Hi all


For the 1st time in my life as a believer...I got so angry and hurt the other night, that I broke down and told my partner Gary, that I no longer wished to follow God. I said my faith was gone and I was so angry....I have never done that before!!

This was all because of a row that my partner and I had....but at the time it was the straw that broke the camels back.
For many many years I had prayed for things between my partner and I to get better...but when we met other couples, I saw they had problems a lot worse than ours, but it only sank in for a lil while then went again.

I spend at least an hour each day praying that things would work out and get better, I have been doing it for years. We fought over silly things, and when we went out to other friends houses, we saw they had it a lot worse than us, and Gary would use it in defence if we got into an argument...he would have said - "Well thank your lucky stars I am not a drunk and I don’t sleep about on you ect"...but that doesnt solve our own problems I thought. My problem with him was his laziness, always forgetting important things like bills ect...not showing much interest in our child..those things got to me, so I prayed he would at least try and change, but like I said, I have been praying for this for a long time now.

Gary snapped at me when I mentioned prayers and said - "Will you STOP pushing your beliefs on to me like that, asking me to pray with you, who do you think you are"- this angered me big time!!...due to this outburst I could take NO MORE of it....I broke down and said I was done with praying...done with talking to God and asking for help, I havent gotten anywhere!!!!

After some time, we had calmed down nd something reminded me that it takes two to fight, and it takes two to make it work...not one but two, then I was reminded from within, about the time when Gary and i where so desperate to have a child, so much that he prayed night and day with me after I lost the 1st child. So...I told him all, reminded him of a number of things when we both prayed together............he soon broke down and said - "true enough Geri, the prayers where answered when we both did it together, you are right, so if there is a problem with the two of us, then maybe that is God saying it takes two to fight, and two to fix it again" he then asked me not to give up my faith. He then later admitted that, because I did pray so much, he felt he didn't need to..he was too lazy and thought, sure if Geri does it herself all should be fine....he was so wrong!!

I then began praying again only this time with him...told God my reasons ect..then things began to shape up..unlike before...they havent gotten a bed of roses as yet, these things take time..but hey Rome wasn't built in a day!! LOL...

I did get angry and found it so easy to blame God....I know there are others that have done the same....but how many of you have felt this way, then was sorry you did?? or have you just remained angry and left it at that?

Just wondering!!!

meh. ive never really believed in God anyway.

I've known more than a few who refused to get angry at god. I personally did, once upon a time. I later repented, and discovered that God didn't strike me down, so I suspect that he doesn't hold grudges. He's a big guy like that. Nowadays I'm an atheist, so it doesn't really matter to me, but I can't help but wonder if there are still people who could benefit from getting angry at god a little till they work through their problems. I'm sure he could handle it.

To be honest if you have any problems like that again i would recommend placing god on the backseat while you and your partner sit down and talk things over. Im sure God would not mind taking a backseat while you try and sort your problems out.

I know God is important to you and i dont want you to think that im saying get rid of God im just saing if problems like that arise a hands on approach at tackling the problem is better than praying and hoping things work out. I hope you and your partner have a wonderful life together with your child.

Geri, I think that just the power you and gary put into the universe together had everything to do with getting peace in return. I think you both realized what the other needed and it worked itself out by virtue of equal understanding, not an answer from a god.
I have found that the peace you seek is within you and only you. I look to myself for the answers.
I can't control what other people do but I can control how it effects me. When you realize and put this into effect it will work for you as well.

Hi Geri good to see you back, we have missed you around here.
Anger can sometimes be a constructive emotion even when directed at God. I have been angry with God on a few occasions mostly for the same reasons as you, I expected God to intervene within a fight that was not His in the first place. I expected Him to step up to the plate for me, his not too humble follower. In a relationship two become one in Gods eyes and we are warned of being of unequal yoke. As one, we must possess the same goals and desires as each other, God rarely picks sides.
I am glad that your husband realized his burden was hurting the load you already have to carry in the relationship and corrected it out of love for you.

