For A year now I have been influence by my step-daughter who follows the emo type lifestyle. From the black out fits to the heavy make-up to the emo rock bands. I've looked over and studied this new wave of its cool to be depressed and hate others and am wondering if you think it to be more of just a lifestyle of teenage outcasts or a new wave in the belief systems of the modern day. All posts with questions or answers appreciated.

i remember when i was in high school and emo was just getting off the ground, but i guess back in that day we used to kind of look at it as a joke. i really wouldnt consider it to be a belief. i liken it to hip hop and the hip hop movement. its more like a way to look at something from your own "individual" perspective. just a way for people to relate to something.

Is this the new word for "teenage goth"?

"being themselves" while talking the same, dressing the same, thinking along the same lines of thought... perfect expression of their independant angsty individuality and uniqueness

Now, I don't know too much about the "Emo' scene. But I think it's more of a style and fashion statement. People say " That shirt is sooo Emo" Or "Man, you look Emo in that picture"
Emo is short for emotional....Emo music contains deep emotional lyrics that most anyone can relate to.
I also don't think Emo should be related to "Teenage Goth" I think its a totally different thing all together. In the teenage society there are tons of alternative groups....such as Punks and the 'Scene Kids' Ya know.

Anyhow I think Emo is more of a fashion than a lifestyle.

one thing that bothers me though, is that they've all think they've got it so bad..

I'm a medic during the day, riding around in an ambulance, and I deal with a lot of suicide victims... and all the emo's that cut themselves, take pills and stuff like that... I always tell them: "why didn't you finish the job? Why didn't you slice your wrist the proper way? why did you take pills? it takes hours to die from pills you know... jump of a building if you really wanna do something about this "dark world" as you call it"...

and I find, that when they hear the reality, and not some therapists carefully chosen words, they stop acting emo, and start being normal...

it may seem like I just pour gas on the fire, but all the people I've said that to, never did anything about it, because deep down inside, there's a reason why they didn't cut it the proper way... why they didn't eat enough pills or simply dived off the roof...

If you really do that, you should be fired.

The difference between emos and goths: emos want to kill themselves, goths want to kill everyone else. jk

Emo is not a belief, it is either

1. a genre of music (not a very good one)

2. Kids who can't deal with lif

Basically, emos are whiney teenagers who have cannot control their emotions and had one thing bad happen to them and then start acting depressed and show it by dressing black, wearing some makeup, cutting there wrists, having black sweepovers, purposely acting sad in attempt to be cool, and threataning to kill themselves but never having the guts to. It is not a real belief, and if it is, it is not a good one.

That's how I see it. Only with extra narcissism.

trust me, that's how it works on the street.. when you've spend time on the street, seeing what i've seen, knowing what I know, you would do the same thing...

No. It is not a belief, and even as a fashion its not one I can see lasting very long. I can understand your point about is it "a new way of young people thinking", but young people have always been miserable. There is nothing new about this, except that as revolutionary anti-authoritarian movements, its rather contrived.

They all look up to these 40 year old rockers wearing black make-up, releasing records about how terrible their lives are before retiring back to the pool. Its one of the most superficial music movements of recent years, and is unashamadly driven by the American music industry for big big bucks, praying on the insecurities of (mainly) teenagers who feel they "don't fit in", and who's idea of individuallity is simply more of the same.

No, I'm sorry. It takes a special kind of human being to be that inconsiderate.

Anyway, my whole take on the emo thing is that as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, you can whine or whatever as much as your heart desires.

I'm not being inconsiderate, I'm just saying that being on the streets, seeing what I've seen, changes you... and fact is that these people I pick up that tried to comit suicide, won't listen to some guy with a degree, talking down to them... they wanna hear the truth, the reality of the situation from someone "down to earth" and real...

They are so annoying though!

What I hate about emos is that they have no real problems. They take things out of hand.

I don't think it's inconsiderate at all to ask someone why they didn't finish the job. If anything, I could see it helping. The first possibility is that these people look deep inside themselves to answer that question, and realize what they have to live for, and hey, maybe act a little less like adolescent girls. Second possibility...they're lame enough that they realize, hey, why didn't I finish the job? And they do.

I've been there. I've seen the effects, and the after effects.

The moment I heard of anyone on my squad saying anything like that, you would be out. Unless you can give me some sort of credentials that allows you to play around in someones head like that, you are off my team, and the reason why is going on your record.

But then, I always made it very clear to my team exactly what our job was and what the limits of our authority were. There are people who got payed a lot better than we did to do the things that we did not.

