Hello everyone, this is the first edition of happy time story hour, where I will tell you all a wonderful story.

So one day this man named Bill was born. When Bill grew up, he went to his neighbouring town, pinkerton. He saw a beautiful woman, so he went back to his town and told his parents to make her his wife. His parents agreed and went on their way to the neighbouring town. Later on, when Bill was in a vineyard, a lion came by and roared at Bill. But Bill's ancestors' spirit came inot him, and he tore the lion apart with his bare hands. Later on, when Bill was walking by the lion's carcass, he saw that bees had made a nest inside it. So he took their honey and started eating it as he was heading home. Then he gave some to his parents once he was home, and didn't tell them it was from a dead lion's carcass. So later that night, Bill and his family were having a feast. Bill said to the people at this feast, I will tell you a riddle. If you get it correct within 7 days, I will give you 30 linen garments and sets of clothes. And he said "Out of the eater, something to eat. Out of the strong, something sweet." Well his relatives were unable to get the riddle right for 3 days. So on the 4th day, Bill's parents told Bill's wife to get the answer from him, and if she didn't they would burn her father's house to death. So eventually she got Bill to tell her and she told the parents' the answer. Well Bill found out, and his ancestors' spirit came into him so he went to millyville and knocked out thirty of the men, and took all their clothes and belongings. Then he went to his father's home. His father gave away his wife to a friend. Later on, Bill was headed to his wife's room, but his father told him that he gave his wife away to a friend. So he got angry at the pinkerton-ites. He captured 300 foxes and tied their tails together in pairs. Then he but a torch on each pair of tells and set them free. They burned all the crops of the pinkerton-ites. When the pinkerton-ites heard about this happening, they burned Bill's father and wife to death. So bill went to the pinkerton-ites and viciously slaughtered many of them, then went to stay in a cave in the rock of hulabaloo. Well his friends heard about this, and went to take Bill prisoner to the pinkerton-ites. When he was near the pinkerton-ites, the spirit of his ancestors came into him again, so he broke free from the ropes and killed 1000 pinkerton-ites with a donkey's jawbone. Then Bill became the leader of Giggletown for 20 years. Well after all this time, Bill went to cooky cove to see a prostitute. Cooky cove was expecting him and planned to kill him at dawn. But Bill left early so they were unable to. Later on, Bill met a woman named Rachel. Rachel was a pinkerton-ite. Well the pinkerton-ites asked Rachel to learn of Bill's weakness, so they could capture him. Rachel tried many times, but each time Bill revealed a false weakness and killed the pinkerton-ites that tried to capture him. Until one day, he was tired of Rachel's nagging and told her that if someone cut his hair, he would be weak like anybody else. So now the pinkerton-ites captured him, gouged his eyes out and took him to a ballroom for entertainment. But Bill asked his ancestors to help him one more time, and they did. He destroyed the pillars of the ballroom, and it came crashing down and killed everyone in it. The end.

Now, if you're a Christian thinking to yourself.. What!? Don't be too wierded out, you believe all this happened.. except with a few names changed. This is just the story of Samson, starting at Judges 13:1. I hope it's given some who are Christian a chance to read the Bible without thinking they were reading the Bible, and maybe realize it's a bit ridiculous? Any rational person here would say that sounds just like any tall tale, except maybe a bit more gory.

Anyone else want to post their favorite Bible Stories, or try to tell me why that last one makes any sense at all?

Calling others beliefs fairy tales is disrespectful and against the rules.

• Please always respect the religious beliefs of others.

If you would like your story to have a happy ending keep this in mind.

Eh, I'm just trying to point it out for what it really is. I will edit it so it isn't called a fairy tale. Although if the Bible has a fairy tale in it, am I not allowed to call it a fairy tale?

There is no place in the Bible where the text says "the following is a fairy tale" so, I would think not.

It doesn't have to say it's a fairy tale for it to be one...



This story fits the definition fairly well. While it isn't of folk origion, It is a more sophisticated narrative containing supernatural or obviously impossible events, scenes, and personages and has a whimsical and moralistic character.


I wasn't saying "fairy tale" to be disrespectful, I was saying it because I believe that the story is in fact a fairy tale, and I was trying to present it in a less biblical light, possibly causing some people to more realisticly analyze their own beliefs.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but nowhere in the story of Samson does it use the phrase "ancestor's spirit". Rather the phrase "Spirit of the Lord" or some such usage was used. I know your reasoning for using the phrase, but it makes a big difference. Remember that from the perspective of a Christian, we believe that God did in fact interact with people, and we believe that God has the spiritual power to grant people superhuman strength and such.

