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Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums > Other > Writer's and Artist's Hangout
STIX
Hey everyone, long time no post! hope you enjoy this new poem I wrote, it may or may not be 100% finished yet, this is a first draft. original.gif



I can't explain
the reasons why
these things have happened to you.

I can't refrain
these tears from my eye,
when I think of these things which have been done to you.


Oh in these days...
in these days hereafter,
we regret our choices of before.


If only these days,
Oh if only these days hereafter
were the days of the days from before.
We might refrain from the things...
Oh these things we have done...
We might change these things we have done to you.
Heat
Nice work. I think in places it needs to flow better, but overall a good poem.original.gif
STIX
QUOTE(Heat @ Dec 19 2006, 04:36 PM) [snapback]1468116[/snapback]
Nice work. I think in places it needs to flow better, but overall a good poem.original.gif

Thanks alot! yeah I see what you mean, I am going to make some changes.
STIX
I can't explain
the reasons why...
these hapless results fall upon you.

I can't restrain
these tears from my eye,
when I think of the pain which we set upon you.

And in these days...
in these tragic days hereafter,
we regret our choices from days before.

And if only these days...
oh these precious days hereafter,
were the days of days from once before.

We might refrain from the things...
Oh these things we have done...
We might change these things we have forced upon you.
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