All The Best Irish

Geri, (((hugs)))) I have missed you, I have been angry as you are describing in relationships throughout my life, but i held myself and my choices accountable as a NB i see myself responsible for my life...I am in a wonderful relationship now and it began long ago much like yours ( a partner ago) there comes a point where what is in your best interest as decided by you is the highest vision for the relationship and that may mean the relationship with gary changes form......or grows.....You deserve to be happy , you deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be who you have decided you are.... and as an old friend I say don't settle for less.The best relationships are alot about compromise you find a way to get each others needs met that makes each other happy, it never works when its only one way, Gary has to find a way to allow for you to have your spirituality that dosen't mean you have to deny who you are....TAlk , talk , talk till you reach a agreement that works...

Hmm. This probably will not be of any help, but just in case I will tell you that mine was a total pain about telling me what I think and what I feel until I told him that until he wears a Kotex for a week and expands what he really knows about how I think and feel, he could STFU.

Ha ha ha ah good one bella, You know i wanted to home school and my hubby felt it was a very bad idea and it got to I'll take him to school, I said i'll pick him up like two immature kids this was probably the worst fight we ever had truthfully anyways his concerns were this would be like my sewing stage or mural painting stage I'd lose interest and our kid would not get an education, i actually felt that was a legitiamite concern.
I went to work got help form many of my teacher friends presented it to him and asked him for one year and in that time if i failed we would put him in school...well he agreed, begrudginly but he did and its been two years and our kid has skipped a grade ( which he advocates home schooloing now to all his friends LOL )and i'm in a wonderful charter with lots of help...
So my point it we have to take a stand for what we think is for our best and be willing to compromise , to often we overlook the art of persuasion as a tool to get what we want ......meaning i was home schooling with or without his consent but for the sake of peace i found a way to make it a smooth ride for all of us.....

I think getting angry with God is something that all of us who have a relationship with Him do at some point (or several points) in our relationship with Him. As you know I am a staff member at a church, and I love my job. This is actually my second time on the staff of this church. The first time I was laid off because the church's finances took such a blow that it could not afford to pay my salary. I was so angry with God that I couldn't even face it myself. I pretended I was not angry at Him for almost a year. When it all came out it was an intense explosion of emotion. I was at another job.... and it SUCKED! I finally let God have it. How could He have given me my dream job just long enough to let me really enjoy it and then take it away and put me back on the job I hated? I ranted and raved for several days... and when I finally ran down, I realized He was still there, still with me. If I hadn't had a real relationship with Him I would not have felt I could express my anger, so the fact that you got angry at Him is simply an indication that you consider Him someone you are close enough to to be open and real with Him.

I'm sorry that you've felt hurt like this. I think the problem s that you want to have a God there to fix it for you and when you are expecting help from God which will never come it makes it harder to actually do what is necessary to fix it. Prayer won't change things, whether you believe God is on the other end of the line or not. Statistically, it will not change a thing. What you really need to do is try to work it out amongst each other, but without expecting something to just change and all of a sudden you're happy again. Many people keep wishing for that to happen and praying for it but it never comes.

Now I do not want to impose my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) into this situation, but the facts are that even if God exists, he will not change your relationship. I expect to get flak for saying that but it's the cold hard reality of the situation, statistically prayer does not change a thing.

So now, if you really are that upset about your husband's laziness, then tell him about it. If he doesn't know that it's your pet peeve, he won't change it. Try to encourage him to become more pro-active, not in a hostile way but a caring way. These types of things take time, and they require real effort on the human part to make them work. I don't think the answer in this case is prayer, but a mutual understanding of what the problems are and what the possible solutions can be. If he really wants to get on good terms with you, he will put in an effort to be more of what you want him to be.

