I just thought it would be fun to hear what everyones favorite Family Guy quote is.
Here are my favorites

1. "They allow Sarah Jessica Parker on T.V. and she looks like a foot!"

2 "I married this eleven year old girl for all the wrong reasons...."

3 "His chin kinda looks like balls, should we censor that too?"

4 "Just cause he's handicapped doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe! Kick!"

5 "I pity the fool! but I also suggest ways he might improve himself"

Your turn

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?

Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.

Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!

Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?

Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

hehe.

i love family guy, it's my favorite show, but i don't have any favorite quotes

Pool guy: "I'm sorry sir but you cant park your van on the diving board."

Stewie: "Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you might as well pack it in. Game over."

Chris: "What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?"
Alyssa: "We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people."
Chris: "I don't know why, but I feel safer already."

Lois: "Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years.... Everything seems so different".
Stewie: "Oh, really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells".

Peter (In Asiatown): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan! (Asian guy walks away)
Peter (to next Asian guy): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan! (Asian guy again walks away)
Peter (to another Asian guy): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan!
Jackie Chan: Great to see I have a fan! Oh my God it's Ethan Hawk!
Peter: No I'm not.
Jackie Chan to Chris: Oh my God it's Ethan Hawk!
Chris: Nope.
Jackie Chan to Meg: Oh my God it's Malcom in Middle!
Meg: Im not a boy!
Jackie Chan: Yes you are.


___


Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.


Chris is my favourite character, he's just there for the quick jokes which is awesome.

I like the way Clevland talks, it just gets me rolling

"There's bass fish erverywhere!"
"....just the usual erverything"

its definately my favorite show,

Ding fries are done,
Ding fries are done,
I gotta run,
I gotta run,
Don't stick your hand in the fry vat,
It really hurts bad,
So do skin graphs,
Ding fries are done...

Stewie: Why you sick sick little moo cow!

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Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells.

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Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."

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Stewie: It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?'

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Peter: Sometimes it's appropriate to swear
(Peter is in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do........You bastard

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Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.

------------------

God: Here, let me light that for you, babe.
(Zap with Thunderbolt to the cigarette)
Girl: Hey, thanks!
God: Yep, magic fingers (chuckles).
(Zap with Thunderbolt to the girl incinerating her.)
God: Jesus Christ!
Jesus: What?
God: Get the Escalade! We're outta here!

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Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?

Lol i love family guy full stop

Anything that stewie says is great

"Alright!!! Giggity Giggity Goo!!"

==

Clevland: Peter do you see what's chasin us!!!!
Peter: Oh my God!!! It's a van full of ghosts!!!

==

Jaws: Hey. I'm gonna eat 'cha. I'm gonna eat that hairy leg. I'm gonna eat that other one, too. I can see right up in them shorts. Got lots of rows of teeth to chew you with. Dun-na, Dun-na, Dun-na. Oh, I did eat a fat kid on a raft earlier. That's OK though, I have been swimming a lot. (etas swimmers)...Yummy.

i love the show, my friend and i spend all day qotin it
"go away fat man"
"damn the broccolli damn you and damn the write brothers"
i could write so much more but i forget. alot. what was i talkin about? it toast? like toast, epseciall with just butter. i don't know why they say butter si bad for you, it doesn't make you fat. peter is fat from family guy, have you ever seen that show? its really good you should watch it sometime.