Quickly, Dave fashioned a large canoe out of the sunflower tendrils and Mohammid the Butterfly, Mulder, Dave, Elvis and Bigfoot (with the body of Bea Arthur slung over his shoulder) climbed aboard.

They were only just in time as the Saucer sunk under the waves.

"There goes my No Claims bonus" bemoaned Mohammid, drying his wings.
...

...Dave took Mulder's phone and said,"I'd better call for a pizza.Who's hungery?"Then Mulder said...

"You dirty old arse! What the hell did I say about using my phone? Last time you changed my ring tone to the theme in 'The Twilight Zone," he growled, grabbing at the phone.

Just then, the butterfly gazed up at the thick cumulus clouds, and said sweetly, "Speaking of 'The Twilight Zone'......

..."i don't think domino's deliver this far out to sea, but i've seen stranger things happen!"

So phone they did, ordering a triple meat feast double cheese burger pollen Pizza (Mohammed insisted on the pollen) and sure enough within half an hour a Pizza delivery launch  sped upto them and they tucked into the pizza. After lunch...

they realised that they had drifted.Bigfoot whose eyesight was slight sharper pointed into the distance.
'There,' he said 'an island' so they started to row.
Bigfoot was staring intently at the beach as they got closer, he remarked'There are two people there waiting for us in white suits;one tall one short........................

...they heard them talking to eachother. One had a very strong german accent and the other had a italian accent. Suddenly Dave realized where they were. They were in the middle of the recordings of Twins 2!! The two people were Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito! Mulder saw it too and said: ".....

......."Darn it, I was up for the part of the long lost
brother,they said they'd let me know if I got the part".
"Well maybe theres a part for a big hairy ex Sports Illustrated model."
Said Dave as he began frantically rowing towards the shore.
"I'm classically trained don't you know "said the butterfly
"I was in the Mothman Prophosies"
"WE CAN'T" yelled Elvis
"people still think I'm dead"
Just then...........

Elvis was transported by a low flying space craft that had been trailing the boat.
'Hang on...' said Mulder squinting to look at the pilot and passenger...'It's Scully, but what's she doing with K in a MIB ship..............

As they got closer to the island they realised it wasn't actually Schwarzenegger and Danny but infact a terminator brandishing a DeVito-Grapplegun.

As our Heros made it aboard MiB Vessel and flew off, The terminator leveled the gun at them and shot. The little Devito shaped Grapnel shot up, high tensile steel rope trailing, hit the wing, swore about his mother then grasped hold of the fusilage. The Terminator was lifted off the ground and started to reel itself in - torwards the fleeing craft...

...Just then,a bigger space ship flew by and pointed a huge laser gun at the terminator,then fired and blew the terminator to bits,but setting fire to the MIB ship...

The giant butterfly started to flap his huge wings and the amount of wind generated put the flames out. :P
"That was close" said Dave
"UHHA UHHA" said Elvis
But underneath the MIB ship the terminator robot ( or whats left of him) began to climb towards the ship!........


Everyone Knows the baddie never dies at the first attempt :s2

It carefully pulled itself onto the ship, and hid behind some crates, rebuilding itself.
its' patience was rewarded, Dana Scully walked past its' hidding place. It grabbed her and rendered her unconcious, exchanged clothes with her then quicky put on a wig that just happened to be lying around the place. Thus disguised he through the unconcious FBI agent out of the craft and went back to join the unsuspecting remainder of the crew...

...The terminator got up and walked over toward Dave and the others.Then Dave said,"I'm sure glad that thing's dead!Whew!"then bigfoot looked over at the disguised terminator and said,"What the?Who the Hell is that?"the terminator then withdrew its gun and then Dave said...

[blue]'Shall we all have a game of charades?'
[/blue]

"Excellent" said Scully/terminator whilst fixing her/it's lipstick with a can of WD40, i'll start, It held up one hand and started rotating the other.
"it's a film" they all chimed
"Uhh, 'The Terminator'?" asked Mulder
"how did you?"
"Just a hunch"
"Maybe that was too easy" replied the cyborg, - i'va another.."
"Terminator 2" said Mulder in bored kind of way
"Drat!"
"OK then how about Scrabble?" Dave chipped in helpfully
...

        'That's no good',  sighs Mulder.  'Bigfoot eats the letters like they were candy.'
          'MMmmmm',  drools Bigfoot,  'tastes like bark!'

whilst popping the letter Q in his mouth
"Oi i could of got 27 points from that!" raged Mohammad
After a brief arguement out came the twister board...

       Whereupon Scully/terminator quickly intercedes with the fact that Bigfoot could use a few lessons in personal hygiene.
     'No offense,  Hairy,  but....

"...you smell like a dead fish with a skunk tied on to it."then bigfoot said...

[blue]"Do I hear your mobile phone again?"

Mulder answered (embarrassed by his Flintstones ringtone) and discovered that it was Skinner calling to tell them that Air Sea Rescue had arrived to intercept the ship.