Edit: By the way I'm sorry for the mistake if he is not your husband

If anyone has reason to be angry with the Gods it would be me. All I have been though in the last few years I should be angry. I told them off one time when I was in the hospital. I told the Dagda to take his club and kill me or cure me I didn't care which, I couldn't take the pain anymore. He sent the Goddess Brigid to comfort me. She is a Goddess of healing. I did slowly start getting better after that night.
In the morning the nurses sent in the shrink, LOL. Fooled them she was one of the few who understood my Paganism and how it makes me different.

I don't think I was angry with the Gods in as much I just want release from my pain. I was like a scared hurt dog biting his master. A good master understands his dog is hurt.

I don't think the Gods are there so much to solve our Earthy problems, as much as they guide and comfort, It took a lot of work and pain in rehab and out of rehab to get back to walking again on my part. I still do rehab on my own to stay on my feet, and hopefully when the next attack comes it will be easier to get back on my feet again. But I am not angry with the Gods, it is not their fault this happen to me, just my bum luck.


Glad to see you back BM

Hate is a path to the dark side.

first of all, OMG BM were the %%%% have you been? havent seen you in ages, and second of all, yes, when i was a believer i would blame everyhting on God, i think people find it easy to do that just ebcause he supposedly the creator of al things, therefore the creator of all the problems an uncomforts in our lives.

I second this

Hello Geri,

I was asked to read the Book of Job some 45 years ago. Its a classic example of anger with God. I think it is good to be honest about your feelings with God, or as some would say, your Spiritual Self.

So I liked the comments from Curiousity about seeking better answers from within. It has been a long journey for me to appreciate this point of view.

So I would recommend praying in a conversation mode and listen for the replies.

John

The first time I got angry at God and vented all of that negativity straight to him, was for good cause, life had dealt what I felt was more than anyone should have to handle. This is usualy when we do get angry.

Anger is a normal human emotion. It tells us when our boundaries are being threatened, when we feel we are being mistreated or disrespected. It shows us our own limitation to love.

Taking anger to God is the healthiest place to start. When I was finished (I talk to God in a very personal way and always have but I don't believe in the God personality most religions embrace, I see God as the infinite wisdom intelligence of the universe) I realized that it is better to take anger (which is truly a form of energy as powerful as any other and has an effect on the one you project it onto) to God, who can easily handle it and transmute it (change it to a more peaceful energy) than to give it to another human.

It is a very healthy thing to allow your anger a healthy outlet. Then to go back and see why you felt so angry.

There were others who gave great advice when they said, the first thing you need to understand is that the only control you have in life is over your reactions and your feelings. Having your feelings/reactions is part of life, recognize them for what they are, your own personal guide for your own growth. You can not change the other but you can change your own perceptions which make you angry.

In relationships it is a process of finding balance. Getting past the anger first before attempting to negotiating that middle way is important. Give it to God, God can take it, and you might even find afterward you have insight and wisdom you did not have before simply because it was blocked by the energy of anger.

There is a very good book out there about anger in relationships, written for women in particular because women are taught that anger is not feminine and women are not supposed to express anger. When women are angry they are called all sorts of things, like shrew, angry, and b...h! But anger is universal. This book will tell you how to define your own bottom line in life, and then how to make shifts or changes in your most important relationships if they are out of balance.

Hope it helps!

Peace!

Link: http://www.harrietlerner.com/pages/dance_of_anger.htm

Indeed anger is a very healthy natural expression, It is very okay to get angry at times and one will...anger becomes a problem when it isn't expressed, anger is the valve that allows the release of negative energy, the way to restore harmony in the enviorment and it never needs to be expressed in a way that is violent, or harmful unfortunately we have a lot of humans who have very immature expressions of anger, simply many do not understand the nature of anger which is actually a discharger of conflict not a creator of it...Not releasing it creates the trouble Its a positive emotion because it helps you get rid of soemthing you don't want....Restoring peace is to be cause for celebration , not a reason to feel bad ......

I got angry at God after 9-11. I got super ticked off. One night during the week after, it starting thundering in the sky and I became afraid. I felt like it was the end of the world and Armegeddon was coming. Then I turned around fierce and got mad. I wrote a letter to God and printed it out and left it on subways and trains. It said that I was willing to fight God if that's what it took to keep life as we know it. I was pretty messed up.

