Well, here we are again at this great and most momentous day. April third. For those of you who are new here, it is the second most important day in the UM pantheon of days. It is the day that 33 years ago, my mother paid for her few hours of pleasure with over eight hours of dragging me kicking and screaming into this world. (Moment of silence required here).

Many of our older AND legal aged members, may decide to observe this solemn holiday with the commonly accepted drunken revelry that is most often accociated with this day. Those of you not of legal age can do your part by offering to drive them home later. (or at least transporting them to the next bar as the local police STILL refuse to recognise April 03 as the high holy day that it is.

As for me, I will be co-memorating this day this year as my last birthday without a child. Yes, that is true, it would so seem that I poked fun at my wife and she took it serious. NINE MONTHS SERIOUS! As it seems, I will be a Father come this December. (For those of you playing the drinking game, yes, that IS a double).

As some of you know, my family is scattered through-out the U.S. and my wifes family is equally scattered about two counties. Some time will be required to gather all of them in to the same legal jurisdiction. (One of her cousins attempted to out run the cops in a Ford Festiva! Nope, not a joke. Besides, her dad has informed me that it will take an extra several days to cook off his tri-county renouned "We gonna be Grandparents batch"- [ I think that means that he filters it]). (!)

As such, I have had to make allowances for relatives of HER side of the family. Some of which will have to wait for my relatives to climb down out of the mountains before we can all gather to celebrate in traditional "Umbarger" fashion. (We're gonna get drunk and shoot high powered weapons at targets placed in a dried out pond using the light of a really big bonfire to light the way!). Because of the travel time, we'll be discharging firearms this Saturday, April the 7th, 2007. Those of you who are more orthadox about April 03 will be allowed to drink on that date. Far be it from me to withhold the home-brew.

So far, my day planner looks like this:

01). At some time after my waking up/coming to, a late dinner will be held at my favorite Mexican resturaunt, Los Pinos, Albany Georgia.
02). Some time later, many legally owned firearms will be discharged just because we like the sounds and the smells. (Besides, I just got my b-day present, a new rifle!!!).
03). A regulation bon fire will be constucted of and including many items gathered that are no longer of use. (Ex's and In-laws are not permitted this time, sorry).
04). Gun fire will be frequent and random as an expresion of joy at the "Official" announcement of a new addition to the family.

Those who are to unable to attend are encouraged to celebrate in their present locations on Saturday, April 07th, at sundown, to the extent as local law and ordinances permit.

Those choosing not to attend because they think that I am a total redneck gun nut whack-job government patsey are still expected to hoist a mug of their favorite, face south west Georgia at sundown and say: "I swear to the powers that be that I WILL vote for Lord Umbarger if he ever runs for president". OR they may utter the profanity of their choosing.



In all seriousness though, those of you who are mothers, fathers, and parents in forced absentia, please offer your prayers to help insure the well being of who Kimberly and I hope will be, our first borne.

Hey HaPpY DaY for "U" Lord Umbarger.
Heres a brand new Appatchie copter for home use and fly where ever u care to , sorry ammo not included. lol

Abecrombie

Wishing you a very happy Birthday!! Have fun!

Sounds like great fun...I'll toast you all day Daddy, just getting you used to it.

Best wishes to Mommy, too!

Happy birthday, Lord. Have a good one too.

Happy *cough* belated *cough* birthday Lord Umbarger! I hope your day went great

I'll drink a beer or 12 in your honor LU. Happy birthday! We're all older right now than we've ever been but I'm getting to the point now that I have to forget something in order to remember anything new

Happy Birthday and congrats!!![/font] [color="#4169E1"][font="Book Antiqua"]Bullits and booms abound

OOOPPPSSSYYY

happy birthday i brought you a jet plane to fly like this one

Yeah, I'm late, so shoot me.....wahahahahahhahahaaa....get it?

Nevermind.

Oh and congrats on the whole baby making thing.

Love to see the video.

Have I missed your B-Day ... good grief ... well hell .......

Happy Belated Birthday!! Hope you had a wonderful wonderful day