Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up and no place to go.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No Moore
Full Version: Headstones
Are these genuine?! They're brilliant!!! I love the 'All dressed up and no place to go'! That's hilarious.
Very Entertaining and Funny Phantom!
I like:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
I like:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
Those are sooo funny! 
Good one Phantom!
Good one Phantom!
They ruled,i was crying with laughter.Whered ya get them from?
LMAO, here's a few of my faves
Sacred to the memory of my husband
John Barnes who died
January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.
I told you
I was sick!
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
Underneath this pile of stones,
Lies all that's left of Sally Jones,
Her name was Briggs,
It was not Jones,
But Jones was used to
Rhyme with stones.
Fear God, keep His Commandments,
And don't attempt to climb a tree,
For that's what caused the death of me.
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvelous thing for this vicinity.
Sacred to the memory of my husband
John Barnes who died
January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.
I told you
I was sick!
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
Underneath this pile of stones,
Lies all that's left of Sally Jones,
Her name was Briggs,
It was not Jones,
But Jones was used to
Rhyme with stones.
Fear God, keep His Commandments,
And don't attempt to climb a tree,
For that's what caused the death of me.
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvelous thing for this vicinity.
Go away!im sleeping!
I want that,hehehe
I want that,hehehe
Very good, had a real belly laugh. Perhaps it wasn’t the best time to take a mouthful of cold milk, as my computer sadly found out! 
This reminds me of one of my fav comedians, Billy Connelly. He said when he dies he want a huge stone with one single little line, that’s so small, you have to put your foot on the grave and lean closer to see what it says. You then read:
Watch it, your standing on my nuts!”
This reminds me of one of my fav comedians, Billy Connelly. He said when he dies he want a huge stone with one single little line, that’s so small, you have to put your foot on the grave and lean closer to see what it says. You then read:
Watch it, your standing on my nuts!”
Phantom? Priceless!! Thank You!
'Tis nice to know that Humans, no matter which side of the Pond they perish, they leave their sense of humor behind!!
Kryso? Ouch!! LMBO!!
'Tis nice to know that Humans, no matter which side of the Pond they perish, they leave their sense of humor behind!!
Kryso? Ouch!! LMBO!!
HAHAHAHA if that one bout being slow to the draw was real then.........well...HAHAHHA funny. good ones
That's funny! Do you have anymore? 
Your used to doing that kind of stuff aren't you?
But there an'half funny!
But there an'half funny!
here's my favs:
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up and no place to go.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No Moore
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up and no place to go.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No Moore
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