As far as emo's go, I can't help but see it as just the latest adolescent attempt at individuality without facing the danger of actually being an individual.

Where have you been a medic? or is currently a medic?

Never a medic. Iwas an EMT, about ten years ago, for a brief stint. I was a Military Master-At-arms assigned to keep an eye on the new medical teams that were being formed..

Thanks for all of your replys. You all have some very interesting points.

yes, exactly as you put it, your daughter. Sadly however there are complete hurtbags that are adults and males for that matter that continue this sad, negatively oriented trend. It really is counter productive towards building a positive future. I am disgusted in it's "rock" style classification for it truely is a disgrace for all that is good music. I think nothing of it and the people who follow this sad, sad trend. It musnt last.

Everyone needs to keep in mind that emo and goth are two VERY different things...don't get them confused

edit: and yes, "emo" music is garbage...it all sucks

Very well put. this is the point I believe in that it is not possitive thinking. And I am well aware of these other people because they influence her in choosing this path down to even a brainwashing point. And I ment rock not as rock music but "this rocks" as in this is cool. But I agree because music is a heavy influence especially on teenagers and this genere of music really puts a bad influence when it comes to this modo that it's cool to be depressed. I agree it has to end because if this is the way our future generation is going to turn out, where is the future?

Will the emo boards never quit?

Here's the deal: emo is a spinoff of the gothic sub-culture of the middle to late 90's. Kids will always listen to music that their parents hate, kids will always have hormonal imbalances that make them believe the world is out to get them/doesn't want them/doesn't understand them. This is not a new idea, I wish everyone would stop thinking that it is. This is just the latest incarnation of classic teenage rebellion. You can't stop it, no matter how stupid you think it is. The problem is not the music either, that is akin to staying that Marilyn Manson was responsible for the rash of school shootings in the not-too-distant past. There have always been the extreme cases, i.e. kids killing/cutting themselves, violence in schools, smoking in the boys' bathroom between classes, racing muscle cars.

Ok, had to get that off my chest.

I understand your point. But with my point I'm putting out is that music and other things are influencing these people. People look for reasons to explain or except what they feel. That is why music is considered very insperational. Because it inspires you, much like anything else that you look to for insparation. If a band, through song gives justifiable declaration to a certain act people will look at that band as something that helps put out their feellings. Kinda like how sad people listen to sad songs or violent people listen to violent heavy songs. It gives the sense of a "theme" song to the person because they relate to the song. Next thing you know they're humming the tune while doing what ever the song inspires. If they're video game junkies their huming Super Mario. If they're Christian missionaries their humming Amazing Grace and so on.

I've been a medic since 1986 and have never stepped to that level. If you start feeling like that towards your patients it might be time to move on; at the point they are trying to kill themselves you can have the greatest impact either positive or negative. Regardless of what you may feel personally, or joke about after the call with your partner, the patients well being comes first and if you are at a point that you can't do that then it is time to move along.

I have been in that situation HUNDREDS of times over the year; it is NEVER correct to tell/ask why they didn't finish the job.

There are many ways to treat a suicidal patient to make them better; and asking them why they didn't finish the job would NEVER be one of them. With a bit of training and study of human psychology you can actually HELP the suicidal patient, not escalate the matter.

If my partner were to pull something like that I would not let him back in the rig. He/she would find themselves out of a job rather quickly.

As a medic your job is to take care of the welfare of the patient; to be an advocate for the patient if they cannot do it themselves. Regardless of how tired you may be, or how pissed you are that this young person tried to take their own life or is simply looking for help, the professional part of you needs to do what is medically and ethically right.

I agree with you here and on your last reply. I am not in any profession such as yourself and never have been. But as a patient and a non-professional councelor I see it as having a moral standing of going the extra mile to help someone. What annoys me most is these professionals that say they care but when their shifts done they accually have the gull to say, "sorry bro. I'm off shift find someone else." or "I'm not getting paid for helping you screw off." to a person who really needs help. Very rare are the types that will see someone on the street bleeding to death and give that extra effort to help that person. Or with mental person, talk with them help them even if they are not paying you in your clinic. I have deep respect for you as a medical proffessional since you seem like the type that goes that extra mile and gives that extra effort on the clock or not. Thanks for your replys.

These "emo" kids are just the latest incarnation of rebelious youth. Personally I think the beatniks from the 50's were far more interesting and slightly less narcassitic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatnik

Why is it those that claim to reject conformity all wind up looking the same?

It could be worse...they could be hippies.

Emo kids want to be individuals but in doing so end up stereotyping themselves...oh the bitter irony.