The terminator/Scully seized her/it's chance (it is a terminator after all) and activated her/its self destruct sequence. The countdown started... 10... 9.... 8....
[/blue]

...7...6..."Over here!An escape pod!"Dave said and everyone rushed into the escape pod.Dave pushed the button to eject and the pod flew towards the water,where the rescue crew saw them landing...4...3...2...1...BOOM!Went the terminator and it blew itself and the ship to pieces...

[blue]"Damn it!" Mulder cried.

"What's up? We survived," replied Dave.

"I left my sunflower seeds in there."

As the air/sea rescue Chinook drew closer, the downdraft from it's twin rotors caused the boat to capsise, dunking all of the survivors into the water.

Just then...[/blue]

........a huge white whale emerged from the murky depths and slowly swam towards them....

..."AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!" they all cried in fear as they realised it wasn't a whale at all, but Jade from Big Brother...

(OK won't make any sense to anyone outside the UK  :D )

... "We're gonners!" Mohammed cried in dread.

Jade looked from each of the petrified fellows, and rubbed at her chin. "Well, we might just be able to work something out..." she said, staring up into the cosmic abyss. But the characters said nothing, for fear of losing their lives to the giant beast. "I'll spare you all, on one condition..." she continued, "You must stay tuned for the next Big Brother and you must all vote for me! But my "proposal" is at your advantage because I'll thrown in a few free photos of my dental patients, and a Floss Boss for each of you...."

"...and by the way, does anyone know where East Anglia is?..."

[blue]
"Hey," Mulder shouted, water lapping at his face, "you're just a dental nurse!"

"Well excuse me Mr FBI," Jade replied and swam off in a huff.

As the guy from the Chinook descended on his rope, Dave noticed that they were actually only thirty feet from the shore.

Mulder flipped the Chinook the bird and joined the others swimming for the shore. Bobbing around in the shallow water someone noticed something pale and grey.

"Is that Bea Arthur?" Bigfoot asked...

"NO!! It's...."
[/blue]

...an alien!"cried Mulder.Dave and the others swam toward it."Is it alive?"asked Mohammed."Looks dead..."said Dave.Just then,the alien looked up at them and said...

'Oi, get out of the way, I'm trying to get a tan'...................................................




:stBTW LB well done on getting to Master membership :s1

[blue]
Meanwhile in a deserted mansion near the Canadian border, a young boy rode his bike up the steep and winding path on a dare to touch the front door of the haunted Marshall House.
He dropped his bike, noticing that all the windows were boarded over, then stepped slowly onto the front porch. The only sounds he could hear were the chirruping of the crickets in the grass and the distant cry of a bird out towards the town. He stepped tentatively towards the door, the boards creaking under him, his hand stretched out.
He prepared to knock on the door.

Suddenly it yanked open. The boy screamed....

Meanwhile, back at the coast, Mulder said...
[/blue]


Thanks CW... I hadn't noticed. Lol.

......look the beach is just over there.
After a hearty meal of coconuts they all sat round the campfire swapping ghost stories, Mulders was a particuliary scary story about an old house which is inhabited by the evil spirt of a serial killer.
Its only a few miles inland we could go and visit, also my Aunty Margot  lives next door we can stay at hers.
So off went Mulder, Mohamed,Dave,Elvis and Scully

...as they walked,it was going on 11:00.When they finally reached the house...


:s09boo

When they realised that bigfoot was missing...

 ...so Mulder,  being ever so observant,  had noticed something out of the corner of his eye,  and so rushed to the spot he thought he last saw Bigfoot.  Glancing down near the edge of what seemed like a crevice,  he turned to the group and shouted,  "I think we've just found Mel's Hole!!"


     BTW,  congratulations LB!!   :sk

'Yes' a voice boomed out behind them.....the group turned to look, to see a woman in a pair of tracksiut trousers and crop top with short hair, walking with a group of what looked to be minders...........
            Mulder whispered to Dave'who's that?'...........
Dave whispered back 'Mel C ex Spice girl......wow!

                 Mulder shrugged 'nice to meet you ' he said extending his hand.................................................................

.............Only to have it nearly bitten off by Mel C,
her Minder apologised explaining that Mel C was on a starvation diet on the orders of her record company.
The other minder than ran on ahead with a piece of fried chicken on a stick and Mel C eagerly followed .
"Well that was a bit of a distraction , now we were looking for Dave wern't we?" said Mulder rubbing the bite wound(which had turned a disturbing shade of green)
"Shall we go down the hole or check out the old house?"...............

..."Check out the hole, of course!" Mohammed flapped hit wings at Mulder in outrage. "Our bigfoot could be down there, trapped and alone! He needs us desperately!"

"Good idea, Moham'!" Dave said with a sly grin. "And since you're so eager to help our friend, why don't you just fly down there and tell us how he's doing so far?"

