NY woman swallowed by sidewalk=

Yay for Silly String!=

Mom, Kids, Allegedly Faked Retardation=

Man accused of driving under the influence=

angry driver killsan egg throwing teen=

Factory manager in China arrested=

Police arrest boy for opening Xmas gift early=

California woman finds bat in Xmas tree=

Principal to be disciplined for haircut=

Relatives embezzle $133000 in Social Security==



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Use one or all or one frome each new frontpage in the bizzare news section
just lets make it uniqly funny and original wacky and unforgettable

try your best,... have fun . that is the only rule here besisdes the standing.

Abecrombie

CNN Exclusive: Man accused of driving under the influence of the spaghetti monster

California woman finds bat in Xmas tree=

says daughter in law after divorcing husband accusing him as a mamas boy
mother in law just couldnt resist the easedropping.


NY woman swallowed by sidewalk=due to not reading the sign correctly . The woman read it as wet cememnt but was actuly written pet cememnt.

Fox Special Report: Police arrest boy for opening Xmas gift early, breaking the open on Christmas day only clause family signed with Santa.

Mom, Kids, Allegedly Faked Retardation, win every event in the special games.


Factory manager in China arrested. Accused of mixing green bins with black bins.

Angry driver kills an egg throwing teen. Mounts it on wall after claiming it was a new species.

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk. Inquirey into why current owners didn't feed it before hand.

those were awesome


Police arrest boy for opening Xmas gift early, just to get airtim on the show cops

December 7, 2006
Atlanta, Georgia

After his arrest and conviction in China, Lee Wung Tso was sentenced to exile. Under a new program of cooperation between the US and China, it was arranged that a priniciple in Atlanta, Georgia , Bubba Jones, who had been convicted of driving under the influence and hacking off the hair of Emo students in his school would be his sponser and his probation would be tied to the assimulation and conformity of the Lee family into the US mainstream.

All seemed to be going well with the arrival of the Lees into the Jones's home, other than the single incident when Mrs. Lee, unknown to the others, attempted to help in hanging goodies and treats on the Christmas tree by adding a bat, prompting a 911 call from fear of rabies by Mrs. Jones.

Regretfully, the one year follow up on the Lee family does not show any signs of an end to the Mr. Jones probation. It was determined that despite the evidence produced by Mr. Jones attorney that there are several cases where those who could not speak English well were determined to be mentally retarded, having the Lee family all sign up for disability benefits does not fall under the defintion of joing into mainstream America.

Mr. Lee filed papers to prove that he is mainstream now, as shiang ba lau is a common US subculture.

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk... neighbors report noxious gas emitting from sewer grates.

Okay... trying to go for the sidewalk burping, but that doens't quite come across.... :/

Boy Recovering From Severed Head.The seven year old nearly choked due to eating it too fast. Mother of young nearly lost her haead soon sfter the accident happened.Young child said it was before dinnertime and when playing outside , he notices something in the street he thought looked pretty appatizing.As he placed the severed head in his mouth , his mother came outside to call him in for dinner and the boy when trying to comsume the head without mom finding out, choked on the head . boy is fine now and tells doctors two heads are better than one

Intoxicated infant released from hospital, after shoulder tapping , the store owner was later arrested for selling and contributing to a minor, but claims, " I count help it he was so cute , how can you say no to thhat face?

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk=claims the crack was too addictive out on the street

BBC: Teacher say you can divide by 0, student then creates a time space distortion at home.

weird sea animals

Pyro-Granny throws gas on perpetrater=thought it would light his fire

Boy Recovering From Severed Head.- after he bit the head off the boy whos severed head bit back.

Shopping continues while fire burns close by at local gas station where granny decided to pour gasoline all over a strange passer by due to wanting to light his fire

Teacher say you can divide by 0 if you have 0 to begin with

Jealous hubby branded bride's bum , a new pop culture amonst the livestock . Cows preferred to be branded by the owner, groomed mooed to friends.

Intoxicated infant released from hospital after preforming surgery on the hit show er

Cocaine found in toy dept. at Walmart, or should we say Wall-{sniffle}Mart.

Girl sleepwalks out of loft lands in the dirty pantry where she later decided as a grown up she would raise children out of a shoe.

Camel gatecrashes Xmas party, and spits on the rude snobby humans who looked at his hump and refusing to allow him the privlage of taking part in manjor play.

MSNBC Money: Yay for Silly String! Serious String decline in the stock market.

Beer for the blind, read the billboard sign in hopes to increase sales
'Blind' man took over from drunk driver carkeys , drove him home and took off with car.

Pelican falls in love with woman dressed up like a penquin selling icecream at the beach.

Shopping continues while fire burnscustomers came for the red hot sale prices. Get it before its gone.

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk= Carnivorous sidewalks on the rise, Feds take action.

Yay for Silly String!= the new sex toy

Mom, Kids, Allegedly Faked Retardation= To park in handi-capped parking zone

Man accused of driving under the influence=of a woman

angry driver killsan egg throwing teen= with live chicken

Factory manager in China arrested= was making too high quality a product, ruins sterotype.

Police arrest boy for opening Xmas gift early= to be hung christmas eve

California woman finds bat in Xmas tree= turns out to be batman

Principal to be disciplined for haircut= mullets banned

Relatives embezzle $133000 in Social Security== blow it all on wednesday night bingo

pit bull pup chews off infant's toes= thinking they were little piggies.




thats hillarious
Abecrombie

Seven heads in a duffle bag Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree! Kids write Christmas wish list!

Indiana teen clocked at 142 MPH running away from Micheal Jackson

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk= finds portal to Atlantis!

Factory manager in China arrested= selling "ancient Chinese secrets" to rival company. (For those of us old enough to remember a certain Calgon commercial)

Police arrest boy for opening Xmas gift early= sentences boy to work at North Pole for 1 year.

California woman finds bat in Xmas tree= authorities state, "It originally escaped from her belfrey."

Principal to be disciplined for haircut=school is all a-buzz! School day cut short.

Relatives embezzle $133000 in Social Security= claims that Aunt Mary is alive & well climbing Mt. Everest!

pit bull pup chews off infant's toes after Michael Jackson dangeld infant in front of the dog.

Baby Put Through Airport X-Ray Machine, law was passed by california govener arnold schartzineccar

Man's Best Friend for Dinner , reporter said, " I didnt think it was capable of eating a rat.?

Brit survives 15,000ft fall last we heard of him was ,...AAAAHHHHHOOWWWW ! "

NY woman swallowed by sidewalk- Today Mr by sidewalk denied the claim, stating he was happily married to his wife.

Angry driver kills an egg throwing teen- Male driver claimed “Well, as soon as I saw the egg attack the teenager, I knew I had to react”’