What he said with a cherry on top.

They need a good hard smack across the face. That always worked for me when I was a teenager.

Hasn't teenage rebellion always been about conforming to non-conformity?

That is true, but I think what he is asking is something like this, "How idividual are you making yourself with a blue mohawk if you are just copying someone you saw with a blue mohawk?" Idividuality is not being a copy cat.

My little sister recently joined the "emo" group (she's 15) and it really makes me laugh. She's always going on about how her emo friends are the only ones who "get her" and all that, like I have no idea what its like to be in high school cause I graduated 3 years ago! Basically, from my understanding, emo is just the new "thing" to be if you don't want to be a jock or a popular blonde cheerleader type. They think they're very unique and "underground" listening to their whiney music and wearing their "unique" clothes from hot topic that cost more than regular clothes lol! I figure its just a phase that kids are going through in jr. high and high school, and hopefully it'll end soon! I can't stand that music!!

I'll be the first to admit that I don't "get it." I'm not even sure what "it" is.

I figure it's just a fad and will be over when some figure in the Emo scene says "Emo is dead."

We can only hope. Not that I hate or dislike anyone Emo, its just I dont see the benifit of acting hateful and depressed all the time. Never helped any one before to act this way Emo or not.

I think its a phase teenagers are going through where they don't fit into any other category and invented their own.
The only thing wrong is that they invented a really dark and bad category to try to stand out.

That is why I believe Emo has a form of turning to a cult like belief system for teens and young adults. "My Emo freinds only get me." Is what I hear from my daughter all the time. I think its sad because Emo lifestyle has a brainwashing type effect on these kids. Whats scary is Emo is put out with this message. Its not really they dont want to be a jock or a prep or a hick or what ever other steriotype you can think of. Its the fact that in the Emo group its put out to hate these types of people family friend or anyother personal relationship these Emo kids have with someone else outside of the Emo groups mentality.

An example would be this. Your sitting with a Emo kid in school and a nice person from your class comes by that would be steriotyped as a prep. This person says hi tries to make conversasion and goes to their seat. Now from my experience the Emo kid will scowl and if it wasnt already in their face brush their hair infront of their eyes and glare through their bangs. Then they'll say something like, "I hate that kid and others like him." And of course you would ask, "Why? that person seems nice." And the Emo would reply, "No their not their just pretending. They dont really like me or you. And I cant stand that persons type anyway." And one again you would ask why and what type this person was. and the Emo's reply would be, "Cause that persons a prep I hate preps! Their all daddy rich and were Holister and Abercrombie. I hate people who were those brands!" And it would go on and on and on because for some strange reason the Emo can keep hating this actual nice person just because they are wearing a Holister shirt or ect. Emos even get down to hating other Emos. An Example comment would be. "I hate that person over there." "Why?" "Because their so wanna be Emo. Their not Emo. I hate them. I wanna go over there and tear of those clothes and wash off their make up. They are so a wanna be emo and are trying to look like Gerard Way." "Dont you try to look like him to? Isnt that why you got his picture on your mirror so you can copy his make up and hair style?" "F-You! You dont understand! I hate you your stupid!"

These comments I did not just pull out of my backside. These are real discussions with Emos I have had. With me asking the whys. This is why I think it is more than just some fad about style and music. Talk with your sister and her freinds sometime and bring up some of the same stuff I have on this reply and see how quick they and her get deffesive and bash you for not "understading" Emo or hating Emo. Then they'll bash you for what ever steriotype they can place on you and what ever good fortune that has happend to you over your lives together down to hating you for getting shotgun when riding with one of your parents(Which would of course explain why your parents love you more than her and hate her.) to you having a car or being in a relationship. Especially if they have none of the above or theirs arent as "good" as yours. Its all about hate and self inflicted depression this Emo fad. Its really sad.

That's not unique to emo, all kids go through a phase where they won't be friends with other kids, normally they grow out of the "I don't want to sit with you cuz you smell" stage by the end of Junior school (10-ish). I agree with those who feel emo is just another teen fad with a different name. There'll be another along in a few years.

They are a bunch of dumb teenagers that think its cool to be depressed. Why dont they just eat chocolate?

I hate to admit it but Im kind of emo but Im not ashamed of it Im just depressed all the time oh and I like emo hairstyles and emo guys too

I don't understand why people would want to try to be Emo...if your going to stereotype yourself pick a stereotype with benefits.

Jock- automatically popular
Nerd- assumed smart
Bully- your feared
Emo-everyone hates you and you hate yourself.

