"Ello guvna!" the beer wench, Matilda, cackled from her stool at the counter.

"Good morning Matilda." Nigel Longshanks tipped his hat to her.

Slivers of light from the filth covered windows displayed the dust that swirled after him as he slowly made his way to the back.

"What are you doin' 'ere?" shouted a boisterous voice, seemingly from nowhere.




I would like to keep this going....please add to this story but please limit your response to 4 lines or sentences.

"I...I...I'm jest gettin me last bit o pay sir" stammered Nigel.
A rotund man of 49 walked from the kitchen of the pub...
"I thought I teld you neva show your thieven face round ear again!" shouted Hue.
Matilda jumped up to block Hue's view of Nigel.

"SIT DOWN YOU BLODDY WENCH" Shouted Hue, as he shoved Matilda to the floor.
"I ope you know I"m onna wallop you good fo puttin yo dirty hands on Tilly." Nigel stated calmly
Nigel grabbed Tilly's hand and helped her up.
"Thanks Guvna" whispered Tilly, "Please sa....jest be goin now."

"Well, what 'ave we got 'ere." Hue drawled mockingly.
He grunted as he bent down to the spot Tilly had been shoved to moments before.
"Aye, you been thievin' too ah WENCH?" Hue snarled at Tilly, holding out a spoon that had fallen to the floor.
Tilly nervously fixed her skirts, her face filled with terror "I.... I ain't been fieven!....honest guvna!.....It might of fell!"

sorry! computer error

"I'll pay you rightly for the spoon dear sir....but please don't punish Tilly." begged Nigel.
"I want BOF of you outa hear...." Hue turned around and grabbed a small rock.
Hue hurled the rock and it bounced off nigel's shoe.
"YOU FROW LIKE A BLODDY GILL" screamed Tilly as she ran for the door.

But what Tilly faced outside the door was even more scary than what she'd just run away from.

A DUCK! A VERY LARGE DUCK with a big bomb taped around it's belly.

The duck went bananas and tilly ran.

BOOM. Everybody dies.

(you can ignore this post and continue with your story, i just couldn't resist LOL )

LOL...cute my dear.....but we don't want to end the story yet....we'd sure love for you to write more though.....but this one...we have to pass....but you can use your duck LMAO!!...

I'm in that weird mood today hehe.

I will write something serious tomorrow

Sorry for interupting ... Carry on !!!

"FROW LIKE A GILL! I...I'm going to show that Wench a lesson!" Hue screamed, clenching his fist.
As the door slammed behind Tilly, Nigel absent mindedly grabbed the rock from the dirty floor.
"I...I'll just be on my way out sir." Nigel slowly turned and ran out the door.
After walking down to the end of the alley, he stopped and unclenched his fist, realizing that the rock was still in it.

Tilly saw Nigel turn down the alley, and decided to follow him.
Nigel didn't know that TIlly was right behind him when she spoke.
"Guvna, what we gonna do iffen he co...." Tilly started
Nigel, not realizing what he was doing, turned around and punched Tilly in the eye.

Tilly started to cry saying "Guvna, what you do that for?" He said "I'm sorry Tilly. Girl, don't you know not to follow a man like dat? Yer liable to get punched. What ya want anyway? why wuz ya followin' me?"
"I wuz just gonna say what we gonna do iffen he come back? I scared."
"Girl, if he comes back and bother ya, just come look me up, and I'll take care o' him."



~ Isis2200

Tilly rubbed her eye, "I better get me a steak on this eye guvna."
Tilly turned around, hiked up her dress and ran back down the alley.
Nigel smiled as he watched her run away, thinking how much she ran like a walrus.
"EH!, what chew doin back ear?" a high picthed voice asked.

Nigel turned around and a squeel escaped his lips as he saw what was before him.
"Ain't I telled you we not to come round ear any moa!"
Nigel was frozen in fear as he stared at the monster.
"I...I...I'm sorry ma'am, sir, I don't rightly know what yor sayin'" Nigel stammered as he slowly began to back away.

His legs were trembling as his brain tried to compute what he was seeing.
"I ain't wantin to see you o any of your feiven friends back ear again!"
Nigel stared at the gaping mouth, and shivered as a large stream of drool feel to the ground.
The creature before him only had sparatic clumps of hair with so much grease he thought it would ignite.

The creature bent down, grease dripping down into one gleaming yellow eye.
It's other eye was crusted closed with appeared to be dried blood.
Nigel clenched his fists as the creature stepped near, it's foul breath pouring through sharpened, brown teeth.
Just then Nigel realized that he was still holding the strange, small rock in his clenched fist.

Nigel threw the rock as hard as he could at the creature, striking it in the blood encrusted eye.
The creature shreiked as as puss began to flow from where it's eye should have been.
Nigel leaned over and began to heave.
When he stood again, the creature was standing over him with the rock in it's hand.

The story just got good

"uh...I..What are you?!" Nigel finally managed to stammer in terror.
"I told you..... to get...... your FIEVIN ARSE OUTTA 'ERE!" The creature screamed, puss spewing from it's face.
The creature held an evil gaze on Nigel as it lifted the rock to the empty cavity that was once it's eye.
Nigel backed up slowly from the creature.