What I realized, and what I hear in your words is that the root of my anger towards God was fear.

It seems to me when you take a leap of faith like that and you expect God to comfort you, it can be terrifying if the help doesn't come when you think you need it, the way you think it "should be."

Picture yourself jumping off the porch and someone catching you? It honestly doesn't take a lot of faith to do that. If you are not caught you get a sprained ankle maybe?

But picture yourself jumping out of an airplane and expecting God to catch you. You are falling and falling and as you get closer to the ground, you get more and more fearful, you are running out of time. If God doesn't catch you then you are going to die.

This is why you are freaking out on your man. He's lazy means, "its not getting done when you want it to get done." He doesn't care enough about the baby means "This is her babyhood, she's not going to be a baby forever."

When you lock yourself into time limits, you forget to live in the moment. We are all guilty of this at one point or another. We get this sensation that we are running out of time.

As a person who was ill for a time, you are especially plagued with the frailty of the time in life.

My suggestion to you is to pause and realize that you are so frazzled that you think you are still falling when God has already caught you. You are safe. You are loved. You are cherished.

Stop being so afraid.

I was very angry at God when my dad died after an extended illness. I prayed that his life would be spared and actually hated God for taking him from me at such a young age (I was 14). As I grew older and started developing my relationship with God, I learned that I needed to depend more on God's timing and not so much on my own.

I will give you an example: My father-in-law wasn't in my hubby's life much while he was growing up. After we got married, I got to meet him only to find out he was a very self-centered man. When we had our daughter, he made it clear that he would not come to visit b/c of a long-standing feud with his family. I decided to write him and his wife every Christmas and send them pictures of our daughter and then of our son. I never got a reply back, a thank-you or anything. During this time, I prayed for him, that he would want to come around and let the kids meet their grandpa. It was 10 yrs. before he finally contacted us. He thanked me for all the cards, letters and pictures he had received over the years. I was so glad I never stopped praying for him and my children have some happy memories of spending time with their grandfather.

Edited because: I was up all night with my youngest being sick.

I don't have much to offer to this conversation, but I do have this link to a video proving that prayer is only a simple superstition....

http://www.godisimaginary.com/video.htm

Agreed!!!!!

My wife follow different beleif, that not going to distrub me.. we both trust our belief and beleive it may show us bright future.. so we never sit for argue that my belief is great... But in my inner mind i always had a pray or wish.. that soon or later she should realise and have a correct belief. And i know the same prayer or wish she also have.. lol

I think people do because well Chrstians believe he is the all higher being so he should be able to do something about the situation. It gives them relief of some kind just like a child blames their parents life for being misirble if they cant do something or the parents wont bail them outta trouble

What I find most annoying about the godisimaginary videos is the quote "if you're a normal, intelligent person". Naturally, anyone who argues against the video is automaticall not one of the "normal, intelligent people". But to answer anyway, the two Bible passages he quoted to support his case weren't entirely accurate, and a fuller reading in context will give you a better idea. If you want me to explain that further, just ask. But more importantly, it should be noted that there is no indication in the Bible that prayer has to be answered with a "yes". There's no indication that prayer will be answered in teh way we expect it to.

The only point I can agree with in that entire video is the last sentence concerning the pastor saying "tithe 10% and God will answer your prayer". I agree totally, that this is fraud (or at best, an extreme misunderstanding of scripture).

All the best, PA

BeckysMom,

Maybe you could look at it this way. Maybe what you've decided to stop worshiping is other peoples ideologies of what "God" is and is suppose to mean to your personal life.