A modern day equivalent is not possible because we live in a different time where God does not interact with humanity the way he did in the Old Testament.

I realise you believe the Bible to be a big crock, and that's fine. But don't expect people to agree with you just because your reasoning makes sense to you. Just because God no longer physically interacts in the world is not to say that God didn't physically interact with the world.

Regards, PA

it just kinda made me think about how hard our adversary constantly tries to take away any kind of victory we might gain through god.maybe when we dont stay focused on god to help us ,and slip to lean to our flesh for understanding

I know, again I said I was using different terms to tell the same story.

I mean, you really don't see how rediculous the story is? Catching 300 foxes? Foxes aren't common animals, and once he caught each one what did he do with it while hunting another one? Why wouldn't he just start the crops on fire himself? Killing 1000 men with a donkey's jawbone? What, God supported him in that? Eating honey out of a lion's carcass? He tells his wife his real weakness even when he knows she's tricking him and will tell the philistines? If it was the spirit of the Lord making him strong, then why did cutting off his hair change anything? He took revenge on the Philistines when his father was the one who gave his wife away? Etc, etc, etc... And it's only three chapters in the Bible! It's so barbaric and rediculous...

No ammount of evidence will change another's faith. No matter how straight forward or reasonable that evidence is. People will just find unreasonable ideas to override the reasonable ones so they can keep their faith.

You won't change anybodies minds here KBA. The faithfull can not be swayed and you already have the vote of the faithless.

Every religion has a mythology...could one exist without it?

I mean, you really don't see how rediculous the story is? Not from an ancient perspective, only perhaps from a modern one.

Catching 300 foxes? Foxes aren't common animals, and once he caught each one what did he do with it while hunting another one? WHo knows?

Why wouldn't he just start the crops on fire himself? WHo knows?

Killing 1000 men with a donkey's jawbone? What, God supported him in that? I'll have to go back to the passage to double check (too tired right now), but I don't recall God either supporting or condemning the act. The Bible just states that it happens. Remember that Samson was hardly a godly man in his life, so it very well could be that what he did was wrong. Of course, maybe there are reasons (as I said, I'll have to double/triple check the passage which I'm too tired to do right now)

Eating honey out of a lion's carcass? Yup.

He tells his wife his real weakness even when he knows she's tricking him and will tell the philistines? A man's mind turns to muck when women are involved - didn't ya know that. Have you never told someone something knowing they'd give away your secret, in the hope that you were wrong? Oh, sorry. I guess you've never been in love then.

If it was the spirit of the Lord making him strong, then why did cutting off his hair change anything? Earlier in the Bible, God set the guidelines for how a Judge (of which Samson was one) was to behave. I can't recall the exact specifcs (and I'm too tired right now to check the passage) but suffice it to say that Samson was hardly the model Judge. He followed none of those rules, except one - he never cut his hair. And despite Samson's failings, in order to bring about God's plan, God gave Samson the benefits of a Judge (superhuman strength, in this particular case). When Samson had his hair cut, he no longer kept ANY of the requirements of being a Judge, therefore lost the benefits.

There wasn't anything inherently special about the hair, just that the cutting of the hair represented a complete disobedience to God's wishes.

He took revenge on the Philistines when his father was the one who gave his wife away? That's the way of culture. Even today people act in similar ways. Person x treated me this way, so I'm going to take out my frustration on person y.

Etc, etc, etc... Etc, etc, etc....

And it's only three chapters in the Bible! It's so barbaric and rediculous... As I said earlier, just because your reasoning makes sense to you, do not expect others to agree with it. Now, would you like to hear the good news of Jesus Christ?

I guess no-one recognizes the Samson story as yet another version of the hero myth, just like Jesus, Mythras, Attis, Heracles, Osiris, etc., ad nauseum. The only difference, for those with an open mind (very few here), is that the drafters of the Hebrew Scriptures left out the part about Samson coming back some day. The story is probably a remnant of an old Solar Myth. For those of you who don't know Hebrew, the actual name "Shimshon" actual;ly comes from "Shemesh", which is Hebrew for "Sun". The whole Samson tale is highly reminiscent of many, many old folk stories.

Not from an ancient perspective, only perhaps from a modern one.

Do we see any true stories like this in real history? No, we don't. Even if you take away the God and the strength part you're still left with a rediculous story. It's completely rediculous, even in an ancient perspective.

Who knows? (1)

I doubt there's anywhere on this earth right now where you could just find 300 foxes within a few miles of each other. I really doubt there was anywhere in Bible times. The fox element sounds like it came right out of a tall tale.