After a long dispute as to who was best built to venture into the "pit," Mulder decided to put the argument to an end. "Enough!" he bellowed. "Obviously somebody here needs a time out!" he growled, pointing to Dave, who indignantly stomped over to a large metal post which stuck out of the ground, cursing and muttering furiously to himself.

"Hey! Wait a second!" Mohammed said, fluttering over to the post. "'Underground Elevator into Mel's Hole: $2.50 per ride. Elevator will compress up to a maximum of 300 lb. This machine does not accept bills,'" he read aloud.  

"Good idea.Who's the lightest of us here?"said Dave."Well,who's the smallest?"asked Mulder.Everyone looked at Dave."Oh alright."said Dave.So Mohammed and Dave decended into the pit....



                    :s09boo

.......as they descended deeper and deeper a low wailing noise was getting louder and louder.
At the bottem of the pit they realised they were at the entrance to a large cave.
They sent the lift back up for Mulder and Elvis.
With our gang all together (apart from Bigfoot of course)
they marched bravely on into the cave to continue their search for their lost comrade...............

.......So the bunch ventured deeper, and deeper into the cave. They held hands as not to loose their way in the dark. The air smelled musty, the atmosphere was humid, and the ground was damp. The further and further they went, the warmer the air became.

"We must be reaching the core of the Earth!" Mohammed gasped. "But listen!" he said, muting his voice to let his companions hear the sound of dripping water.

"We're probably beneath the ocean!" Mulder said, grimly. But they continued walking, for what seemed like many days. They lived off of Mohammed's small supply of bottled nectar for energy and filling. And just as they thought they could walk no more, and would have to stop..........

... a big bright light came at them, closer and closer, closer and suddenly Dave knew where the were, in an old mine nearby Bocholtz in the south of the Netherlands! The light was and inspector of the government to chekc if everything was allright. When he saw the butterfly and dave he sais "Well be damned! I never expected to see this here!" Then he grabbed...

...his gun and said,"Don't move,Mothman!"Mohammed put his hands up and said,"Well,technically,I'm a butterfly..."the inspector ignored that and said...

[blue]...'I came down here to investigate reports of a naked American lady covered in jam tapdancing...'

The group stood with their hands in the air and simply stared.

'So, anyways,' the embarrassed inspector said, 'you're going to have to be detained. This is government property.'

As he finished speaking a sound grew louder from the dank, deep darkness behind them. All heads turned towards the sound, which was sharp and rattled and sounded slightly metallic...
[/blue]

.... "You boys better stay here, while I go down there and handle that," the inspector said in a smooth, sexy, and professional tone. He glided into the darkness with his pistol pointing up, his image growing fainter with every step.

Once he had completely disappeared, there was an abrupt and distinct sound of clattering dishes and smashing glass, and then a "Hey, what the hell gives here, man!? Get off of me!"

The inspector then reappeared, now holding the wrist of a tall, slender, and dark-haired teen-aged boy, with a tight grip. When the boy tried to twist his arm free, the inspector shoved him into the stone wall and pulled out his gun, pointing in the boy's direction. "Alright son, I want some answers and I wan' 'em quick! First of all, what the hell is you name, and second of all, what in the devil's kingdom are you doin' on this property?" he said in a now, deep and coarse voice.

"My name is Pim, and I'm just......."

[blue] '.... going to feed on you!'

Suddenly Pim pulled back his lips to reveal long canine fangs and moved so quickly that the Inspector had no time to react.

The rest of them looked into the darkness in horror trying to find out where Pim had gone.

Then the Inspector got dragged upwards swiftly by something unseen. His gun fired out and bullets riccocheted from wall to wall.

Blood sprayed down from the darkness.
[/blue]

..............." OK CUT Thats a rap."
Suddenly our gang were engulfed in a bright light.
When their eyes had become acustom to the lights they realised they had stumbled onto a movie set where "The Lost Boys II" was being filmed.
The Inspector came towards them clapping his hands
"Bravo Bravo Thats the best acting I'v seen in ages, who's your agent"
Mulder, Dave, Elvis and Mohammed just stared at him blankly.
"oh prehaps I should introduce myself" said the Inspector.
I'm the Director/Producer and Star of this film, You might Know me better as.........................

.....Richard Simmons.  "Now everybody get ready for some physical rehearsing," he said while wobbling his arms about.  
Mulder then reached for his 8 gauge shotgun and pointed it at Simmons.
Simmons whistled, suddenly Jay and Silent Bob appeared.
Bob: "We are the apostles, and we must stop Mulder at all costs."
Jay: "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and he's Chewie, and he's  Ben Kenobi, and we're in that f*cked-up bar." Just then Matt Damon appeared......
     

[blue]...and disappeared again just as rapidly...[/blue]

and just as fast as Bill Clinton stated "I didn't inhale"..... :s2

a parcel appeared .(It was addressed to Bea Arthur)The odd parcel smelt of sulpher and a quiet scratching noise could be heard eminating from inside, "wow" said Mohamad "We should.............."