Hey BM how you doin girl? Ahh its a shame when things like that happen...with relationships...I saw it often with my parents and i hated it. The arguments, constant insults it just wasnt good. You are an intelligent woman and you can work things out with your man. A relationship is like a house, it needs to be built, decorated and furnished before you can live in it. You cant be comfortable if theres no furniture or if theres no roof. Construct this house of safety and security with your guy. God may care but he wont act on it. As much as you believe in God he believes in you too. Some people are saying prayer is false and its statistically proven and blah blah...Yet we both have had experiences havent we....We dont need statistics or guinnea pigs, nothing talks like experience talks. Believe as you will and as you do.

Personally i barely hold a grudge on God i havent really been angry at him and i try to remain as humble as i can, its simply my nature and not fear that leads me to this. I do ask God "why" sometimes for the things that happen, but i wont point my finger at him. Im not saying its wrong because lets face it...God filled us with a range of emotions, and anger is one of them. God cant get offended at your anger because he instilled it into you, and i and everyone. I personally would rather just try and remain positive even in the worse situations...Stay strong and keep constructing that house of yours....It wont be done overnight, but it will happen.

Blaming God is entirely up to you, but God is willing to forgive you for your mistakes- are you willing to forgive God for whatever it is that he puts upon you?

Dear Geri,

You were praying that things would be alright between you and your spouse right? Praying can only get you so far sometimes, you actually have to be active and DO something, like talk things over with your spouse or something. You can't expect God to do EVERYTHING do you?In a way, once you've found the strength inside yourself and resolved your problems, you could say that God helped you along the way.

God doesn't have to live up in the sky, He doesn't have to drop a miracle on your lap. God exists inside the heart, He is love.

Sounds sappy but its true. I haven't found Him in my heart yet. I want to though.

I was raised catholic but even though I am not religious now I never once got angry at God...just disapointed.

Hi BM.. Hi BM...good to see you back. I don't know if its just me but I think you have been gone a little while. Any way its good to read you.

This is a good post.

I think you have shown courage in sharing this with us. Your going through a common spell all people who pray go through. It’s normal. Your spiritual strength increases the most during the time you feel the least religious or the times you feel your prayers are not being heard. GOD does this on purpose. It’s like teaching your children to walk. It’s easy for them when you are holding them but at some point you have to take away your hand. What your going through is just like this. The person who can pray and do what’s right even when they feel like their prayer is doing no good is passing through a key spiritual point.

It sounds to me like you made it through. Good job. Keep it up.

Nice to hear from you.

I have gotten Angry at God at least once in all my lives, This is a tool for learning, A powerful excersize in love , after truly feeling bad and repenting this hurtfull, state, it can be a most freeing, and loving experience.
How would we know Good unless we had seen bad?
Love Omnaka

I too have lost all faith -

I still strongly believe in a Creator or creating force, but it is not all knowing and watchful.

If one was all mighty and cared for its creations- Would we not be protected from those that seek to harm and oppress us?

Yes, we must solve our own problems - And we may have unseen help in these factors, but even at our lowest of moments where we break down to nothingness, we are truelly seperate from this source- All we have are our Loved ones.

And i too have lost all mine.

If we are truelly being protected, The One will save us from the Oppression the human race is soon / already having enforced upon it.

Whatever shape help may come in, it will be greatly appreciated by the free.

All i can say is that one does not need to have faith to survive.

I live my life everyday seeking change to the way we all live, i do not thank a higher being for my existance, as i believe i am cursed to live this life of slavery and forced thinking, and these are the good days...

Have faith in a saviour.

Iam truly sorry you feel this way,
God our Father and Mother of our eternal spirits Do Love us More than you know , It is only a slight separation because after this life your eternal spirit continues, The flood at Moses time was just a ncalling Home for a safety Meeting, If God loved us , and God does, They (Heavenly Father and Mother) , would send us down as many times as is needed, to experience this thing Called experience, Or Life, and They do, what we as individuals in our own self accountability, make of this life is on us, Not God.

Love Omnaka

And does what? Since you know, tell me where my eternal spirit continues to and what does it do when it gets there? A safety meeting? Am I missing something here?
I've needed help plenty of times, perhaps I was just overlooked, or not worthy of God's/Fathers/Spirits help?