I can understand if you honestly truelly like EMo music and like the clothing style because you like and your not just doing it because others are.

If your friends won't hang out with you because your not Emo then their not your friends.

Everybody just needs to go watch the Breakfast Club again.

All these stupid stereotypes end by the time you get out of school.

I consider myself to be the non-conformists non-conformist.

I'm normal because that's what people expect from me.

You have a good point here. But I would like to put an example that is diffrent from what your saying to the emo's idea of school steriotype dislike. I in school was considered preppy and part of the preppy/jock group. We of all other groups basicly got allong and were friends with other groups in the school and vice versa. Probably the two we battled with most were the hicks and the mexican gangster wannabes. But still after our little battles with them we all turned out to be friends. I gained two best friends from these groups we battled with. Compared to that and the Emo's version of hate is that it is mandatory to be Emo to hate everything and everyone including yourself and anything pertaining to you that is not emo. Theres a big diffrence between having a accuall reason to disliking someone and just hating them for no reason at all exept to fuffill the expectations of the Emo fundamentals present in the group.

Great point here. This is why I believe Emo is more than just a steriotype because after school and college they still have this fundamental attitude of hating everyone and everything. Funny thing though is that most if not all tend to express their view from thier parents basement (refering to adult emos. teens would still be living at home anyway unless their a runnaway.) or on the internet on chat rooms with these young and easly influenced pre-teen and teen Emos. Or their standing around the mall in a dark corner or in Hot Topic giving passerbyes dirty looks through their bangs that are ever present in their eyes. I think the original creators of this Emo hairstyle was by the original Misfit punk group back in the seventies. Not so original now is it?

You don't get it man *sniff* do you even know how chocolate is made? they rip the beans from the plant in their prime, it's like a cocoa abortion *sniff sniff* CHOCOLATE IS MURDER...EATING IS MURDER! Stop the killing of innocent plants and animals, just shrivel up and die. That is our destiny. I wish I could just shrivel up and die right now. Tommy, the guy that sits behind me in English class, called me a freak just because I was crying. He just doesn't get me. My parents wouldn't let me get my nose pierced like all my other friends. They just don't get it. No one gets it. I would end it all right now, but tears and mascara have glued my eyes shut and I can't find my razor blades.

yeah i remember the emo kids and the punk kids and the goth kids and the skater kids and the preps and the jocks and the gangstas.... kinda reminds me of The Outsiders... but anway i was friends with all the groups... i fell into the skater group and there were little "wars" or whatever you want to call it but the way i see it i was friends with them all in elementry school before we knew about all this crud that means i could be friends with all them even though we were spilt into groups... better to intermingle than to hate the others thats the way i see it anyway... my brother is kinda emo not to the extreme like some others but a lil weird, i dont look at him any different hes my brother i gotta love em!

You put that out so well I thought you were Emo yourself.

Good points. I just learned something new today from my daughter. If you dont want to claim Emo but still want to be one your a "Scene". Maybe your brother's a scene kid. You should ask him.

It's just a teenage thing, in my opinion.
I'm a teenager and I see these "emo kids" everywhere in my school. It mostly appears to be about the fashion and the music. I never hear of an emo being older than 18, to be honest.
It's just another way to try and fit into a group - to belong somewhere.

Yes i agree its just something passive. The teenage years can be very complex, teenagers try to be original, cool and outstanding. So they all try to relate to a group. In my opinion music plays a big part in the choice of group, but its also a question of fashion, current trends and the ppl they relate too. There are alot of other groups like the 'Rappers' group, the "metal-heads group", the "Junkies" group etc. All of those has different styles and way of acting. Emos arent different or worse.

I wouldn't worry that much for ur daughter being emo, if she is comfortable being like that, it will not harm her. I beleive a group you relate to it also depends upon ur character. Maybe she feels good only being with her emo friends. Its normal. everyone has its close group of friends, what so ever is the group is called. Probably her frineds decided to act emo, and she followed the stream, its normal for teenagers to copy their friends. And even if she is acting like hating everyone and being deprassed, im sure she doesnt do that all the time. Generally they do that only when they are with ppl they dont know, to look tough, and to be targeted as an 'emo' cause they wish to have that image. Im sure she laughs, she jokes with her friends and she even listens to love songs when she's alone Dont think shes gonna become an aggressive person or a suicidal kid. I beleive kids who try to commit suicide or cut themselves, arent because they are emos or goths, but because they have more serious personal issues like needing attention.

Don't worry, once she matures she will get out of that image..its a just something she needs to belong too