I'm a huge believer in reincarnation and karma. I've always believed everything happens for a reason and karmic debt helped me understand why bad things happen to good people. I'm afraid that I'm somehow using my beliefs to keep myself from being happy.

I'm in a relationship that was rocky for a long time. He's an alcoholic and the relationship has taken a toll on me physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. For some reason though I'm very drawn to him and have always loved him and stood by him unconditionally. This is someone that I can, for the first time, see myself spending my whole life with. When I met him he seemed so familiar to me and I was comfortable. I didn't feel lost. I felt like for the first time in my life I was where I belonged and that I didn't have to search anymore.

When the relationship was horrible I could handle it. Now that things are getting better I'm scared to death. When the bad things were happening there was always that part of me that knew that things happened for a reason and whatever I was receiving was a lesson or some debt that was being repaid. Now that things are good I'm really afraid. He's stopped drinking. We're planning a wedding in November. He tells me daily that I saved him from darkness and how he'd be dead if I hadn't found him. He tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life showing me how grateful he is to me. Life gets better every day and I live in such fear I can't even be happy. I'm afraid that because all the hardship is over that he'll go on to something else. I should be happy that I'm going to spend my life with someone that really loves me and accepts me for who I am but I'm crippled with fear.

Part of me thinks that I'm using my beliefs to keep myself from being happy. In the past I've always felt as if I needed to be punished and no matter how many hardships I go through it never seems to be enough. How can I stop using my beliefs to punish myself and just learn to accept something good?

I am inherently uneasy with giving relationship advice, but I think this could help-


Just go with it. Take it one day at a time, and see how it works out. You've done your best and now it's time to relax.

You are afraid of your happiness. I'm not sure exactly where your beliefs lie (outside of karma and reincarnation, and that doesn't give too much to go on) so it is difficult to give you much advice. Perhaps I can answer your question with more information (as much as you are comfortable with).

For all you know, you may both have worked out your differences and problems and are now about to move onto the next phase in your relationship. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you therefore, why don't you believe him?

Who knows what may have gone on in a previous life between the two of you, what does appear to shine out from your posting however, is that both seemed to have worked through whatever it was that was causing problems. For all you know maybe you caused him heartache and pain in a previous life and so when you met him in this life you accepted without reservation any heartache he caused you. That seems to be literally all in the past now, if what you are saying is true.

Personally, I would now enjoy the relationship, you are only crippled with fear because you can't quite believe how the hardship may now all be over - but it may well be and I think you can look forward to happy times ahead and new things in abundance. If you weren't scared when you had hard times, now is definitely NOT the time to fear lol.

I wish you both all the very best and hope you both have a grand time