The creature then pushed the rock into it's socket to stop the flow of puss.
Nigel passed out at the sight.
When Nigel awoke, he was in a room he'd never seen before.
He could hear two voices shouting at each other from the other room.

"Wench!, I telled you not to bring anuva one home!"
"But we right need 'im. Him's eyes are right nice."
Nigel tried to stand. Panick struck when he realized that he couldn't feel his legs.
Nigel could hear them coming into the room.

Nigel flinched as he heard the doorknob turn.
There was a pause as the man said "I'm sick of this wench! This'll be the last one....or you'll be out on the street wif them other arse biscuits!"
The door slowly opened and Hue walked in, a thick bandage taped over his eye.

"Bertha! Get chore bloody cow ars in ear!" shouted Hue.
Bertha waddled in the room. "Oy can't seems to get vis ear pebble out me eye."
Hue sighed and reached into the bloody puss filled mess to retrieve the rock.
He placed the rock on the table next to Nigel. "Well Wench, did ya bring me eye in ear, so's dat we un put it in your big empty head?"

"Aye, it's right bad them eyes guvna." Bertha pointed to her dripping empty socket.
Hue bent towards Nigel, grabbing his face with his big meaty hands.
He peered into Nigel's eyes as if checking over a new sheep at auction.
"Yes...these'll do right nice..Too bad them eyes don't last very long though...or we wouldn't 'ave ta be gettin' new one's all this time."

Hue slowly peeled the tape off his eye. "Take a look an tell me iffn it looks right."
Nigel's stomach churned as Hue put his empty socket to up to his face.
A small worm fell out and landed in Nigel's mouth.
Bertha howled with laughter as nigel began to choke on his own vomit.

Hue laughed heavily as he turned Nigel on his side.
"There there....we can't 'ave you dyin on us or anyfing." he patted Nigel on the back.
Bertha knelt over and retrieved the worm from where it had oozed next to Nigel's head.
"Alrighty there" she said tenderly, grabbing a Tequila bottle on the nightstand "In you go love."

The worm began to squirm in the tequila bottle.
"Ow look Hue" squeeled Bertha, "this one's jes right bout done owready."
The Tequile bottle fell to the floor.
Nigel's eye grew wild with fear at what he saw emerge from the pool of liquor.

That lil' worm squiggled and squirmed. Then that lil' critter began to morph right before their eyes. It grew in size and sprouted wings, large black wings. All of a sudden Tilly springs back into the room with a steak on her eye. "Why I neva in all my life......what IS dat thing?! If I wuz scared before, now Iz really scared!" Nigel quickly grabbed his pistol and shot at the thing, but he missed as it flew into the air. Tilly said "Shoot it agin." Nigel shot the thing again, but this time it flew and landed on Tilly's other eye.

~ Isis2200

OMG LMAO


The Large bat like creature plucked out Tilly's eye, and stoke her steak.
"EH you ugly little fing. What chew fink you's doin?" screamed Nigel.
The creature dropped Tilly's eye into the empty socket in Bertha's head. "How does me look Guvna Hue?" she asked.
"Wench, it's in backwards. How you recken you gonna see anyfing that way?" Hue mocked her.

"Me sees what me needs ta sees", she proclaimed, her anger was evident through her one good eye.
At about this time, Hue was making his way towards the door, he was visibly getting frustrated.
"Where's you going?!" shouted Bertha, "we gots more bidness to take of...."
Hue didn't respond, and quickly left, slamming the door.

Nigel quickly stood up and grabbed Tilly's arm.
"AY, where you two fink you's going?" screeched Bertha.
Nigel carefully pointed his gun at Bertha, and shot out her good eye.
Nigel and Tilly ran out the door. On the way out Nigel grabbed the puss covered rock off the coffee table.

"Thems eyes of yours was sposta be mine Guvna!" Bertha screeched in agony as Nigel and Tilly entered the hallway.
"It's a good fing you had a mind ta keep that rock!" Tilly huffed as she waddled "It's brung us luck it has!"
Nigel kept moving quickly down the murky hallway, prodding Tilly along.
"Tilly, there's somefin ain't right about this hallway is there?"

Nigel stopped as something gently brushed his face. "Dang ol cobwebs." he said.
"I don't fink dem's cobwebs Guvna. Dem's look like worms." exclaimed Tilly.
Nigel shuddered at the thought of one of those worms on him.
"Humph!" sneered Tilly, "And you's the one wiff boff your eyes."

(LOL You guys are making me laugh right out of my chair.) "fink", "fing". LOL

~ Isis2200



p.s. I will add more tomorrow. heehee

.

LOL Thank you very much...and we laughed pretty hard at your stuff too my dear. And we're looking forward to seeing what you add next.

