busy and productive life and is quite"fulfilled". She just does not need the company of other people.

well were all different...

Yes mrhamblee. I guess that is the point I wanted to make. I did not mean to minimise/belittle your concerns expressed in the opening post, but to reinforce them by saying that it is important that we find a way to satisfy or at least understand our "needs" so that we can work with them /around them. Psychological needs seem to be a bit more tricky to fulfil than physical ones, but you have certainly taken an important step in identifying important requirements for your happiness. I think you should try to fulfil these needs, while at the same time trying to understand why they are particularly important to you, and whether they can be met in a variety of forms(eg. online communication as well as face to face contact) It is not suprising that your needs change through different phases of your life. I guess like any concern, the best approach is to identify it,understand it ,take what practical steps you can to solve it and then not worry too much about the things ove which you have no control. Hope this does not sound too patronising. In general it has worked for me over many years, but as you point out, all people are different.

If you want your question to be answered, don't ask here. We can only give opinions and none of us understands truly your condition or how you feel.

No one can ever truly give me answer, and im not really looking for one. but in posting and reading what other people think, it helps. thanks for everyones input so far.