I should also mention that you can't just walk up to a fox and catch it, they're very aware animals.

WHo knows? (2)

Why would he do days of work instead of just a few minutes of work? Fires spread easily.

I'll have to go back to the passage to double check (too tired right now), but I don't recall God either supporting or condemning the act. The Bible just states that it happens. Remember that Samson was hardly a godly man in his life, so it very well could be that what he did was wrong. Of course, maybe there are reasons (as I said, I'll have to double/triple check the passage which I'm too tired to do right now)

It says the spirit of the LORD came into him, you'd think God would have to support him to allow that.

A man's mind turns to muck when women are involved - didn't ya know that. Have you never told someone something knowing they'd give away your secret, in the hope that you were wrong? Oh, sorry. I guess you've never been in love then.

When your wife tries to hand you over to someone trying to kill you and you know it, you just don't up and give out your weakness, from the events in the story I would have expected Samson to kill his wife.

I don't think you would be fit to say that, and it's a touchy subject for me. I won't go into details because I don't need pity, but let's simply say that something bad happened to my previous girlfriend of 1 year.

There wasn't anything inherently special about the hair, just that the cutting of the hair represented a complete disobedience to God's wishes.

Yeah, no need to cut the power while he's slaughtering innocent men I guess?

That's the way of culture. Even today people act in similar ways. Person x treated me this way, so I'm going to take out my frustration on person y.

Generally it's "Person x treated me this way so I'm going to take out my frustration on person x."

As I said earlier, just because your reasoning makes sense to you, do not expect others to agree with it. Now, would you like to hear the good news of Jesus Christ?

The only people it makes any sense to is Christians, because it's normal to deny reality to keep your belief system. That's not an insult, but the story is simply rediculous.

Also, GideonMage, that makes a lot of sense to me.

Do we see any true stories like this in real history? No, we don't. Even if you take away the God and the strength part you're still left with a rediculous story. It's completely rediculous, even in an ancient perspective. - from your perspective. To me, it makes a lot of sense. Call taht denial of reality if you will, but that's the way it is. I believe God interacted with humanity in a different way to how he does now.

I doubt there's anywhere on this earth right now where you could just find 300 foxes within a few miles of each other. I really doubt there was anywhere in Bible times. The fox element sounds like it came right out of a tall tale.

I should also mention that you can't just walk up to a fox and catch it, they're very aware animals. Well, in similar vein, Jesus told the fisherman to throw their nets in at one particular point, and there were so many fish some of the nets broke. It's called a miracle, KBA.

Why would he do days of work instead of just a few minutes of work? Fires spread easily. Are you asking me why? The Bible doesn't explain absolutely everything, and anything I suggest will just be my opinion.

It says the spirit of the LORD came into him, you'd think God would have to support him to allow that. Not necessarily. Samson was given a special power. IT was up to Samson how to use that power. In Australia, a new "baby bonus" was introduced recently, where new mothers were given $6000 to help them care for their child. Some mothers used it to help their children. Others used the money to buy drugs and alcohol. Did the government sanction or condone the use of their money for alcoholism and addiction? No, it was up to the individual to use the gift given to them.

When your wife tries to hand you over to someone trying to kill you and you know it, you just don't up and give out your weakness, from the events in the story I would have expected Samson to kill his wife.

I don't think you would be fit to say that, and it's a touchy subject for me. I won't go into details because I don't need pity, but let's simply say that something bad happened to my previous girlfriend of 1 year. My apologies. I was just trying to get across a point. There may be reasons why Samson told his wife, reasons not explained within the story. WHo knows?

Yeah, no need to cut the power while he's slaughtering innocent men I guess? As I said, Samson was chosen to be a Judge of Israel. He wasn't exactly the greatest of bloke's, but his superstrength was given to help him in his task. God uses the ungodly just as he uses the godly to complete his goals. If this story shows me anything, it's that though people may intend their actions for evil, God will bring it for good.

Generally it's "Person x treated me this way so I'm going to take out my frustration on person x." Sometimes. Have you ever had an argument with someone really close to you, then came to work and taken your frustration out on your colleagues? I'm not saying everyone will do that, but it's a common coping mechanism to lash out at someone or something to vent your frustration.

The only people it makes any sense to is Christians, because it's normal to deny reality to keep your belief system. That's not an insult, but the story is simply rediculous. Of course it makes sense to Christians. As soon as the Bible makes sense, generally one becomes a Christian. Though one could make a case that it would make sense to Jews also, or perhaps even Muslim's.