Nigel said "Well, we betta git outta here den. Hey wait just one diddly darn minute here. Ain't dem worms the same critters like the one weez saw change and fly onto your eye?"
"Well, Guvna, it shore look like it, don't it?" said Tilly, full of fear. "Guvna I'z don't know if you'z gonna run for Guvna next term, but if you'z git rid o' deez here worms, I promise I vote for ya agin, I promise.....yes indeed, I promise shore as I'z standin' here."

"Well I appreciate your candor, my dear Tilly..." Hue said, with a proper accent, he was obviously being silly.
"...but I dare say, your endorsement of my future political endeavors is of no consequence at this present, enigmatic moment."
Tilly, with a puzzled look, tentatively asked.. "So you's ain't runnin' den?"
Rolling his eyes, Hue sighed "Yes Tilly, I'm not running... now can we please get back to the crucial task at hand."

ISIS2200 LOL!! I love it artymoon!

Just then, Nigel and Tilly heard diabolical laughter down the hall.
"Shhhh....I fink a demon's in vis hallway guvna! " Tilly whispered harshly, then put her finger up to her lips.
They crept down the hall slowly and stopped when they saw Hue twirling around as if he were a little school girl.
"Yes! YES My lovelies!!" Hue screamed like a madman, his body covered completely with Tequila worms.

Thanks uhmanduh, you as well! Sorry I cut in, but I see it worked out.


Tilly, like a crazed 'hungry hippo', started devouring the worms..."slllhheeerrrreprperer......"
It was an awful site, needless to say... but Hue unexpectedly seem to enjoy the event that was unfolding.
He began laughing hysterically. "Hahahhhohhhahha, stop it, stop it, that tickles."
Tilly, noticing his amusement, began to laugh herself.... it wasn't pretty.

It lurched towards him,
the stench was overpowering
but the terror nIgel felt eclipsed it.
god help me, he prayed

The Hue demon spoke in mocking tones “You can’t stop us… I may be overweight, I may not have had a bath in weeks, I may even prefer my own sex, but I am a MASTER of an entire Army OF DARKNESS!”

Nigel shouted defiantly - “So whay you’re really saying is.. you're a FAT , STINKING, DIRTY.. GAYLORD!! sniff”

"Daat's right! Youz want some o' dis?", Hue said as he stuck up both hands clenched in fists. "I shore do, Nigel said. I'll take ya down in 3 seconds, I will." Nigel and Hue began punching each other, they fell to the floor and started wrestling around on the floor, as Tilly shouted "Dat's right, Guvna, hit 'em with ya right hook, now hit 'em with ya left hook." After the fight was over and Hue lie unconscious on the floor, Nigel gets up and says "Whew! After rollin' round with that Varmint, I shore smell mighty putrid, I'm gonna have to take a bath in tomater juice."

OMG you guys are so funny I almost peed my pants!

Tilly ran to the kitchen to look for some tomato juice for Nigel.
Nigel stood up and started looking for a bathroom.
He opened a door and saw Bertha combing out her last few strands of hair, while gently caressing a giant yellow duck.
"Hue?" she asked "Hue I know that's you, I reckon I'd know that stench anywhere I would."

At first, Nigel thought Bertha had mistaken him for Hue due to the stench that covered his body.
Then he realized that she was talking tenderly to the duck.

"OH Hue....I never seen, well felt, you look so strange...even when you was a demon!" Bertha recoiled in terror as she moved her hands over the ducks head.

Nigel screamed out "AAAAHHHHHH! FREEDOM!!" while he ran full boar in to Tilly, sending her flying through a large plate glass window.

Tilly climbed back in the window. Her hips thundered from side to side as she attempted a runway walk towards Nigel.
Nigel backed up against the wall with a look of terror and confusion in his eyes.
"Look into me eye Guvna" Tilly whispered.
"Me don't fink we's gonna make it out of ear. Please Guvna, kiss me!" she exclaimed as blood slowly oozed from her empty socket.

Tilly puckered her lips, as a piece of worm was dangling out the side of her mouth.
Nigel closed his eyes and kissed Tilly passionately, even sucking the remaining worm down.
Their lips slowly separated and Tilly seemed very satisfied, you could see the contentment in her eye socket.
"Damn, that wus good!" She said with excitement.

"my dearest Tilly," Nigel said "when we get out of ear, I'm onna give you one of me eyes."
"OH Guvna, that be the sweetiest think anybody's eva said to me." She whispered.
Nigel grabbed Tilly's hand and jumped out the window.
Tilly landed on the ground with a thud. Nigel turned around to see Hue and Bertha heading towards them.

Nigel reached down his hand to help Tilly up. "Why, thank you, Guvna", Tilly said with a twinkle in her eye. Tilly noticed that ever since they kissed, he was very quiet. "Cat got ya tongue, Guvna?" Nigel looked down shaking his head "Tilly girl, I want you to know what done happened back der in dat room tween me and you gots to stay that way.....tween me and you. Nigel keeled over and moaned as he suddenly got a sharp pain in his stomach. He thought about the worm he had ingested but said "Must be dat der possum pie you brought me fer dinner last night. You shore dat thang was dead?"

LOL wtf accent is that supposed to be?