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I've been wondering how valid the theory of a singularity is, and I have a few questions I was wondering about.
The theory in this case is general relativity, Einstein's theory of gravitation. And singularities essentially amount to divide by 0 errors. You're probably aware that general relativity describes spacetime in terms of geometry. But there are instances where the equations describing that geometry blow up. The first solution to Einstein's equations is called the Schwarzschild metric and it had two cases where you'd be dividing by zero: one where r = 0 and one where r = 2Gm. The second one turned out to be what's called a coordinate singularity--changing coordinates made it go away. The second one, however, is a real singularity, meaning something is really going on there (this is the point at the center of a spherical, nonrotating black hole).
You obviously know the physical interpretation. Mass is crushed to an infinitely dense point at the center of the Schwarzschild black hole. How valid is that? Maybe valid. Maybe not so valid. This is a very, very extreme physical situation and its tough to ask any one physical theory to account for every situation, no matter how extreme. Every theory has limits to its validity, where a more accurate theory takes over to clear things up. But maybe this crazy state of affairs is real.
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How can all mass be in one single spot at the same time, that has absolutely no size at all?
In our daily lives we do associate with mass with size, it seems. But the Standard Model of particle physics, for example, treats elementary particles are being points. The top quark, which has about the same mass as a gold atom, and the electron are both considered to have the same size--no size at all. So the size-mass issue isn't necessarily a big problem (though it might take some getting used used to). But I imagine you're asking what's going on physically. Let's take a quick look at what comes before.
Stars exist in a state of hydrostatic equilibrium: gravity tries to pull them inward and the pressure from the temperatures generated by their fuel-burning counteracts this. But gravity is patient and eventually the nuclear fuel will run out. At that point complex things start to happen but the end result is gravity has (near) free reign. If the mass (and thus the gravity) isn't large enough, then a principle that keeps electrons and neutrons from being in the same place at the same time (Pauli's exclusion principle) will generate a sort of pressure--called degeneracy pressure--to halt the collapse. For smaller masses, electron degeneracy pressure holds them up and they become white dwarfs but for larger masses a stronger force is needed: neutron degeneracy pressure. But neutron stars can't be arbitrarily large. There's an upper limit (the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkoff limit) above which pressure from the neutrons can't halt the gravitational collapse. In that case (in general relativity's mind, at least) nothing can stop the collapse and it goes into a sort of freefall, smashing ever smaller and smaller until it gets as small as you can imagine.
Now it's very possible something else goes on to stop it eventually. This is a physical situation where our understanding of the underlying physics is hazy at best. We're not sure what works and what doesn't in such situations.
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Wouldn't that mean that the mass was smaller than an atom? Or do the atom's shrink? How does the mass all stay in one piece?
Yes, the singularity would be smaller than an atom because atoms have a size. Everything would be smashed far beyond having any structure (i.e. atoms).