* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.

* Just remember that you're unique, just like everybody else.

* My mother in law takes a 5 mile walk every day, I wonder to where she got already.

* I'm single, my inlaws couldn't have kids.

* It's not nice to age another year, but consider the alternative.

* Never hit a man with glasses, hit him with your fist, far better results.

* If I survive death I'll probably survive everything.

* I still miss my ex, but I'm getting closer with each jab.

* I suport public educasion.

* Don't piss me off. I hardly have any room left to hide the body.

* And on the 8th day, God spoke: "OK, Murphy, your turn."

* I cna typ 300 wrods a mnitue.

* Note to all posters, please read back your post to sure you didn't leave out any words.

* Your village called, they want their idiot back.

* If everything goes right, you probably overlooked something.

* Join the army, visit exotic countries, meet interesting people, kill them.

* I don't believe in superstition, that's bad luck.

* When you're driving, you're putting your faith in the hands of your feet.

* I want to die in my sleep, just like my grandfather. Not crying and shouting like the passengers on his bus.

* I decided to live forever, so far so good.

* The speed of light is higher than the speed of sound. Therefore people might look smart, untill you hear them talk.

* One night I was lying in my bed, looking at the stars, when I wondered: "Where the hell did my roof go?"

* Life's to short to debate everything, therefore I am always right.

* My low-self esteem is not as good as yours.

* All I'm asking for is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't bring happiness.

* Never eat yellow snow.

* If you can't stand a person, consider walking a mile in his shoes. Then, when you piss him off, you're a mile away and have his shoes.

* Children in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause children.

* If you freeze to death, and go to hell. Somewhere along the way it must feel rather good.

* A Scot, a Dutchman and an German walk into a bar, says the barkeeper "Is this a joke?"

* I'm not tense, I'm just very, very, VERY alert!!!

* Should we one day have recycled all our plastic we will have enough lawnchairs to enjoy the greenhouse effect.

* I may be crazy, but at least I can fly.

* Elvis is dead, Mozart is dead, Einstein is dead, and now I don't feel to good either.

* If being ugly would hurt, you would cry all day.

* Blub, quaks the cow.

I like em alot Phantom!

i love em all phantom...very cool

please support bacteria...its the only culture some ppl get

Cool all cool

I especially liked the first 2 . pure genius

wow, it must have taken u sum time to gather o this original signatures. good work!

Quality,all of them.

where'd u find em anyway?

lol those are great - and i thought i was the only one who searched for crap like that!

it's not crap

Um if I decide to call it crap then it is crap - why do you care what I call it?!

Like them Phantom

Oh well while we are doing that allow me I think your posts are pretty worthless I have yet to see a post or reply from you that is worth a drop in a hat. I also think that you should drop your attitude and stop trying to provoke people on this board because frankly we are getting a little tired of it.

thanks 4 ur advice. u could really use a bit more of an open mind, no1 agrees with everything every1 says, no need 2 get worked up being critical.
PS. u actually seen all my posts?

Phantom,it's me,just wanna say they r absolutly brilliant!!!:

:alien